My Brother, Durga dai

For those reading, you may wonder when I acquired a brother. While I have many brothers now, I have only one big brother. No, we were not separated at birth (to my knowledge, my mom never birthed a son!). In fact, we only met a little over a year ago. I can't recall our meeting place. I only remember thinking that the individual standing before me was someone special. Over the last year, I have come to know just how remarkable Durga is. Like many of my new found friends, Durga is from Nepal. Different from others, he is older than me. "Dai" in Nepali refers to an elder brother. Just as many Nepali's refer to Durga as "dai", so do I. With age comes maturity. Maturity and wisdom. Durga has always been quick to help & ready to listen whenever I've needed a friend or someone to talk to. In addition to his "being there", he is someone from which I love to learn things from. At one time, Durga was a translator in his country. As I desire to learn Nepali, he's been patient in trying to teach me as well as giving me resources that can be of assistance to me. Durga dai to many, appears to be a quiet, timid, reserved individual. He can be all of those things. However, with me, he's extremely funny, talkative and loads of fun. If you were to ask many of the Nepali students to name people that they had utmost respect for in their circle, you would surely hear Durga's name. I have great trust & admiration for Durga dai. When my journey with Nepali persons began I started hearing about Everest Cafe (the only Nepali Restaurant in St. Louis). I'd hoped to go for a long time but never was able to make it. Finally, after a year, I made it there. My first trip there was with my brother. I am so glad that I was able to go with someone so dear to my heart. One day, Durga will leave St. Louis. On that day (& many days after), I'll be sad. When that time comes, I'll know that I've not only made a friend for a lifetime but I, for a short time, enjoyed life with the big brother I'd always longed for. For now, I'll continue to grab hold of every second I can spend with Durga, cherishing every moment.

Dashain Party 2010

Dashain Party 2009 was my intro to the Nepali culture. Dashain Party 2010? I was excited to be in the presence of & celebrating a year spent with some astounding Nepalese persons. My dear bahini (little sister), Grishma, got me a ticket to the event & her doing so, made me feel quite honored. My Nepali friends (both old & new) have been so good to me over the last year - welcoming me, treating me as one of their own. Odd as it may seem, I have a family-like atmosphere with many of them. From the moment I first learned about this years party, I had high hopes that I would be fortunate enough to go. Last year, I felt a little like a duck out of water. I was in an unfamiliar setting amidst a roomful of strangers from a completely different walk of life than my own. This go around, I felt "at home" if you will. While I certainly did not know everyone in attendance, I knew a a fare percentage of those that were present. Just as they have done time & time again over the last 12 months, they greeted me with kindness & a friendly spirit. This year, I bought a ticket for a friend of mine - an American friend. Zach had been in my home when one of the Nepali's cooked, he'd been around some of the Nepali's...only seemed appropriate to invite him along. I was sure to let him know that he would probably not understand a word spoken through the evening as most of the program would be in Nepali. I failed to mention, however, that he could just disregard whatever "time schedule" may have appeared on his ticket. If there is one thing I have learned over the last year, it is that the Nepalese do not run on American time. I am not saying that harshly nor is such a statement true of every person from Nepal. However, I think that many of my Nepali friends could agree with me on this though. I have grown accustomed to how things are done & I'm OK with it now that I have an understanding of things. That being said, our tickets stated that we would begin eating dinner at 8:00 p.m. As the clock kept on ticking & our stomach's continued to growl with hunger, Zach questioned when we would be eating. I then remembered from the year prior that I had asked the same thing when sitting at the table with Suman. As I thought back to the year before, I began to laugh. I broke the bad news to Zach--it was probably going to be a while. If my memory was correct, we did not eat until nearly 9:00 the year before. On another note, when we finally did eat, the food was delectable! I think Zach would admit that though the wait was long, the food was worth the wait. He, like me, loved the Goat's Meat. Only disappointment of the evening was that Zach left before the after-hour dance party started. I was really looking forward to watching him show off his moves on the dance floor. I had already insisted that I would NOT be dancing. In fact, I said I would "NEVER" dance. Lesson learned yet again in life..."NEVER say NEVER!" Though I'm not sure one could call it dancing, I was on the dance floor & moved slightly. All in all, I would total my minutes of "moving" to maybe 5. 7 minutes top.

(Pankaj was, no doubt, the dancing machine. He tried his best to try to get me to moving. He was successful for a minute or two.)

Instead, I was much more at ease taking my pictures. At one point, some guy I did not know came & grabbed me by the hand & attempted to drag me out there to dance with him. I told him I was busy. His words were, "You've taken enough pictures, it's time to dance." He got me out there--it was short-lived though. Every fiber of my being wishes that I had rhythm & knew how to move without looking like a complete fool. I heard the music, liked the music, could sing along to the songs & was dying to get out there. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wonder....are there Dance Lessons for Dummies?

(My sweet friend, Pawana. She let me know that there are just a few "basic moves" that I need to learn in order to "hold my own out on the dance floor." She'll have to be the teacher-not an easy task!)

Despite the fact that I did not dance the night away with my friends, I had a fantastic time with my many friends. The party ended shortly after midnight & after driving here & there to return friends to their "homes", I finally tucked myself in my own bed at 3:30 the next morning. I had just as good of a time (if not better) as expected. I am so jubilant that I was able to go share such a special time with people that are so close to my heart. A year away but I'm ready....Dashain 2011!

Rolling On The River

11:00 a.m. : Check-out time at the hotel in Cape. I made it out just minutes before 11 & then pondered what to do & where to go next. Remembering Keshav's pictures from his stay in Cape, I wanted to make sure that I explored the riverfront. Darpan was unable to go with me & Samikshya was fast asleep unaware that her phone was ringing. I've never really been one to allow being alone to stop me from doing something. While many won't go to a restaurant by themselves, I will. Certainly, I was not going to pass on the opportunity to see some more sights. The murals painted all along the wall at the riverfront were a nice addition to the area....great concept depicting different historical aspects as well as famous persons born in the state of Missouri. I enjoyed sitting & watching the river roll along. Though the town was ghostly due to SEMO being on Fall Break & students being away, there were no shortage of couples. Not even a clue as to how many couples I saw that were walking around posing for engagement photos. I hate to say it but that got to me. Had I have had someone, ANYONE with me, things would have been fine. Instead, I had no one to take my mind off of all that I saw which only brought to the forefront that yes, I'm single. Though this is a reality daily for me, most days it does not bother me. Unfortunately, it did on this day. Since my camera was out of commission (accident-it was dropped), I had to use my cell phone camera to try to capture the scenery. If I would have had someone with me, we could have taken some cool pics down there. After walking around, hunger set in. As I walked, I saw a place selling ice cream, shakes & malts. Seeing as how I'm quite passionate about ice cream, I knew I should stop there. I walked in & as soon as I stepped foot in the door, the aroma of BBQ hit me. I don't get to enjoy BBQ too frequently as some in my family do not like it. I decided to enjoy lunch there & cap things off with a shake to go. I was the only customer in the place when I arrived, only one there when I left. Which, that might lead many to believe that the place was not worth eating at. However, I'd go back there in a flash as it was quite tasty. Before exiting Cape, I made 2 stops-1 at Darpan's dorm & 1 at Samikshya's house. I thanked them & said my farewell. Moving along.....

Chillin' in Cape

Over the last year, I have developed friendships with many students from Nepal. As I have gotten to know them, I've received friend requests on Facebook from many of their friends/family members back home in Nepal or in other places around the world. I've accepted some of those requests & have conversed with a great number of these individuals. 2 of the Nepali's I'd been in contact with live here in Missouri in the town of Cape Girardeau & are attending Southeast Missouri State University. Wishing to meet them, I figured while time allowed, I would do so. I first met Darpan. I learned about Darpan over the summer when my little brother, Narayan, called & asked me to pick up his friend from the airport. Ready & eager to do so, I learned that Darpan was not in St. Louis as Narayan thought. Instead, he was in Kansas City (for those unfamiliar with this place, Kansas City is about 3.5-4.0 hours west of St. Louis). He was also not attending college in St. Louis as Narayan had misunderstood him to say. Needless to say, I did not meet Darpan at that time. Our moment to meet had finally arrived & he was just as I envisioned that he would be - quiet & shy. He suggested that we go to a nature conservatory & I was enthused by his effort in trying to develop a "plan." We made it to the center & he quickly caught on to one thing--I love to take pictures. I told him from the beginning that he was going to have to deal with that. I had to smile when after a few shots, he would finally hand the camera back to me & want me to take his picture. Though awkward meeting at first, he began to warm up to me as the minutes passed by. As soon as we sat down to eat some Indian food at the Global Cafe', Samikshya called. In the spring, my other little brother, Keshav, flew to Cape. He spent several days with Samikshya. I was eager to meet her as Keshav so enjoyed his time with her. She hurried to the cafe to join Darpan & myself. She was not timid at all-maybe due in part to the fact that she has been living here in the U.S. for a few years & it is a bit more accustomed to life in America? After eating, we went to Samikshya's home where I met several of her friends. I met yet another Manish & another Sameer (I say another because I already have 2 friends with the same name). I had a great time getting to know all of them. Samikshya was adamant that I try on her saree (sari). I'd been longing to try one on for quite sometime as I think they are stunning (just like the Nepalese people). While it looked "OK", I think it would have looked much better had I have had the proper attire for underneath it. Whatever the case, many of my Nepalese friends have paid me compliments on it & for that, I'm quite appreciative. Their positive feedback might be the confidence I need to attempt to wear such again sometime. Maybe I can move beyond a house & out into public while doing so as well. We'll see...no guarantees. Of course, I did tell a couple of my Nepali brothers that they could buy me one & mail it to me. I suppose if they do so, I'll have no choice but to wear it out of my respect for them. Though my stay was brief, I am so very glad that I had the opportunity to go beyond simply chatting with these 2 Nepali's & actually spend some time with them. Much thanks to Darpan & Samikshya for welcoming me & treating me as one of their own.

Autumn Splendor with Rico Suave'

Vacation, Day # 3: My third day of my vacation was meant to be spent amidst the Amish in a town a few hours from St. Charles. As with all things, plans oftentimes change. This particular day was no different. A day prior, my traveling companion contacted me to let me know she would not be able to go after-all. Knowing that I was not just going to sit around wishing that I had something to do, I took action. I remembered that a friend of mine had said he was free for the day. After verifying with him that he was still available, I began to consider options of what he & I could do for the day. Seems quite common for my international friends to say "Heather, you are the one from St. Louis. You know what there is to do. You decide something." When I questioned my buddy Roshan (he enjoys going by "Rico") as to what he wanted to do, he did not let me down. He too, said the same thing that most others have said. I pondered what we could do that he had probably not already done. Having been here a few years, he's seen the Arch, been to the Zoo & for whatever reason, was uninterested in frolicking through the flowers with me at the Missouri Botanical Gardens. A'las, a light-bulb went on inside my ole' noggin & I decided we'd make our way to the Elephant Rocks State Park. From beginning to end, the day was picture perfect in every way. I first saw Roshan about a year ago at the Dashain Party (a Nepali Festival). Our stories differ on our first meeting but whatever the case, we met. For the last year, we'd seen each other a few times on different occasions but had never spent any time together. We talked about hanging out numerous times but our talk was just that-talk. Finally, we took some action. I assigned Rico the duty of picking a place to eat for lunch & I was delighted that not only did he do so, he did quite well with his choosing. The place he picked just so happens to be one of my favorites! Before eating, we bumped into a friend of mine from church. Along with him was his friend, Olya, visiting from the Ukraine. I had hoped to meet Olya but due to other commitments, I was unable to do so at the time that was set to celebrate her time here in St. Louis. No coincidence that she & Doug were found in the Delmar Loop hours before her departure back to her country! Though short, our brief introduction & visit was nice. Olya, happy to have met you! After enjoying some Mexican (thank you again Rico for my meal), Rico & I got back in my car & I began the drive down I-55. I had to laugh when we had not been gone for very long & Rico asked if we could stop to get a drink. Of course, I was more than willing to stop & I did. I just had to chuckle. Seems I cannot manage to arrive anywhere without first getting lost. Same was true yesterday despite having not only directions from off the internet but a GPS as well. I think I took us about 15 miles out of the way before finally determining that I thought I should turn around. Thankfully, Rico did not mind the detour. Eventually, we made it to our destination. We parked & hit the trails.Though there were cars in the lot, we did not see any other people until we had completed the first trail. After a quick bathroom break (which, Rico was REAL pleased with the restroom facilities), we took off onto the other trail. Well, I'm not sure that there actually was a trail. We more or less just climbed all over the place & went our own way. We spent a while there & once we had seen everything, I attempted to take Rico to another state park. Unfortunately, when we arrived at 5:57, the gates were already closed as the park was closing at 6:00 p.m. On our return, Rico & I had great conversation & I'm happy to report, found our way back without any missteps. As we were heading back, we discussed plans for dinner. Rico mentioned German food. However, since it was getting late, we opted to play it safe & go somewhere that did not involve the risk of possibly not liking the food. Rico again did the choosing--Vietnamese food. I had never had Vietnamese--I quite liked it. The restaurant closed at 9:00 & Rico & I shut the place down as we were heading out the door minutes after closing time. I said farewell to Rico & then moved down the road to visit some friends of mine (one in particular...a different Roshan). I did not stay for long but even for the short time span, it was good to see the guys. I am glad that over the summer, I met such wonderful individuals. Enjoyed visiting with Roshan, Pankaj & Ujjwal. I had hoped to return back to St. Charles no later than 6:30 in order to attend a function at the college. However, when Rico & I didn't even make it to the park until nearly 3:00 p.m., I knew that there was no chance that I'd be back when I had desired. In the end, I'm more than content with the happenings of the day. I could not have asked for a more gorgeous day, breathtaking scenery or better company. I wish I would have been able to just stay down there at the park & camped out for the night...out in the country with nothing but open sky. I'm sure the stars would have been incredible. Though it is a bit of a drive, I am more than anxious to go back there within the next few days if anyone is up for it. Day 3, you took the cake!

Riding Solo

First day of vacationing & I, like Jason Derulo's song states, found myself "riding solo." For various reasons (some of which were mentioned in my previous post), I am having somewhat of a "stay-cation" as some would call it. Not my ideal way of spending my time off but in the end, if it saves me a few dollars & gets me one step closer to Nepal, I'll be OK with it. Thanks to my dad's love of traveling, my sister & I are quite accustomed to "going & doing" things. That being said, I can't just sit here. Pondering what to do with my time, I began to research things & found places relatively close that I have never been to. Yesterday, I set out on the open road..just me, myself & I. Well, kind of...Jack Johnson was with me on the ride there & Taylor Swift rode back with me. When I was younger, it was tradition for all of the girls in the family to do a ladies trip every once in a great while. The weekend was a time for me, my sister, my mom, aunts, cousins & my grandma to get away. On one of the trips, someone thought it would be great fun to take us younger kids to see a covered bridge that some relative built (shows how much I enjoyed it--I've no idea which family member built the thing). I would guess that I was probably around 14 at the time. Looking back, I don't know if we could have done anything more boring. 17 years later or so & guess what I've an interest in? Covered bridges. Yep! I would LOVE to go to the Northeast & tour the many covered bridges in the autumn & see the striking fall foliage & beautiful hues of red, yellow & orange towering overhead. My trip yesterday was no such thing. However, I did admire the transition of summer to fall that has taken place as I drove down the road. I've included a few pictures. While I did enjoy myself, I must confess that I would much rather have had someone with me...someone to sing with, laugh with, see the sights with. Looking forward to having a friend join me tomorrow....will be good to have company for the day.

Dreaming Big

I do not remember a time in my life when a year has passed without my going on some kind of vacation. Some years, my family has done really large trips while other years, I've just spent a week or two visiting family in Alabama. For the first time in many years, I've yet to go anywhere this year. I had planned to be boarding a plane next month traveling to Indonesia. However, things do not always go as we plan. Due to various reasons, the trip to Indonesia was cancelled & I will not be going there after-all. As the trip to Indonesia began to look less likely day by day, I began giving greater consideration to flying to Dallas or to Virginia to see some of the Nepali students that became my brothers last semester. However, just as I lead a busy life, they do also. Seems no one would have much time to visit with me. With that being said, it seems pointless for me to spend a large amount of money on a flight, hotel, car rental & food & not even get to see those I have made the trip for. Over the past year, I've grown very close to many Nepali's. From the moment I first began to learn about Nepal, there was an urge to visit the land. The more I've seen pictures & videos of Nepal, the more interest I have in the country. As I've built friendships with so many Nepalese, my desire to go there has only intensified. I wish to meet the mothers, fathers, sisters & brothers of these wonderful people. I long to let the landscape take my breath away. I am eager to sit down & enjoy Nepali food with my hands amidst other Nepali's. I want so badly to ride an elephant inChitwan Park. I want to clothe myself in stunning sari's (saree). Mainly, I want to take in all that Nepal has to offer. Though I'm disappointed that I've yet to go anywhere special this year & I won't be, I trust I am making the right choice. I've decided to forgo one of my vacation weeks this year & carry it over to next so that I may go to Nepal. God-willing, as long as I am able to save enough money for a plane ticket, I will be up in the air flying across the world next summer or fall with the destination place being Kathmandu. In the meantime, I will continue to befriend Nepali's, learn more about their culture & home & hopefully, pick up some of the language. I'm ready to tour Nepal in 2011-the year of tourism for the country!!

I Could Really Use a Wish Right Now....

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now, wish right now"- lyrics from the song "Airplanes"

I too, am looking for a wish to be fulfilled. As everyone knows by now, I absolutely love Lady Antebellum. After seeing them early this summer, I was elated upon learning that they would be returning here this month. Yes, Lady A will be back here in STL on September 30th & the Fabulous Fox Theater. I want nothing more than to go see this amazing group yet again. However, I must ask myself...do I need to spend the money on it? The answer (sadly) is "no". I'm going to hold out hope that I somehow manage to score some tickets so I'll be seated there at the end of the month hearing one of music's finest. Wish me well!

Summer Whirl

Summer has come and soon it will end. The summer has been nothing at all like I planned on it being. I expected that I would spend my summer at home-relaxing, taking it easy. As I recently shared with my family, I think I have been more active this past year than I had been the previous 30 combined. Do not misunderstand me, I have loved every second that I have been able to enjoy time with students. However, sometimes I am in great need of rest. Which, I've not succeeded well in getting. I figured that with so many students having left LU for good & many gone elsewhere for the summer, there would not really be anyone around for me to share my time with. While I did not see much of Lindenwood students, my entire summer has been devoted to meeting & getting to know students from other campuses (Fontbonne, UMSL, Maryville & Wash-U...for those unfamiliar with St. Louis, all are universities in the area here). I've met students from Nepal (of course!), Saudi Arabia, Brazil, South Korea & Thailand. We have dined out together & some have welcomed me into their homes & prepared meals for me. Though these last few months did not go as I intended them to go, I am very grateful that I've been given the opportunity to get to know all of these wonderful people. Now, I have even more friends!

The Little Things

I've often been asked why exactly it is that I blog. Many reasons. First one being the fact that I enjoy writing. Also, I hope that something I may have to say might be of encouragement to someone, bring laughter in the midst of a rather uneventful day or for those curious, allow them the opportunity to be enlightened a bit more into who I am. Some things I may write about may seem pointless to others. I'm OK with that. If you read this, it is your choice. You can also choose not to read. Either way, I'm fine. In my younger years, I often journaled & for a number of years, kept a diary. Just as my cousins & I have had the opportunity to read our Grandma's entries & see what life was like back when she was young, perhaps there will be some youngster that comes behind me that wonders what I did. For those reasons, I write...I blog. I am aware that people read my blog from time to time...probably thinking I'm a bit long-winded. I am. Recently, I learned that someone had spent an entire evening staying awake reading my words. They did not go to bed until 2:30-3:30 in the morning. I was extremely surprised when they shared such with me & even more amazed when they began questioning me about some of the things I had written. Even I had forgotten about some of the stuff! I'm a simple gal....always have been, probably always will be. For me, it's the little things in life that impress me or make me happy. The same person who ruined their sleeping out of interest for what I had to say, called me last week to let me know they had a surprise for me. They said what they had for me was going to make me really happy & they just knew I would love it. They said that "SOMEONE" had told them I wanted this gift. I racked my brain trying to think of what I may have requested from someone. I came up empty. While talking the other evening, the person said they had a bell for me. For those unaware, I collect souvenir bells. I knew I had NEVER mentioned that I collected bells or verbalized that to this individual. That being said, I was a bit confused as to how they knew that. I then remembered, my blog. A while back, I wrote about my bell collection. While reading every entry from the last 3 years, they saw that & took note of it. I have to give them credit....that is quite impressive. I can't believe someone paid such close attention to every word I wrote. I do not write in order that someone will read my words, see my wants & desires & then seek to grant me those things. However, it means a great deal that someone wanted to know "me" & that crazy as it seems, they spent hours & hours reading that which to many, may seem unimportant. Again, it's the little things in life.

Coming Soon.....

From my understanding, this is the time of year when many international students are visiting the U.S. Embassy in their country to interview & apply for visas to come to America for what could be the opportunity of a lifetime for many of them. Some, will already have made it through the interview process, obtained their visa & are now preparing for a huge move to the United States. In less than a month, 100-200 new students from all around the world will step foot onto the grounds of Lindenwood University. Most likely, I will meet just a small number of those new students. Still, I will greet new faces. I will eagerly await getting to know some of them at the airport as I'll pick them up & give them a ride to their new "home" at the college. I will meet some for the first time at an ISI meeting & others, I'll meet through various people. Though I am missing so many of the students that are no longer here, I am anxious for those that I know to return from their summer travels & for new students to arrive. I am excited for the year ahead & for the memories to be made up the road.

The Miles Between Us Do Not Stop the Memories

I was told this would get easier. While in some ways it has, many days are difficult. I know you are not here. How could I not notice? You may think I have moved on, that others have taken your place. Others have entered into my life but no one will ever be you. Though you are not here & adjusting to that truth has become easier, I miss you no less than the day you left.

I miss having you sitting beside me in Busch Stadium to watch the Cardinals play.

I miss dancing with you.

I miss going to ISI Dinners with you.

I miss not being able to take you to the Zoo in warmer temperatures.

I miss playing in the snow with you.

I miss helping you prepare Nepali meals.

I miss sharing those meals with you in my home and your home.

I miss relaxing in Spellmann with you - sitting on the sofas outside of the computer lab or down in the Connection.

I miss helping you with papers, projects and reports.

I miss waiting for you to appear at ISI meetings.

I miss you showing me your favorite Nepali music videos.

I miss you trying to teach me Nepali.

I miss you laughing at me as I tried speaking Nepali.

I miss seeing you looking sharp in your traditional Nepali clothing.

I miss getting to celebrate birthdays with you.

I miss your hugs.

I miss you telling me of your hopes and dreams of the future.

I miss hearing about those you love the most - your family...your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister.

I miss being honest and sharing things with you.

I miss your trusting me & your opening up & sharing the difficult times of your life with me.

I miss you being here to care for me, give me advice, encourage me & attempting to protect me from those that aren't the best for me.

I miss playing board games with you.

I miss your being at my house till 2 or 3 in the morning while I try to keep my eyes open.

I miss your not wanting to leave our house to return to school.

I miss asking you questions to get to know you and then hearing your responses.

I miss you waiting for my answers to those same questions.

I miss you making up your own questions.

I miss grocery shopping with you.

I miss going to the movies with you.

I miss allowing you to get in the driver's seat of my car and drive around.

I miss the smile that came upon your face when I told you that you were doing a good job driving.

I miss driving down the road wondering if you would ever decide where you wanted to eat.

I miss hearing you say, "Let's move."

I miss hearing you say, "Let it be."

I miss eating Indian food with you.

I miss having slushies with you.

I miss going to Steak & Shake with you.

I miss your going to church with me.

I miss your being in the Realm with me.

I miss searching the Loop for things with you.

I miss singing Taylor Swift songs with you ("You Belong With Me", "Romeo & Juliet", "White Horse") in my car.

I miss hearing you sing James Blunt's "You're Beautiful"

I miss hearing you sing Guns & Roses "Knockin' on Heaven's Door"

I miss hearing you sing Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do, I Do For You"

I miss singing "Must Be the Money" (Monkey!!) with you.

I miss your getting excited when my phone would ring & play "Boom Boom Pow"

I miss picking you up at the airport after returning to St. Louis.

I miss you always wanting my camera so that you could get "snaps."

I miss you making me pose for photos.

I miss walking with you, hiking with you...you patiently waiting for me.

I miss sitting on the grass of the riverfront letting the cool winds blow through our hair.

I miss fighting with you in the kitchen as we got icing all over each other...and water...and ice.

I miss photo shoots with you.

I miss your holding your country's flag proudly while allowing me to join you for a picture.

I miss you asking me about my day at work.

I miss showing you the St. Louis Arch.

I miss beating you at tennis on the Nintendo Wii.

I miss singing Karaoke on the Wii with you.

I miss getting to watch the joy on my parents faces when they see you.

I miss watching you play football (soccer).

I miss hearing you talk about Cricket.

I miss seeing you uneasy with "Easy" around. Funny time.

I miss picnics with you.

I miss sitting with you on a park bench and sharing our hearts through conversation.

I miss driving you to the India Market and your introducing me to new things there.

I miss hearing you say, "I love you."

Mainly.....I just miss your being here. I miss everything about you. Miles may be between us but my love for you is no less. My thoughts of you are not less frequent. Actually, my thoughts of you are daily. You may not be here but you can rest assured that I certainly have not forgotten you. Each day, these things above or the thinks I think of. There are many more that I did not even mention too. They come to mind and I smile, laugh or fight the tears. You are remembered. You are loved.

I Wanna Be a Billionaire

"I wanna be a billionaire, so freakin' bad. Buy all of the things I never had." These are the first couple of lines to a song being played on the radio regularly today. Go figure that immediately after our pastor preached on materialism & covetousness, I would hear this song on the radio. Though I am not a fan of the vast majority of the lyrics, I must admit that the tune is rather catchy & I cannot get the song out of my head. I know a few of the other lines from the song sporadically but don't really know the song. I just find myself singing the opening lyrics repeatedly. Pastor Bob asked on Sunday morning if God were to never give us another blessing, would we be satisfied with what we have. I was thinking for certain that I would be. I am not a materialistic individual...of course I'd be content. Until....he mentioned relationships. If I were being honest, I don't think that I would be satisfied if I were to never marry. I long for that precious gift. Facing the hard truth, I know that this is continually an area of my life in which I must ask God to give me peace & acceptance about. Moving beyond that aspect & back to the thought of wanting more money & more possessions, I did examine myself for a moment. Thankfully, my parents raised my sister & I emphasizing that money was not the most important thing in the world. Yeah, there were times when Haley & I requested certain things (Umbro shorts, Adidas jackets, Hypercolor t-shirts, a Nintendo, etc.) but for the most part, neither of us have sought to have the best of everything. As I think about the things I own, I truthfully cannot even think of one thing that I own that I would not easily be able to walk away from if need be. Of course, I'd like to be able to have my computer to communicate with everyone around the world but if I had to give it up, I could. Aside from my laptop, I don't have anything that I absolutely couldn't bear to be without. Days ago, one of the international students and I were in a discussion about my car. The suggested that I should love my car. I let them know that I like my car but I don't love my car. I'm pleased to have a car for getting to & from & I'm pleased that it is a nice car but the car is not my life & the car has no soul. The car is not my baby, child or anything else. The car is temporary & I choose to invest more time in people. All this being said, I'm thinking about that billion dollars. Would I love to have a billion? Of course, who wouldn't? Most likely, I will never be financially wealthy (& if I am it will not come by way of lottery or gambling since I do not play) & even if I were, I don't see myself wishing for the finer things in life. No, I don't care about an expensive car, diamonds galore do not appeal to me & I don't need a mansion in Malibu. Instead, I would immediately quit my job & embark upon a journey around the world. To do so, is a dream of mine. A dream that I am doubtful will ever become a reality. Even still, that would be my wish. While traveling, I would not only want to see the many sights but also be able to leave a lasting impact on all that I would encounter...an eternal impact. For now, I'll choose to trust that God has given me all that He wants me to have. I may not be a billionaire in the eyes of the world. My bank account does not have zero after zero behind it. However, I am rich....much more wealthy than I ever could have imagined. Rich in my walk with the Lord, rich in family, rich in friends. Rich in those things that truly matter.

Summers Gone By

Lastnight, I was at the home of U.S. Congressman Todd Akin for an Old-Fashioned Independence Day Celebration. While sitting there, as the sun began to set and the sky darkened, a flash of light lit up in front of my eyes. Aha! Lightning bug. I saw several more fly by and I began to think back to my youth. Summer after summer, Haley & I would go to Alabama to stay with our grandparents. I remember many a nights that we would take a jar outside & spend forever catching fireflies. I'll even go ahead & admit that we did kill a few just for the fascination of seeing the neon light as we smeared them with our shoes. Yeah, I know....so horrible were we. One of my favorite things about summer was going to bed at night with my bedroom window open falling asleep to the sound of fireflies & Junebugs being fried by the bugzapper. I know, I'm sounding more and more morbid with every word I say. Truly, I thought the sound of those little critters sizzling was a thrill. I remember our family traveling to Vandalia, MO (extremely small-population less than 2,000) & my cousins and I walking through the cornfields snipe hunting. As we did so, we struggled to find our way out. Haley & I spent the majority of our childhood at 12 Asherton Drive in Saint Peters, phone #: 928-0489. One doesn't forget that kind of thing. The subdivision in which we lived was humongous. We would ride our bikes up and down the streets day after day. If we weren't out roaming the neighborhood, we were rollerskating in our garage pretending to be running our own beauty pageants. One summer, while my sister & I were in Alabama, we returned home to find that our parents (with the help of our aunts, uncles, etc.) had built us a playhouse in our backyard. This was no average playhouse. The house itself was built of wood, about 8'x 12' with windows, a skylight complete with a carpeted rug, a chalkboard, school desk, kitchen set, etc. We ran an electric cord out to the house so that we could have lights at night. For hours, Haley & I would play school...always fighting over who was going to be the teacher. Just as we bickered over that, we too argued over who would be the cashier when we played store. Yes, we had a play cash register in our house as well. These are just a few of my memories. Those were special days....days that at times, seem so long ago while at other times, I recall them as though it was just yesterday.

Stardom Is Not For Me Unless It's for Him

This past Tuesday night, I ventured to Lindenwood (as I do every week) for our weekly ISI meeting. After arriving, a young girl approached both Haley and myself and introduced herself while stating that she had heard much about us. She is a college student from our church and had even seen us around before. She let us know that we are famous at the Realm (which, the Realm is the worship area/hangout place for the college kids at First Baptist Church of Harvester). I was taken aback in hearing such as Haley & I have spent little time at the Realm and little time with the college kids from our church. However, I am sure that the college kids see us with the international students frequently. I've never aspired to be famous. Within me, there has never been a longing for everyone to know who I am. In fact, just the opposite is true of me. I would rather go unnoticed and be able to avoid all eyes being upon me. As I thought about being recognized by everyone, I began to realize something. Though I wish not to be popular or a celebrity, if I am going to be known by all, may I be known for loving. I pray that if I am to be famous, it's for the right reason....for serving others and loving others as my Savior Jesus does. When others look at me, may that not see "me" but see "Him" (Jesus Christ).

I'm Not a Flower Hater!

Birthday gift to my Mom!

Hydrangea

Stargazer Lily

Despite the fact that I have on many occasions stated that I would not want someone to spend their hard-earned money on gifting me with flowers (my reasoning is this: flowers die within a matter of days. As nice as they are to look at, if someone is going to choose to spend money me, I would rather them do so on something that will last longer.), I DO actually have favorite flowers (which, they are shown above) and I see the beauty of flowers. While vacationing in Washington and B.C. in 2006, one of our stops was at Butchart Gardens. I must admit that I was not exactly looking forward to spending hours in a flower garden. However, once I was there, things changed. I discovered just how fascinating the garden was. I had no idea that there were so many different types of roses alone...each one with a different name. Many of the flowers had signs stating what flowers were cross-bred in order to make that particular flower and the year in which it came to be. Who knew flowers could be so interesting? I certainly did not! Now, while I do love to admire flowers, I do not claim to even have the slightest idea about names of flowers and so forth. I proved such yesterday when entering into a local florist to order flowers for my mom's birthday. Having looked at the arrangements in the case and not been impressed, I agreed to allow the florist make something special for me. She asked me what I would like and I started things by picking out a vase and then giving her a price point. She then began to name off flowers and ask me what I would like. Meanwhile, Haley stood beside me in laughter knowing that I didn't have the slightest notion as to what the flowers looked like by the names the lady was rambling off. Haley finally informed the lady that I knew nothing about flowers so I wouldn't know what she was talking about. Thankfully, the florist was kind enough to actually show me what the flowers were and tell me their names. I was able to point to one and tell her it was one of my favorites..she had to clue me in on the name of it. After seeing the options, I still was not able to communicate what I wanted (I think that was my indecisiveness coming into play) so I allowed the lady to do whatever she wanted. I think my mom's birthday gift turned out rather well. Apparently, others thought the same. As Haley & I were returning home, while stopped at a stop light, a lady in the lane next to us glanced over, saw the flowers & gave me a thumbs-up, nodded & smiled at me in approval. Good job me!!

Ring-a-ling-a-ling

Some people collect stamps. Some collect shot glasses. Others collect thimbles. Me? I collect bells. As a preteen, I began purchasing bells everywhere I would go. Over the years, I have had many friends and family members that have gifted me with bells. Recently, a couple of students from the Ukraine have been so very sweet in having bells shipped from their hometown for me. A number of people have expressed interest in knowing about my bell collection...specifically wondering where I have bells from. I've included some pics of my bells as well as the list of locations that I have bells for.

Foreign Bells From:

Vienna, Austria

Rome

Victoria, B.C.

Amsterdam, Poland

Gdnask, Poland

Switzerland

Korea

Jerusalem

London, England

Ukraine

Nicaragua

Kuwait

Israel

Budapest, Hungary

Aruba

Germany

Nova Scotia

El Salvador

U. S. Bells From:

Gulf Shores, Alabama

New York

Leavenworth, Washington

Idaho

South Padre Island, Texas

Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Maui, Hawaii

Washington, D.C.

Jupiter, Florida

Maine

West Virginia

Boston, Massachusetts

Smoky Mountains

Virginia Beach, Virginia

Alaska

Sanibel Island, Florida

New Mexico

Minnesota

Colorado

Illinois

Pennsylvania

Kentucky

Indiana

Sea World-Orlando, Florida

North Carolina

Tennessee

Arizona

Las Vegas, Nevada

Iowa

Missouri

South Dakota

Utah

If you are heading out on a trip and think of me, I would love a bell from wherever you may be going. If you get me one, I'll surely pay you back as I'll just be happy to have another bell to add to the collection!