Lifetime of Learning

No matter where we are, no matter who we know...we are never done learning. Life is always giving us opportunities to gain more knowledge & learn more & more. With any relationship, the more time you spend with the person, the more you learn about them. Do I know everything there is to know about my fiance, Narayan Prasad Sharma? No. Does he know everything there is to know about me? Absolutely not. Each day we continue to learn new things about one another & long after we're married, we'll still be learning. I was reminded of this yesterday when a man came into my work to withdrawal money from his account. The man requested $250.00, $30.00 of it to be in $1.00 bills. Now, if you are American, you probably have some guesses as to what he was going to do with those dollar bills but he claimed they were going to be used to purchase Mountain Dew's from the vending machine at his work. Whether or not the man was lying, I'll never know but that is beside the point. As I thought about Mountain Dew, I thought "Wow, I can't even drink 1, much less to think about drinking 30 of them!" I was taken back to my time a few months ago when I was in Nepal. N.P. & I traveled to meet his friend T.R. When we reached Chitwan, we stopped into a cafe to eat some Momo (a Tibetan Dumpling). N.P. asked if I would like a "coke". I replied that I would. When he returned, he had a Mountain Dew in his hand for me. He let me know that they were out of cokes. I politely thanked him, opened the Mountain Dew & slowly drank it. Only after I returned home to the U.S. did I share with him that of all the sodas I dislike the most, Mountain Dew is the one I least like. On my first night in Nepal, I was all psyched & ready for some good Nepali food. Nope. We went to the Bakery Cafe where N.P. decided to order a Chicken Burger & Pizza. WHAT? American food? Not what I had hoped for. As N.P. asked what kind of pizza I wanted, I pointed out that I don't like veggies on pizza but I could pick things off that I might not like. What kind of pizza did he order? A supreme - full of vegetables. Immediately, I began removing onions, peppers & chunks of tomatoes. N.P. felt horrible. He somehow missed my saying that I did not like veggies on pizza. Such was a time of learning for him though. He was discovering that while I may be pretty diverse with my taste buds, I can also be a bit picky. Not only do I not like veggies on pizza, I do not like cooked tomatoes. I also do not like onions unless they are sauteed so softly that there is absolutely no crunch to them & go nearly unnoticeable to me. Though I do not like these things, I WILL eat them in Nepali foods. He took mental notes of all of this. Unfortunately, I had never had Sugarcane or Sugarcane Juice prior to my time there. As we were returning from a long day (I had spoken to a class for 1 hour that morning & we then spent time walking & then stopping for lunch), we were walking up the road when we came across a lady on the side of the road making juice. N.P. asked me if I liked Sugarcane Juice. I informed him I had never had it & did not want any. When he saw the lady had pineapples, he asked if I liked Pineapple Juice. I let him know that I do - I love it. He requested that she make me some Pineapple Juice but she was unable to do so; she could only make Sugarcane Juice. After specifically stating that I was not interested in trying it, he bought me an entire glass of Sugarcane Juice - some of the worst stuff I've ever put in my mouth. I did not like it AT ALL! Trying to get it all down was hard work as I wanted to just dump it out on the ground. N.P. did not learn just how much I disliked it until a while later when I informed him that he better never make me drink that stuff again. He learned that I have a LONG way to go before I am able to cook a Nepali Meal & make it taste decent. He learned that I am not the American Girl coming to his country expecting the finer things in life. I learned that even though he hates cauliflower, he is kind enough to buy it, prepare it & even eat some of it simply because it's one of my favorite Nepali dishes. I learned that washing clothes by hand can be somewhat enjoyable if you have someone you love beside you & you laugh a lot while you are doing the washing. I learned that N.P. will never be drinking his coffee or tea black - he's got to have at least 2 spoons of sugar in a cup. I learned that despite the fact he does not think he cooks well, he does. I learned that he is even better than who I thought he was. I learned that he does not think a sari (Nepali/Indian dress) suits me well. I learned that he wants to please everyone; make everybody happy. I learned that though I may think the money should not be spent, there will be times when N.P. simply wants to do something special for me & I need to allow him to do so & just show gratitude. I learned that even though he is getting older & can't do what he may have been able to do in the past, he's still going to go play volleyball even when I warn him that he's going to again be experiencing pain later because he will hurt his knee. I learned that he does not like rain, cloudy days or cold weather. If the sun is not shining, he is thinking he doesn't like the day.While some of these things are humorous & some are not, these are all things that we would never know if we did not spend time with one another, talk with one another, listen to each other. Our relationship will grow deeper as we learn these things about one another. Not only do we just learn but we apply that which we learn & we do our best to remember & to also seek ways to improve upon the areas in which we may falter or fail. The same is true in our relationship with Jesus. If we fail to pray, if we fail to read His Word, if we fail to meditate upon it - how can we know Him? How can we know His likes/dislikes? How can we know what He loves? As I seek to know my fiance more & more, my prayer is that I would even more so, seek to know my Heavenly Father more day by day. May God grant me a teachable spirit in which each moment is one where the Lord may teach me something new.

Wisdom Imparted

This morning, a 79 year old member came in to be waited on. As he was leaving, I was reminded of a conversation he & I had a few years ago. This kind gentleman has been a member of the credit union for many years & I remember him from when I first started back in November 2009. I do not find it unusual or out of the ordinary when members inquire about my marital status. Some do so simply because they are nosey people, some ask because they are curious for their own benefit thinking perhaps they may woo me & some are just kind-hearted individuals that feel like they know me & seek to know me better as they often feel as though I’m a granddaughter, daughter, niece, etc. to them.  The latter is true with this nice senior adult. From time to time, he likes to talk to me about his late wife. The love he has for her even now, years after her death, is astonishing. Clearly, he loved (& still does) deeply. One day, several years ago, he asked me if I was married. I politely responded, “No sir, I am not.” He began to impart some wisdom to me & tell me that whatever I was to do, make sure I look for man that loves Jesus because if the man loves Jesus, he will treat me well & we would have a long lasting marriage. Unfortunately, when he walked out the door today, I was on a phone call & did not have the opportunity to speak with him. I want Erwin to know that I found a man who loves Jesus & I’ve no doubt that he will treat me well & our marriage will last until the Lord calls us home. Thankful for those people that God puts in our path to share lessons learned & impart their wisdom to us. I pray that Mr. Sharma & I will have a marriage as great as this man’s was & that each day, our love for one another would only flourish that much more & that when asked about our love for one another, we may say that we love each other more at that time than the day we married.

Wanted: Contentment

Jer 17:7-8 7 “Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, And whose hope is the LORD. 8 For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, Which spreads out its roots by the river, And will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought, Nor will cease from yielding fruit.

For some time, I’ve found myself being in a real state of dissatisfaction – restlessness. Even more so after returning from Nepal. My heart longs to be elsewhere (in Nepal, with N.P., ministering to the Nepalese People) & yet, I remain here. As some of you may have seen on Facebook, I’ve started the filing to Petition for the Fiance Visa. Some of you may ask why that is if N.P. had planned to just apply last month for the Travel Visa to come here over the summer for marriage. Unfortunately, as I faced reality, I’ve learned that my debt is too great to be paid off by July or August of this year. More than likely, I will not be debt-free until a year from now. With this realization, N.P. & I had to take into consideration that should he be granted the visa to come for a wedding over the summer, he would be returning to Nepal without me. After much prayer & discussion between the two of us, believing firmly that it is not God’s intention for husband & wife to be part; we are waiting. I am not a patient person. I do not like to wait at all; especially when I must wait for that which my heart most longs for.

I have friends (husband/wife) who have been separated for over a year now as the husband took on new job in Texas. Meanwhile, the wife stays here in St. Louis as they pray continually or their house here to sell. Some weeks, she travels to TX to see her husband while at other times, he makes the journey up here. They are anxious for their home here to sell so that she can finally move to TX, join her husband in finding a permanent place to live, a church to join & simply be back together as a couple. Yet, they wait.

I’ve another friend who is desperately wishing to return to Asia for ministry. Yet, circumstances here prevent him from doing so. So, he waits.

As I was reading my Bible this morning, I came across the verse at the opening of this entry & they spoke to me greatly. I have determined that even though I may not “want” to be where I am, God has chosen to keep me here. The All Sovereign God that I have great faith in is fully capable of wiping away my financial debt & providing me with the ability to board the first plane out to Nepal if He so chooses. At this time, it would appear that He has a plan for my being here. My prayer has been for contentment, that I, like the Apostle Paul, would learn to be content no matter what my state & that I would obey 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 “1Thess 5:16-18 16 Rejoice always, 17 pray without ceasing, 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." This verse does not tell us that that we are to rejoice sometimes, pray at set times or give thanks when things are going the way we want to. No, even when I would much rather be in Nepal, I'm to rejoice. I am to pray continually & be grateful always. As I reflect back to the passage in Jeremiah, I'm encouraged by these words in a commentary I read & I pray this will be true of me.How can I not be excited for Our Lord's Name to be glorified?!

Oh what a gracious and loving God we serve! When we are experiencing difficult times and He is where we confidently place our trust, He becomes our trust, our security, and He places us in a refreshing place where we firmly stay, not afraid or worried in our struggle. Rather, we are nourished, all the while producing fruit for His kingdom. Fellow Christians are edified, while the unsaved are witnessed to, by the peace He imparts to us in the midst of our struggle. All the more, God's holy name is glorified.h.

Asking for Thought to Be Used On April Fool's Day

First let me state that no, I am not pregnant & no, I am not participating in an April Fool's Day joke to claim that I am. I remember expressing my displeasure with such a joke a few years ago & today, I find myself doing so again. I have seen countless individuals posting things all over Facebook about how they went to the store today to buy a test & learned that they will no longer be a family of 2 but of 3, their "only" child will now have a sibling, etc. All of these implying that they are "expecting". I have seen so many of these that I would probably not even be able to count how many. While I like a good prank & am all for good times & fun, I think it's wise to remember that some jokes, though not intended to hurt others, bring about great pain. How could such a joke be an issue?

Less than 2 years ago, a good friend of mine suffered an Ectopic Pregnancy in which she lost her baby. She & her husband have been trying to conceive for quite a while & she just learned within the last couple of weeks that she has cysts on her Fallopian Tubes. The doctor told her that she may never be able to have a child. She was told that IVF may be her only hope. She has shed many tears over the thought of not being able to conceive & give birth to a little baby & even more so knowing that she does not have thousands of dollars for IVF. She would give anything to get pregnant & give birth to a child. While she celebrates with other women who learn they are expecting, she smiles when she sees babies around; she also cries when no one is looking because she longs to be a mom.

She is just one example. For years after they married, my cousin & his wife were badgered by many in our family (including myself) about having kids. After many years, they were prepared to go to a meeting on adoption when they learned they were pregnant. It was only then that we discovered that all of those years, they had been trying to conceive but were unable to. Each time someone mentioned it to them, it was like stabbing them with a knife & twisting it. I learned then that I would never again do such as we never know what people are going through. Their greatest desire was to be parents & yet, for so long, it was not happening.

Now, I consider my own life. After my strokes & heart surgery, I learned that I have a gene mutation that causes my blood to be more prone to clotting (thus the reason for my strokes). At that time, I was informed that because of these mutation, conceiving may be very difficult for me & should I conceive, my pregnancy would be considered high-risk. For those with this gene mutation, conceiving is difficult & miscarrying is common. I never would have thought such would bother me but when I heard those words; it was rough. I am thankful to be marrying a man who will love me regardless & I'm even more thankful for a faith that goes beyond what doctors say.N.P. & I trust that if it is God's will for me to one day carry a child, He will make that happen. All things are in His Hands. Still, that all being said...it does not change the fact that there are many ladies whose hearts are aching for motherhood & yet, for whatever reasons, it has not happened. I think there is a time for joking & things to kid about. Not my intention to scold anyone who has taken part in trying to pull one over on someone with this particular joke today but just encourage you to really think about things first. For those that know me, my sarcasm is not surprising. However, there are times when I have really damaged relationships/people with my words. Over the years, I've tried to think more about what I am saying as I never wish to hurt someone - I pray I show love. I definitely want to be one showing love to those ladies out there whose hearts are aching to be mom's. I know that to joke about something they desperately desire is not the way to go. While you may never have thought about it, there may be someone on your friend's list who is like me, my cousin & his wife or my friend. Today, when they saw you joking about something they wish would happen in their life -( to take a pregnancy test & get a positive result, to go for an ultrasound & to hear a heartbeat, to experience morning sickness, to see their belly grow as their baby develops, to go shopping for baby clothes/furniture/diapers, & to give birth to a little bundle of joy) - tears may have streamed down their face. Just a thought.