Better to Have a Broken Heart?

Working with the public, I hear anything & everything. People seem to feel an openness to share their entire lives with us regardless as to whether or not it's something we need to know or even care to know. From time to time though, individuals do bring about conversations with us that are pleasant, comical or leave us wondering a lot. Today I experienced such. A man a year younger than myself (for those asking how old I am, I'm 30...there, I said it!) came in & presented both cash & checks for deposit. One of my coworkers rushed up to begin speaking with him. Evidently, the two of them went way back. The money going into his account was given to he & his fiance' at a recent bridal shower. On October 17th, he will become a married man. As he & my coworker talked there at my station, I was obviously privy to everything that was being said. My coworker was asking him how he found the place that the reception was going to be held at. After telling her all about it, he then informed her that when her oldest son "finds the one", he should look into renting the same place for his wedding reception. The two then began to discuss her son's broken heart. After dating a girl for a couple of years, the girl had broken up with him. His mom seemed to think that he may finally be over the girl. At this point, the young man told her that he believes that no one should ever get married until they've first had their heart broken. He spoke of dating many girls & giving no thought to dumping them back in the day. He said that after ditching so many girls, he was finally the dumpee once & his heart was crushed. He then realized what it felt like & that he caused a lot of pain to a lot of girls. Upon this realization, he said he called every girl he had dumped carelessly in the past & offered them a heartfelt apology. Because he had been through heartbreak himself, now he was able to love & appreciate the one he was in love with. Call me crazy but I think it will be just fine with me should God bless me with the love of my life without my having to bawl my eyes out & sit in misery over someone that has decided to trample all over my heart. Have I been in love yet? No. There was someone that I think I probably believed I loved at a point in time in my life but those feelings were not returned (after a few years, God has shown me that though a great guy, he would not have been good for me). I have had interest in many wonderful guys but they have never expressed interest in me past friendship. While that can be disappointing at times, I've not been devastated over it. No matter how much I may desire someone, I realize ultimately that God is in control & I'm better off letting Him lead. As most are aware, I've yet to be in a serious relationship. Therefore, I've not had my heart broken. Some may say this is a bad thing. I, on the other hand, see this as God watching over me & protecting me from hurt & pain. So, while this fella today feels everyone needs to have their heart broken, I think I'm going to disagree. I don't consider myself a prideful person but I can honestly say that I am proud that, with God's help, I have kept my heart guarded & that still to this day, the only hands I have placed my heart in are those of the hands of my loving Jesus, who will never break my heart. I trust that I will one day (Lord-willing) be rewarded for my patience in waiting on God's man for me. Then, in that moment, will I share my heart with another.

Dweeb to Dancer

In just a while, I will turn the channel on the TV over to ABC to watch the season premier of Dancing With the Stars. While I had heard of the show, I failed to watch the first couple of seasons assuming that dancing would be of no interest to me. I don't recall why I finally tuned in to the program. I only know that when I did give it a chance, I was roped in. To see those that have had no previous dance experience (for the most part) attempt to rise to the level of professionals is not only humorous at times but riveting. When speaking of sports or athletes, most of us would mention things like baseball, basketball, boxing, Tiger Woods, Eli Manning, Albert Pujols and the list goes on. I can't say that I've ever heard anyone spout off the names Cheryl Burke, Derek Hough or any other ballroom dancer when talking about sports. Until watching the program, I never in a million years would have thought dancing could be so physically demanding. I've been a fan of the show now for several years & each time I watch, I see the endurance that the dancers must have as well as the strength required for the dances. Truly, dancing is not for wimps or sissies. Hysterical it has been to watch big ole' boys like Warren Sapp step on to the dance floor & admit that dancing ain't easy....it's hard work. I don't need to tell anyone that I've no coordination--we all know that. I've no rhythm. I can't dance. Yet, each time I watch the show, there's a piece deep inside of me that longs to be able to glide across the floor doing the Vienesse Waltz, rage with the bull in the Paso Doble or trot smoothly doing the Foxtrot. In all reality, I know such will never happen. I'm simply far too clumsy to even try to dance. Yet, I can dream. I never went to a school dance & that's fine with me. I've never gotten up to dance at a wedding reception & I even managed to talk my best friend out of having a bridal party dance at her wedding because I (her Maid of Honor) did not want to have to dance. I am not the girl that longs to be held in the arms of my loved one for a first dance (or any dance) at my wedding reception (should I ever marry) & I can only hope that if the Lord blesses me with a mate, that gentleman will not want to dance before a roomful of people. Perhaps, one day, we can just jive across the kitchen together. Anyway...here's to another season of dancing hopefuls. I'll soon make my prediction as to who I think will take home the infamous Mirror Ball Trophy at the end of the competition.

Teach Me O, Lord

Been quite some time since my last entry...apparently I've not seen the importance of recording my thoughts. Days have been busy & I have been tired. The last 5-6 months have proved to be a bit of a roller coaster ride for me. I've allowed myself to get my hopes set high only to see them come crashing down. Disappointment has set in. I've anticipated much & in doing so, been let down. Throughout these times, I've been reminded repeatedly of James' words: " Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have it's perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." - James 1: 2-3 While every step of this journey has taught me something, my prayer is that first & foremost, I would allow God to use every moment to mold me more into His image. When the tears want to stream down my face, may I remember that my Heavenly Father has my best interest at heart & as much as I would like things my way & in my timing, His plans for my life will always be better. Lord, help me to wait patiently, trust wholly & be joyful always.