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Saturday, March 3, 2012

Hope in the Darkest of Times

Imagine: You have left the cold, wintry weather of the Midwest U.S. & spent a week in the warm sun making memories to last a lifetime. You've soared through the sky on a zip-line, fed monkeys while out on a boat tour, inhaled the sulfur of a volcano, been introduced to new foods, shopped for hours at a local market, stayed in a breath-taking home, swam nearly everyday in an infinity pool & so much more. To top things off, during this week; you've witnessed one of the most beautiful weddings ever. Your sister has just married the love of her life. You stood beside her as her witness & later, you all danced & partied like crazy. Sadly, it is now time for you to leave this place that you've enjoyed so much. Even more difficult, leaving those that you've grown to love in just a few short days. Before the sun is even up, you & your family are in your rental van headed to the airport to begin your journey back to the U.S. You're tired from a long week so you fall asleep in the back seat. Suddenly, you are awakened by the sounds of tires squealing & the vehicle coming to a screeching halt. Those in the vehicle with you are screaming & crying. As you open your eyes, you see a body in mid-air that lands in the grass beside you. You realize something horrific has just taken place. Sounds like a plot for a movie doesn't it? Americans...a foreign country...something bad happens...they go to jail.

The story you just read is a true story. The story above is not some made up tale that I just wrote or found while surfing the web. Those words are my words; the story of my time in Nicaragua 2012. After an incredible time with my family in Nicaragua, we were headed back to Managua from Masaya at 4:30 a.m. on the morning of Monday, January the 23rd when something unexpected occurred. A 28 year old man was riding his bicycle in the center of the road & as my Dad (driving) came upon him (remember...it was 4:30 a.m. so the sun was not yet out. I might also add that there were no lights on this road nor did the bicyclist have any reflectors on the bike), my Dad swerved to keep from hitting him. As my Dad did so, the bicyclist swerved in the exact same direction. Within seconds, our van had made contact with his body. While each of us in the vehicle may have something different to tell (some saw the entire accident, some kept their eyes closed the entire time, etc.), my account is that which is written above. As I sat in the backseat of the van & looked back behind me to my left, I could see a body & could see blood. Haley's husband, Jesus', got out of the vehicle immediately & went to check on the man. We knew that even though Jesus' said he was still breathing in that moment, it was unlikely that he would make it --especially if no medical help arrived. As one can imagine, emergency services are much different in a third-world country than here in America. There is no "911" in Nicaragua. You can't just call & expect that within minutes, help will arrive. Jesus' immediately called his uncle & asked his uncle to go get help. Unfortunately, by the time help (paramedics) arrived, it was too late; the young man had already passed away. After several hours, we (me, my mom, my uncle & my cousin) found ourselves sitting outside of the Police Station in Masaya, Nicaragua while my sister & Jesus' found themselves sitting inside a room at the station with my Dad as Haley played translator while my Dad was being questioned. The day was, by far, the most exhausting & frightening days I've experienced in my life to date as I was not only deeply saddened about the life lost but fearful wondering what was going to happen to my father. Would my dad go to jail? When would he get to come back to the states? Would he be able to come back to the states? As the day progressed, things did not get any easier. In fact, things only grew more difficult. Thankfully, after a trip back to the accident site for a re-enactment, the police determined that the accident was just that - an accident. The reconstruction confirmed that there was absolutely nothing that my Dad (or anyone for that matter) could have done to have avoided hitting this young man. Everything showed that the bicyclist was at fault. By sunset, my Dad finally was allowed to come outside & since he was obviously not a threat to anyone, the police allowed him to leave with us though his passport & driver's license was still in their possession. He was told he would not get any of those things back & be allowed to leave Nicaragua until the case was closed. A number of things had to take place before the case would be closed though. Relieved to be leaving the station & to be doing so with our Dad with us, we left. We did so with the orders that we must remain in Masaya & not go outside of the city. We found a hotel & Haley's "Honeymoon from Hell" (as my dad has called it & suggested she write a book by that title) began. Having experienced such a traumatic event, Jesus' (Haley's husband) felt that it was very important that we all stick together & vital that they not leave us as we would be unable to communicate if anyone needed to speak to us. So, as newlyweds, Haley & Jesus' 2nd night of marriage was spent sleeping in a room with their family. Not ideal. Though the rest of us were free to leave Nicaragua & could have caught a plane back to the U.S., none of us would ever have thought about leaving my Dad there by himself. After some sleep (not much; don't think anyone slept too well at that place), we were all hopeful that we would be on a flight the next day or Wed. at the latest. However, things began to spiral downward even more so when we learned Tuesday afternoon that we could not leave the hotel we were at due to the fact that the victim's family had located us. Unbeknownst to anyone other than Haley, Jesus' had spent the morning outside of our hotel room arguing with lawyers as the victim's family had sent lawyers demanding that our family give them a substantial amount of money. The police had been made aware of the situation & advised Jesus to instruct us that we should remain at the hotel & not just refrain from leaving there but also not go beyond a certain point on the property as people may see us & further problems could arise. After all that we had been through, we just wanted to go home. Being confined to such an area was only adding to our frustration. We had just learned that not only were we going to be there who knew how long but the hope of even venturing out on for food & to breathe was gone. The only encouragement was that my Dad was not sitting in a jail cell; he was with us. By Wednesday, we were really getting stir-crazy. Mom, Dad & I were sitting outside in the courtyard area when a couple sat down not too far away from where we were. My mom was ecstatic when she heard English & wasted no time inquiring as to where they were from. Within minutes, these "angels in disguise" were sitting with us. We learned they were American Missionaries from Oklahoma (actually, the lady was born here in Missouri). We spent several hours talking to them but never divulged any information regarding the accident. During our conversation, Nathan (the man) advised us to be very cautious out on the roads because the driving is crazy & if you don't watch it, you could end up hitting a bicyclist or someone out walking. I fought hard not to cry at that statement. Nathan had no idea what we had been through so he certainly was not saying that to hurt us. Yet, I think God allowed him to say that to us. Once Nathan & Melody left us, my parents & I began to talk. My Dad decided we would tell them what happened. All three of us felt that God had placed them there to minister to us. Later that evening, we called Nathan & Melody into our hotel room & my Dad shared with him what had taken place. Miles away from home...scared, tired, frustrated & discouraged; God sent this dear brother & dear sister in Christ to love on us. They spent time praying over us & offered to help in whatever ways they could. Over the course of just a few days, these "strangers" became friends that will never be forgotten & forever cherished & loved. Nathan & Melody have been traveling to Nicaragua for the last 8 years & have went several times a year to various parts of the country to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Yet, they said they had never just been "stationary" at a hotel as they were while we were there. We know that it was no accident that they were there at the same time as us & had nothing to do but sit around. God provided that...for us! We mentioned that we were longing for some ice cream. The next day, they gifted us with a huge bucket of Chocolate Ice Cream. The only stipulation was: we must share it with Melody! No problemo!

We spent hours that day swapping stories & laughing till it hurt nearly. Nathan & Melody's being there was a breath of fresh air to us. Specifically, for me. Not only did we have a great time giggling but I thoroughly enjoyed talking to Nathan about my desire to go overseas to Nepal or India. I appreciate the advice & wisdom he offered me from his time as a pastor & now as a missionary. The time we spent with Nathan & Melody was invaluable. Later that night, Nathan & Melody asked my parents if it would be OK if my cousin & I joined them for dinner. We had not left the hotel at all & because neither of us were probably the ones that would be under attack, everyone felt it would be safe for us to go with them. Lisa & I were grateful at the opportunity to travel with them just a mile or so away to eat some traditional food for the evening. I remember saying to Lis, "Wow, it's nice to know that life does exists outside of that hotel." What a precious, thoughtful treat that was that Nathan & Melody gifted us with. On Friday morning, my Dad was expected to be at the police station for the ending of the case. Of course, Haley also had to go as did Jesus'. My cousin ended up needing to go as well. My mom & I were left back at the hotel when a bus of 100+ Panamanians arrived for their stay. I quickly realized: we had just lost our hotel room. Frantically, we tried to find a solution as to what to do with all of our stuff. Again, our angels were there for us. While Nathan was gone for the day, Melody's quiet day to herself was interrupted by us as she kindly allowed us to drag ALL of our belongings into their room. Mom & I sat there with her for a few hours as we awaited the return of everyone else in hopes that we would be heading to the airport. By nearly 1:00 p.m., everyone had come back, my Dad had been cleared, the case was closed & he had been given his passport & driver's license back. We were ready to book it to the airport in hopes of getting on the next flight out to Miami. And...we did. We all made it on the flight (with the exception of Haley who was not scheduled to return until the following day; Saturday) & I was more eager to be on a plane back to America than I ever had been. The flight from Miami back to St. Louis seemed to last longer than my flights from to/from Taiwan. Of course, they don't even begin to compare in distance but it felt as though the plane was never going to land. We finally arrived back in St. Louis at around 11:00 p.m. Friday evening & were greeted by many of our extended family members. Just as we were dealing with a lot, our family back here in the states were too as they were gravely concerned. What a relief it was to them when they finally saw us heading their way & they could embrace us each. Which, that brings us to now...

A little over a month has passed & we still are trying to cope with the events of that day. Few can understand the thoughts that run through our head, the emotions we experience or anything we've been through. I wish no one ever would have to but I know that every day, somewhere, someone does. While we are so sad for the life that was lost, our faith in Jesus is carrying us through. Once my Dad was released to go to the hotel with us, my Dad began the "what-if" game. He said, "What if we would have went the other way?", "What if we would have left 2 minutes earlier?" I finally said, "Dad, we can't play that game. What has happened has happened & we can't change that." I also realized that as hard as it was (& still is at times) for us to understand why this happened, we believe God's Word to be true. Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a (The Bible) says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. A time to be born, a time to die." Nothing can change the fact that 28 years ago, God allowed that young man to be born to his mother & that January 23, 2012 was his appointed time of death. For reasons we may never comprehend (though, I've got a few ideas), God allowed us to be in the vehicle that ultimately led to the fulfillment of that young man's appointed death date. The knowledge that the latter is the case is sad. Yet, it was an accident & that fact does help to ease the sorrow somewhat. Though I've, for years, been aware of the frailty of life; this confirmed it even more so. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. We're not guaranteed that our hearts will continue beating 5 minutes from now. James 4:14 states that "You are just a vapor that appears for a little while & then vanishes away." The Bible continues in Psalm 39:4-7

4 “Show me, LORD, my life’s end
and the number of my days;

let me know how fleeting my life is.
5 You have made my days a mere handbreadth;
the span of my years is as nothing before you.
Everyone is but a breath,
even those who seem secure.[b]

6 “Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom;
in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth
without knowing whose it will finally be.

7 “But now, Lord, what do I look for?
My hope is in you.

As a Christian, I believe that when my time on Earth is finished, I will spend eternity in heaven with Jesus Christ. I will do so not because of anything I have done (for it is not something one can earn) but only because of all Jesus has done for me. Though this was a tragedy & we still have days of difficult moments as we try to move forward (for example, I was driving in downtown St. Louis a week ago & was stopped at a Red Light when a couple of guys walked in front of my car. I was fine. However, when the light turned green & I moved my foot onto the accelerator & began to go, another guy darted out on front of me & I had to hit the brakes. My heart was racing & frankly, it terrified me. I was scared knowing what could have happened & the image of the young man in Nicaragua came forth), God has (& will continue to) brought good from the situation. In the days following the accident, Romans 8:28 became a verse I would cling onto. Though a familiar verse to most Christians, the words became very real to me "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose". Truly, God has worked "all things" (even in the case of something so terrible) for good. Not only did God bless us richly with the presence of Nathan & Melody, Jesus' family surrounded us with unconditional love & support every single day. Had it not have been for the accident, we would have left Nicaragua having only spent a few brief hours with them at the wedding. We would not have known them. Jesus' brother, sister, nieces, nephew, cousin & uncle came to visit us often & several missed much work in order to be of assistance to our family. Due to the time we spent with them, we (especially our mom) were able to see what wonderful people they are. There is no question that Haley has married into a tremendous family. My parents have the comfort of knowing that when Haley returns to Nicaragua one day permanently, she will be well-taken care of. The tragedy that occurred brought 2 families together as one. Jesus' & Haley's lives were united but so were our families. This event brought to the forefront the reminder that life is short & I've been given a new urgency to share how Christ has changed my life & that He offers the same hope to anyone else who desires it. I had someone recently say, "Your family sure has been through a lot over the course of the last year...with your dad, now this." Yes, it is a lot. However, we get through because our hope is found in Jesus & He provides us with all that we need. Even in the midst of hardships, we still give Jesus praise.

I ask you to continue to pray for our family. Pray for my uncle in Alabama as unlike the rest of us, he is back home & does not have anyone nearby that was present at the accident. Pray for each of us as we each deal with this in a different manner & we all have our moments of struggles. Please pray for God to comfort the hearts of the victim's family & friends. Our hope is that through this, God will use us to share our story & share of His love & goodness...the Hope of His Son, Jesus Christ. For those that have questions or want to talk, please feel free to speak to myself or one of my family members. If we cry, please be patient with us & forgiving...this is still a situation that is difficult. Even so, we wish to share it.