Baby Zeke Is Coming Soon!

At times, it almost seems surreal to me that I’m going to have a baby in less than 3 months. In fact, it’s still hard for me to even believe I’m pregnant. Yet, the fact that I am going to the bathroom a lot, have an aching back, frequent heartburn, an ever-growing belly & swollen feet serve as a great reminder. Not to mention, Zeke’s moving all about within me leaves no doubt. Words cannot begin to describe the incredible feeling to have this little man kicking. I now find myself looking down often to “see” him moving. Each time, tears begin to well up.

Psalm 139 is a passage we’ve all heard time & time again. However, it has become that much more profound to me as the weeks pass by & we go in for the ultrasounds to see our son.

¹³ For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
¹⁴ I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

We know not what his skin tone, hair or eye color will be (though we have guesses & assumptions), nor how much he will weigh, how tall he’ll be. We do know though, that Our Creator, God, is making him wonderfully. As we’ve seen his tiny body begin to grow & his cute little fingers uncurl from his hands being in a ball, we have watched in utter awe. As we watch each part of his body being measured & his heart beating, we know that this is the marvelous work of Our Lord. Even though there have been a few (& praise God it has just been a few…I thank Him for that) bad days, being pregnant & experiencing this wonder is by far, one of the best experiences I’ve had in life to date. The love I have for Zeke already is a love that is unlike any other. There is a desire to do anything & everything to protect this child & I’m sure that will only grow in the months & years to come. Daily, I’m gaining more of an insight into God’s great love for us, His children as I prepare to a parent myself.

Some of you asked if we wanted a boy or a girl. While N.p. did have a preference (& he’s getting it), I did not. True, we would be happy regardless of gender as long as the baby is healthy, I had a number of people that told me they thought I was better suited for a boy. After consideration, I think they may be right. You know me. I’m not a real girly girl. I don’t envision myself having to put bows & ribbons in a little girls hair & look for pretty pink outfits every day. As I thought about myself as a teenager & I thought about girls in general, I associate girls with drama. Drama, drama, drama. I remember coming home from school or church mad at so & so because they liked the guy I liked. Tears that seemed as if they would never end. Oh my poor parents. How did they ever survive? Yep, I can deal without that for now. Who knows what the Lord has in store? Will he choose to bless us with more children in the future & if so, will there be a daughter (according to the ole’ wives tale of the pencil test, I’m slated for one more boy & that’s it)? Perhaps the Lord knows that I may be better with a boy to begin. So again, while we would have been thrilled to pieces either way, I’m happy we’re having a boy.

These last 6 months have flown by & soon, we’ll finally hold our son in our arms. Knowing the time is coming is both exciting & daunting as we think of how much there still is to do. I’ve had one baby shower & the outpouring of love was overflowing. Fortunately, we have most of the necessities. The nursery is nowhere near complete. The walls have been painted but new carpet will be installed & once that is done, the crib can be brought in as well as a storage unit, rocker glider, etc. My sister can then work her magic (she’s volunteered to decorate Zeke’s room. Since I have 0 artistic abilities or knowledge of interior design, I’m graciously allowing her to run with it). While there is much to think about, I’m really trying to enjoy my time with NP as much as possible before our family of 2 becomes a family of 3 & our lives change drastically (in a good way though!). Some of you have asked if there is anything we need or what you can do for us. Honestly, if you are wanting to give a gift…DIAPERS. LOTS & LOTS of DIAPERS! More than any gift money can buy, I ask for your continued prayers. My health has been great – no complications or issues thus far & Zeke is doing well too. Please pray that such would continue to be the case & that when the time comes, I would have a safe delivery & a healthy baby boy. Please pray that I will be well enough to continue working right up until Zeke’s birth. NP is still searching for a job so I definitely need to be working as much as I can be. Pray also that God would bring about employment for NP very soon. We are choosing to trust Him & know that He’ll provide. I am entitled to 12 weeks Maternity Leave but will only be paid for those that I have enough PTO to cover. By the time Zeke comes, that should be about 6 weeks. My intent is to be off the entire 12 weeks but financially, I’m not sure that such will be possible. Also, our plan has been that my mother would be taking care of Baby Zeke. For the last few months, she’s been battling gout & unable to even walk at times. Clearly, tending to the needs of an infant would be near impossible for her if this gout continues to take over. That being said, I now am having to begin looking for other options. Financially, that will eat away at us but emotionally, I’m having a hard time dealing with the thought of taking Zeke elsewhere. I know millions of moms do so but there is something about my son spending more time with someone other than a family member that bothers me. Knowing someone else would be bonding with him 8-11 hours a day over his mommy is difficult. Lastly, please pray that these remaining couple months as a couple will be a blessed time for us & that we may cherish our time together, growing in Christ as we await parenthood & hope to raise our son in the way of the Lord.

The Impossible Made Possible Through Him

After my strokes in 2007, I learned that I had a gene mutation making my blood prone to clotting. At that time, I received some news that was not easy for me to absorb. Those with this particular gene mutation, generally have a hard time conceiving & if they do conceive, their pregnancies usually result in miscarriages. What I gathered from that was that I might never be able to have children. I was told that should I ever conceive, I would be high-risk & would need to see a high-risk OBGYN (perinatologist) immediately.

Fast forward 5 years to the moment I knew that God was leading N.P. & I to marry one another. I shared with him the news that I had been given in regards to the likelihood that I'd never have kids. I told him that if having children was of utter importance to him, I might not be the girl for him. His response was, "Whether the Lord chooses to bless us with children or not, we will say Blessed be the Name of Our Lord & praise Him." I LOVED his response. However, that did not stop me from having such concerns again. Even the week before our wedding, I was bawling like a baby one night to him saying, "What if I can never give you a child?" He reminded me of that which he had said before as well as the fact that God is in control & that though the doctors may say one thing, that does not mean that is what will be.

Here we are, 3 months into our marriage & astounded by His marvelous work. As God has had to do with me time after time, He's again calling me to have faith & trust Him. That which I thought was most likely impossible, He is making possible. After having some symptoms of pregnancy, I took an at-home test on May 31st. To say I was surprised when the test came back positive would be an understatement. I figured I was probably wasting my money on the test because, after all, it should be hard for me to get pregnant & N.P. & I had only been married for a little over a month. I was stunned. Knowing that there was a possibility that the test could be wrong, right away I made an appointment with my doctor. They got me in within days & the blood tests confirmed that indeed, I was pregnant. Question was, was the pregnancy within the uterus. A week later, N.P. & I went for my first ultrasound & tears streamed down my face when all of a sudden, there appeared OUR baby. Now, almost 11 weeks along & after 3 ultrasounds, Baby Sharma is looking great - growing as he/she should.

Though our child is not even the size of a lime & I cannot feel him/her moving yet, God has already given me a profound love for this baby. Never thought anything could move me like this has. Each time an ultra-sound is done & our baby appears on the screen, I'm weeping in amazement at this little miracle. N.P. & I covet your prayers. Many of you may wonder...what about my health? I am high-risk & therefore, must visit the perinatologist every 2 weeks for the time being. Closer to the due date, I will have to go once a week. While I have been taken off of my blood-thinners, I must inject myself with a shot daily to help thin my blood as during pregnancy, blood clots can be even more likely. My irregular, rapid heartbeat is being monitored too as that could also effect the baby. Please pray for the health of our sweet little one that God is growing within me as well as my health. Obviously, at 11 weeks (tomorrow), we are still not out of the concerning time period. And, anything could happen at anytime. However, we are trusting that God is protecting our little one & has great things in store for this life.

While "our" plans may have included thinking of children down the road (a year from now or so), clearly, God has other plans for us. We know that His plans are ALWAYS greater too. We choose to trust Him through this exciting time & know that He will give us all we need to move into the role as not just marriage partners but parents as well. We're ecstatic over God's goodness to us & we can't quit smiling. Now, if you'll excuse me...must return to our baby name discussion. I've managed to rule out Barnabas & Bartholomew. Yep, someone (actually, a lot of people) seems to think this baby is a boy. Girl or boy, we'll love the child just the same. To God be all the glory!

The Road Ahead

April 12th was picture perfect. Roughly 70 something degrees, sun shining with not a cloud in sight & the day we’d prayed about for so very long had finally arrived. Our wedding could not have been any better. Those I love surrounded me & the man my heart adores became my husband. By now, most of you have probably seen pictures (still awaiting the ones from the professional photographer). If not, let me know…we’ll get them to you or tell you how to access them! We did not have time to talk in depth to anyone at the wedding & the most popular question we had that day & are still being asked is regarding our plans now, how long we’ll be here in the U.S. & so forth. Most of you don’t know where we’re headed at this time so here it is: After prayerful consideration & discussions with others, we have come to a mutual agreement that we should pursue a Green Card. You may be wondering why so when the plan has not been to remain here in the U.S. While obtaining the Green Card would not only allow N.P. to stay here longer & familiarize himself more with American culture, it would also enable him to come back here should we return to Nepal & need to get back here quickly in the case of an emergency. Without the Green Card, if we were living in Nepal & an emergency arose, he would have to apply for a travel visa (which, he was denied once in 2012). Not only would there be no time to do so but the cost of having to do this a number of times would outweigh the overall cost of the Green Card. I have been in contact with numerous Immigration Attorneys getting their fees & while I’m overwhelmed (we both are) by the cost & wonder where we will get the money, every part of our relationship has been orchestrated, brought about by God, involved a lot of faith & I trust He’ll supply all we need for this as well. In talking to the attorneys, their time quotes vary – roughly, 3-12 months on average to obtain the Green Card. During this application process, N.P. will be unable to leave the U.S. as doing so forfeits the application. Once we begin, he must stay here until the Green Card is granted. Within an estimated 90 days of filing for the Green Card, N.P. “should” receive his SSN & permit to work. Until then, he cannot work for pay (so, if anyone needs a volunteer to help with something; specifically ministry focused, let me know!). Meanwhile, I will continue on at the credit union although, as of May 1st, I will move into the position of Lead Teller. [Heather Wood] What about ministry? We are praying & seeking the Lord’s guidance, wisdom & direction. We know of a particular opportunity that we “may” have but also want to be open to where the Lord wants us to be. Currently, N.P. is attending church with me at my church home, First Baptist Harvester. Upon meeting the Pastor, Bob Ingle, N.P. loved him. Once he heard him preach for the first time, N.P. loved him even more. As pastors, they have much in common & we could not be any happier being a part of the flock at Harvester. However, if God wills for us to be elsewhere to serve, we want to be obedient to that. If we may ask you to pray for some things: - Pray that we would trust the Lord to provide what is needed financially for the Green Card process (attorney fees, filing fees, etc.) - Pray that the process would move quickly & smoothly. - Pray that N.P. may be granted the work permit even sooner than expected so that he can begin to look for work. - Pray for N.P. as he continues to adjust to a new place, new people, new food, new EVERYTHING! - Pray for our marriage that we might continue to grow closer to one another & that our marriage may be made stronger for the Glory of Christ each day. - Pray that God would guide us as to where He desires us to be as far as a church home/place to serve Him. - Pray for continued good health for us both – specifically N.P. though (I am in the process of getting him added to my health insurance). We are so very grateful to each of you that took time out of your busy schedules to come share in our special day (for those that were not able to, we are working on trying to get the wedding video uploaded so we may post in on Facebook for your viewing). We hope that as we were blessed, so were you too. We thank you for your ongoing prayer support. If we may pray for you, please let us know!

I'm Getting Married!!

This afternoon, my brother (of course, not my biological brother as I do not have any of those but still...I count him as my brother), came by for a brief visit. As he was leaving, he told me to have fun these last 3 days as a free woman. Granted I am not getting married on Wednesday, I do not have feel as though I'm going to be bound in chains & misery once N.P. arrives here nor after our marriage. My life (& N.P.'s) is about to change drastically. When I think of the many changes headed our way, I do not view them as chores, duties & drudgery. No, I think of getting to be married to him, getting to serve him & care for him as a honor, a privilege & a blessing from the very One who has given him to me. I write now because I know I will have no spare moment to do so before the wedding.

Almost seems surreal that in 3 short days, I will be at the airport picking up my future husband & in the coming days, we'll be busy getting everything prepared for our wedding day. There was a time in life when I questioned whether or not I'd ever see such a day. I've shared before but will do so again...I did not date in high school, I did not date after high school. I had interests but it was never mutual with any guy. I went on a few dates in my mid-20's & each was short-lived. One date was all it took for me to know that to continue on would be a waste of my time, their time & above all, the Lord's time. I was not interested in dating just to date or seeing someone just for the sake of having a boyfriend. My belief from a young age had been that if I were to date, it was with the purpose of marriage in mind. If I could not envision the guy as a potential mate for the future, no need in continuing on. My standards have always been high & I've never been willing to compromise on them. When others would tell me that I was too picky, I kept going back to the same thing.."I will not settle. I will not take less than God's best for me. When I stand at the altar one day to say 'I do' to someone, it will be for life. It will not be I do just until you make me mad a few months in & then I'm leaving you. No, I do means forever." I've been through the phase of watching the majority of my friends marry & have children by now. I'd sit on the sideline longing, praying, wishing & hoping - never willing to just give in for temporary happiness though. Thankful that through poor decisions, God's hand of protection was upon me leading me to do that which was right. Wait. Trust. Pray.

To marry at 34 is a bit unusual here in the U.S. I believe. Most, marry when they are younger. Obviously, that was not the Lord's plan for my life. In His good & perfect timing, He has not only allowed N.P. & I to meet & grow in love in the strangest of ways but He is bringing N.P. to me very soon. Wedding preparations have been taking place rapidly & yes, I'm tired. Invitations have been mailed out. My best pal has hired someone to play my favorite instrument at the wedding.My longtime friend is set to sing. The cake has been picked out as well as the flavor(s). My aunts are working on tabletop decorations. The florists has been paid & will do a fantastic job with the flowers I'm sure. The guys have been fitted for their tuxes. My bridesmaids have their dresses. Everything is getting done. As I have tried my dress on & looked at myself in the mirror, I've envisioned the look upon N.P.'s face when he sees me come into view as I walk down the aisle. I am not a girly girl. I do not like getting dressed to the nine & being wined & dined at fancy restaurants. That's not who I am. No, I am the girl happy to wear jeans, a t-shirt & eat relaxed at a burger joint. Yet, I'm hoping that on our wedding day, I'll look my very best & that N.P. will be blown away by, yes, outward beauty that day (thankfully for me, he finds me beautiful all days regardless as to how I look. In fact, he's asked before why I put make-up on & said I don't need that stuff). I know that most likely, some kind of glitch will occur during the day. That does not & will not matter. What will matter is that at the end of the day, I will be Mrs. Narayan Prasad Sharma. Though we want a beautiful wedding ceremony & pray that Christ is glorified in all that is said & done, our prayer is that in the days, weeks, months & years that follow; Christ would cause our love for one another to grow & flourish even more so. Our prayer as a couple is that He would use our marriage to be a reflection of His love to a lost & dying world.

So, as N.P. will arrive in just a few days & April 12 quickly approaches, I once again give thanks to God for His amazing son, N.P. Thank You, Father, for blessing me with this man who is passionately pursuing you & will lead me & our future family to do the same. Lord, please grant safe travels as N.P. makes his way here this week. Put a hedge of protection around him as he comes. May he be in good health & well-rested. Lord, may these days leading up to the wedding be a very special time for relationships & friendships to blossom between N.P. & so many. God, we ask You to be at the center of everything we do & who we are as individuals & as we become one. Lord, use us as You see fit. Thank You for the love You have given us which in turn, allows us to love one another. Continue to let these weeks of preparation & planning go smoothly but let not our eyes be turned away from You. May we say, "Blessed be the Name of Our Lord." Amen.