Deja vu

I made my way to Barnes Hospital today for my CT-Scan & before I left, my mom asked me what a CT-Scan was. I thought I knew but apparently, I had forgotten. I arrived, went to registration & got all the paperwork filled out, my ID bracelet on & then got settled in my seat in the waiting room in hopes that it would not take forever for me to get called back. As I sat there, it hit me...the majority of my testing for my stroke was done on February 11, 2007. It was on Feb. 9th that I began experiencing symptoms but did nothing. On Feb. 10th, my symptoms continued on & I went to the ER. After a CT-Scan showed nothing, I was taken by ambulance to big Barnes downtown. I did not arrive down there until after midnight I believe & my MRI was in the early hours of Sunday, the 11th. I began to think...how ironic is it that 2 years later to the very day, I would be back at the hospital having one of the same test done? Anyway, they took me back & I was surprised to see this machine (pictured above). I was not scared, worry or concerned. I remembered having been in one several times before but for some reason, I was thinking of something different. I climbed up on the thing to lay down & in I went. The tech pressed the button that sent the upper portion of my body in the machine to get a scan of my sinus cavities. While I laid there, it was like deja vu...seemed as if I'd done it all before. Could that be because I had? I guess after so many different tests--CT-Scans, MRI's, X-Rays, EKG's, etc. (I know I'm missing one) my mind just kind of forgot which one is which. While I praise God for the team of doctors & nurses I had 2 years ago, I am pleased that today's test was mild...not nearly as serious as those test which I faced a couple of years back. I'm wondering if it's bad that when I walk in I don't have to be told what to do though because I'm already familiar with the routine?!

ENT=CRY

Some of you are aware that I have been battling sinus infections as well as ear infections now for the last 2 1/2 months. While the pain from the ear infections has subsided, I've been unable to hear out of my right ear for the past couple of weeks. Fearing that putting things off any longer may lead to permanent hearing damage or loss, I finally put a call into an ENT Specialist & paid him a visit on Monday. He took a look & said that my ear was definitely infected & was rather bad. I had heard talk about some tube/probe that might go up my nose but I was thinking that perhaps that would not applicable to me. I guessed wrong. If you've had the procedure done, you understand where I am coming from in saying that it's miserable. If you don't recall it than you certainly have not had it because I can promise you that it is not forgettable. As this tube continued to climb into my nasal cavities, tears continued to pour from my eyes. I was NOT having a good time-AT ALL! Apparently, my right nasal cavity is so small that he could not even get a good look at it (which made me question why the heck he kept that tube up there if he couldn't see!). I owe that (my cavity being small) to my crooked nose thanks to hitting the concrete as a toddler after falling out of a shopping cart (I cracked my skull & apparently my nose-something like that). He wrote out an antibiotic for a sinus infection, a prescription for a nasal spray as well as ear drops. He gave me information to make a saline solution to "irrigate" my nose 2-3 times a day. I must go this coming Monday for blood tests to see if I have allergies. I went this afternoon for a CT-Scan of my sinus cavities. I will return to the doc on March 3 & he will then go over the results of my CT-Scan with me, see if I am better & try to figure out what is going on. If I am not better, he will then send me to an audiologist for special hearing tests most likely. I'm grateful to not be in any pain but I am so tired of not being able to hear fully. I feel so bad when others try to speak to me & I have to have them repeat what they are saying again & again..& louder just so I can kind of hear them. I'm driving my mother nuts as we watch t.v. & I ask her to turn it up some more while she thinks it's plenty loud as it is. I will say, I'm feeling worn down though...quite tired. The past 2 nights I've barely been able to make it through the t.v. programs I've been watching (including the Mizzou basketball game!). Actually, I've fallen asleep through both. Thankfully, today was my day off work for the week & until leaving for my CT-Scan a bit ago, I've just stayed here at the house relaxing-even took a nap. I'm now in prayer that all of these costly medications help & that I'll soon be able to breathe & even more importantly, hear.

What's A Gal To Do?

Today is February 8th...days away from Valentine's Day. For those that are happily in love, it is yet another day to express that love one to another (of course, I'm sure guys don't view it that way-they probably see it as a day to watch their wallets become less full of moolah). What about those of us that are single though? For our family, Valentine's Day has always been different anyway. My Sister, Haley, was born on Valentine's Day-nearly 27 years ago (for those trying to figure it out-1982). So, February 14th was never just a day for our parents to celebrate as just the two of them but the holiday was shared with celebrating the existence of my sister. For many years, we would go out to eat as a family on Valentine's Day. As many of you know, Valentine's Day is a rather busy time to get into restaurants though as all of the women expect their men to take them out for a nice meal. For those not yet married, the girl sits waiting anxiously anticipating a ring to be presented at the end of the meal. Yeah, yeah...see, I know the routine..I know how it goes. Well, after many long waits to get a table, my parents finally made the decision that we would no longer go out on Valentine's Day but we would instead, stay home & just have a birthday dinner for Haley. I can't recall the last time we ate out on Valentine's Day. This year, Haley will not be with us on the 14th. That leaves me & my date. Oh wait, I don't have a date. So, guess that means it will be me & the 'rents (evidently that's the young folks way of refering to their parents). I got a good chuckle this morning out of my friend Amy. I am in a Singles class at church & of course, most in the class, are single. Amy, like I, is single as well. She was sharing that her parents had invited her home for the upcoming weekend & though she had considered going, when she realized it would be Valentine's Day, she decided to stay at home. She said she would rather be alone than to go out to eat with her parents & have everyone in the restaurant looking at her saying, "Oh, that poor girl..she's by herself." Amy, I hear ya. I feel your pain. The question then is, what shall we do? Before I became active with the youth group at church, they would have a Valentine's banquet/dance (yes, a dance at a Baptist Church). Perhaps that's an idea. Maybe we could have a country square dance & swing our pardner's (yes, I meant to mispell that) round & round. Hey, if we did that...maybe we'd find someone we liked huh? All the single people gathering for a meal is out of the question because once again, your taken back to the problem of having to wait forever & a day for a table. Could we all go to the movies? Should we get together & have a counseling session where we discuss our singleness & use up every Kleenex box available to wipe away our tears of loneliness? I'm working here people trying hard to find a solution as to what we ought do! Seriously though, I am sure I will find something to do this coming Saturday but I hope that whatever I choose to do, I am mindful that I am loved not only by family & friends but by someone that will love me more than any man ever will--I'm loved by Jesus Christ. Jesus, sweep me off my feet day by day.

Incredible Pizza Incredibly Crazy

This afternoon, my family & I went to America's Incredible Pizza to celebrate my Cousin Ian's 11th b-day (a blog about Ian is on the way--keep on the lookout. I hope to have it written within the next week). The place just opened up here in the fall & though some of my family had visited there before, I had not. I had only heard about the place & knew that it was designed for kids. Upon our arrival in the parking lot, I was already dreading it--hundreds of rug rats...screaming, bouncing- off- the-walls everywhere. While I like kiddos, I like disciplined children, not those that are allowed to behave like wild animals. We approached the doors & I noticed an Icthus on the door. I questioned whether or not the establishment was Christian-owned. Once we finally made it in & through the line to pay for the buffet, I noticed a mission statement on the wall. I then had my answer--yes, it's Christian-owned. My aunt was telling me there were gospel tracts at the entrance placed for people to take. I thought it was wonderful to see that they had wholesome family movies playing as well as music videos from Christian groups/artists (MercyMe, Mark Schultz, etc.). We had several tables saved in one of the many dining areas & yet, just trying to make it to the food was a task as the place was so crowded. I can't say I liked the pizza as much as everyone else seemed to but it was not terrible. When we finished eating, we headed back to the game area where we spent a bit of time watching the kids play some of the games. Again, that area, was also packed. I knew walking in that such a place would not be the job for me. I believe to work there, would require much patience. Unfortunately, when it comes to curtain climbers, patience is not a virtue that I've fully developed.
In just my short time there today, I was already experiencing the stress of it all. I can't imagine walking into that place day in & day out. Though the trip there was alright, I think I would prefer to go for the lunch buffet in the middle of the week--while kids are in school. Perhaps that way, I would not have to worry about running into someone or some kid darting across nearly ramming into me while my hands hold my plate full of food. Even though the place was a bit too much for me (too crowded & noisy), I will definitely be willing to support the business due to the fact that it is owned by fellow believers who are seeking to offer a good, safe, clean, fun time for kids.

Is Honesty REALLY Always the Best Policy?

Have you ever had a moment when someone said something to you & in the back of your mind, you had not a clue what in the world they were talking about? I recently have had such a time. It seems a coworker of mine has been thoroughly enjoying an Italian beef sandwich of some sort & she keeps thanking me for that. Some time ago, I passed along a number of recipes to several of the ladies I work with. However, I have never made any type of Italian beef nor do I have a recipe for anything close to that. Yet, she has it in her head that this more than wonderful recipe came from me. She approached me one day & said, "Guess what I made?" I didn't have any idea so I asked. She told me she tried out the Italian beef recipe I gave her. She was eager to tell me that her extremely picky eating children just raved & raved about how good it was. In fact, they liked it so much that they now request it & when it's cooking, they don't want to wait until it's even done. She said her son, especially, races into the kitchen & tries to get his hands into the pot. She has mentioned this to me numerous times now. I've not had the heart to tell her that the recipe didn't come from me & that I don't have the faintest idea as to this recipe. Now, I will say, she brought this up again a few days ago. She shared that she had made it for the Super Bowl. Another coworker overheard the conversation & this lady began to fill her in on my winning beef. I finally said, "You know, I don't even remember that recipe." She then began to tell me how to make it. While it does sound good, I certainly have never tried it out. I wonder, do I say something or do I not? Funny huh? I recall years ago when my youth pastor, Ted, baptized me. Afterwards, Bro. Gary (our senior pastor at the time) would talk about baptizing me. Of course, in such a large church, I'm sure it would become hard to remember who you baptized & who you did not. Bro. Gary seemed to think he baptized me. As he would talk about it often times, I never did tell him that he was mistaken. Sometimes, I think it may be better to remain silent.

The Face I Keep Seeing

Having had mostly guy friends as a youth, I'm blessed to have developed some great friendships with females at my church home now. I have a few ladies that I really enjoy spending time with. One of which is my friend, Amy. After spending pretty much the entire day together on Saturday, Amy & I headed to the Bread Co. to chat on Saturday evening. While we were there, I looked out the window to see a man wearing several coats, carrying a few bags & he looked a little worn. I continued to look (stare really) at him. Eventually, Amy asked what was wrong. I told her I was looking at the man outside. She then looked to see & asked if perhaps he was homeless or something. I had been thinking such was probably the case. After a few minutes, he entered into the place. He got nothing more than a cup of water, put a lid on it & walked out carrying all of his belongings with him. Amy & I were at Bread Co. for a total of about 4 hours & I'm sure we were there a good hour + after this happened. For the rest of our time there, I kept thinking about that man. I told Amy that I doubted I would be able to get him off of my mind. I should have gotten up out of my seat & offered to buy him a meal. I didn't. I'm sickened with myself for seeing a need & doing absolutely nothing about it. Long after I got home, the situation weighed heavily on me--still is even though it's days later. I'm not sure why I did not move to help. I've worked with homeless individuals on several occasions & those times have been some of the most memorable, cherished times of ministry for me. Yes, I realize there are some people that are in that position because they refuse to work & they are just lazy. However, I know there are also a great many that have been left out in the cold after exhausting every last dime after trying to help a dying loved one out. They are in that state due to job loss. Many different reasons why but they are not all the stereotypical lazy bum. I am filled with compassion when I see someone out on the streets. I want to rush to help. I have a love for them. Has this always been the case? No, for sure not. Before I spent time with them myself, I had the same ideas about them that the majority of the world does. Now, I can hardly handle seeing them in such a state. Our family visited Seattle, WA in 2006 for vacation & I had an extremely hard time there as I saw many homeless persons. As we walked around, I kept a stash of snacks in my backpack. I deeply desired to share my food with them. My dad, however, kept me from doing so because of the fact that I did not have enough for everybody & since I did not, he was fearful that the lack of food for everyone could cause a problem. As I had to just pass them by, I fought the tears because I felt for them. My heart was saddened by what I was seeing. Again, I'm not sure why I did nothing Saturday night..not when it would have been so easy to help. I only know that I'm praying that next time, when given the opportunity, I will be Christ to that man, woman, boy or girl.

The Steelers Stole the Show

For the past however many years, I've joined my family at my aunt & uncle's house for the "big game." Tonight, things changed. After being invited to watch the Super Bowl with friends from church, I decided that perhaps it was time to switch things up a bit & go join the church group. I headed to my friend Stan's home to watch the game & I was looking forward to it-the game that is (not that I was not looking forward to the company I'd be surrounded by). Since I have, in recent years, begun to take interest in football, I was eager for the game itself. I will go ahead & admit that if were not for Kurt Warner being the QB for the Cardinals, I really would not have cared who won (then again, I still probably would have desired for AZ to win simply because I prefer their uniforms over the Steelers!). I picked up a plate & piled all kinds of delicious foods onto it & headed down the steps to see the action begin. I was not really enjoying the game until the Cardinals pulled ahead. Even when they did, I knew that with 2:35 (something like that) left to go, there was still more than plenty of time for the Steelers to score again. Honestly, I was not too hopeful at that point. I sat, along with everyone else (well, almost everyone else--there were a few exceptions), eager to see if AZ could pull it off. Unfortunately, they fell short. As we all are aware, they lost & the Steelers just won yet another Championship title. I would like to say I am happy for them. But...I'm not. Should have been the Cardinals--should have been Kurt Warner. So, the Super Bowl has come & gone. Perhaps they lost because I did not go to my usual environment? I must study to see if such could be the case. If so, I may have to give some deep consideration as to my plans a year from now.

Snow Tunnels

At the beginning of last week, people here in the midwest were preparing for a blizzard as the weathermen (& women) predicted much precipation in the form of snow, sleet & freezing rain. Despite their schooling & weather knowledge, I do not have much confidence in meteorologist these days as I find they usually are wrong more often than not. I must admit, the job seems appealing...I imagine they are getting paid a decent amount & heck, they don't even have to be accurate! All of the reports were that we would have between 4-6" inches in our neck of the woods. I figured, if lucky, that meant we might see a dusting. The majority of action came the evening after they said it would arrive. Total amount here? 7" at my work (just around the corner from my home). I had been hoping for more. I may be almost 30 but still, within me, lies a childhood dream. A dream that I'm waiting on to turn into a reality. I see myself waking up in the morning in my flannel pajamas, wandering down the steps, opening up the front door only to find that I see nothing but snow. When I look out, I know the snow has to be well above our house. The only way out is to make a tunnel. To get to & from, we'll have to all walk through the under "snow" tunnel. Now, I've been alive a few years & have yet to see so much snow but I'm hoping that one day, my fantasy from long ago will come to pass for I will always be a kid at heart. Today, the temperature rose a bit & well, now our snow has said farewell to us. Still, I will await the next expected snowstorm & sit in anticipation knowing that my dream will come true--my snow tunnel.