Dreaming Big

I do not remember a time in my life when a year has passed without my going on some kind of vacation. Some years, my family has done really large trips while other years, I've just spent a week or two visiting family in Alabama. For the first time in many years, I've yet to go anywhere this year. I had planned to be boarding a plane next month traveling to Indonesia. However, things do not always go as we plan. Due to various reasons, the trip to Indonesia was cancelled & I will not be going there after-all. As the trip to Indonesia began to look less likely day by day, I began giving greater consideration to flying to Dallas or to Virginia to see some of the Nepali students that became my brothers last semester. However, just as I lead a busy life, they do also. Seems no one would have much time to visit with me. With that being said, it seems pointless for me to spend a large amount of money on a flight, hotel, car rental & food & not even get to see those I have made the trip for. Over the past year, I've grown very close to many Nepali's. From the moment I first began to learn about Nepal, there was an urge to visit the land. The more I've seen pictures & videos of Nepal, the more interest I have in the country. As I've built friendships with so many Nepalese, my desire to go there has only intensified. I wish to meet the mothers, fathers, sisters & brothers of these wonderful people. I long to let the landscape take my breath away. I am eager to sit down & enjoy Nepali food with my hands amidst other Nepali's. I want so badly to ride an elephant inChitwan Park. I want to clothe myself in stunning sari's (saree). Mainly, I want to take in all that Nepal has to offer. Though I'm disappointed that I've yet to go anywhere special this year & I won't be, I trust I am making the right choice. I've decided to forgo one of my vacation weeks this year & carry it over to next so that I may go to Nepal. God-willing, as long as I am able to save enough money for a plane ticket, I will be up in the air flying across the world next summer or fall with the destination place being Kathmandu. In the meantime, I will continue to befriend Nepali's, learn more about their culture & home & hopefully, pick up some of the language. I'm ready to tour Nepal in 2011-the year of tourism for the country!!

I Could Really Use a Wish Right Now....

"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars, I could really use a wish right now, wish right now"- lyrics from the song "Airplanes"

I too, am looking for a wish to be fulfilled. As everyone knows by now, I absolutely love Lady Antebellum. After seeing them early this summer, I was elated upon learning that they would be returning here this month. Yes, Lady A will be back here in STL on September 30th & the Fabulous Fox Theater. I want nothing more than to go see this amazing group yet again. However, I must ask myself...do I need to spend the money on it? The answer (sadly) is "no". I'm going to hold out hope that I somehow manage to score some tickets so I'll be seated there at the end of the month hearing one of music's finest. Wish me well!

Summer Whirl

Summer has come and soon it will end. The summer has been nothing at all like I planned on it being. I expected that I would spend my summer at home-relaxing, taking it easy. As I recently shared with my family, I think I have been more active this past year than I had been the previous 30 combined. Do not misunderstand me, I have loved every second that I have been able to enjoy time with students. However, sometimes I am in great need of rest. Which, I've not succeeded well in getting. I figured that with so many students having left LU for good & many gone elsewhere for the summer, there would not really be anyone around for me to share my time with. While I did not see much of Lindenwood students, my entire summer has been devoted to meeting & getting to know students from other campuses (Fontbonne, UMSL, Maryville & Wash-U...for those unfamiliar with St. Louis, all are universities in the area here). I've met students from Nepal (of course!), Saudi Arabia, Brazil, South Korea & Thailand. We have dined out together & some have welcomed me into their homes & prepared meals for me. Though these last few months did not go as I intended them to go, I am very grateful that I've been given the opportunity to get to know all of these wonderful people. Now, I have even more friends!

The Little Things

I've often been asked why exactly it is that I blog. Many reasons. First one being the fact that I enjoy writing. Also, I hope that something I may have to say might be of encouragement to someone, bring laughter in the midst of a rather uneventful day or for those curious, allow them the opportunity to be enlightened a bit more into who I am. Some things I may write about may seem pointless to others. I'm OK with that. If you read this, it is your choice. You can also choose not to read. Either way, I'm fine. In my younger years, I often journaled & for a number of years, kept a diary. Just as my cousins & I have had the opportunity to read our Grandma's entries & see what life was like back when she was young, perhaps there will be some youngster that comes behind me that wonders what I did. For those reasons, I write...I blog. I am aware that people read my blog from time to time...probably thinking I'm a bit long-winded. I am. Recently, I learned that someone had spent an entire evening staying awake reading my words. They did not go to bed until 2:30-3:30 in the morning. I was extremely surprised when they shared such with me & even more amazed when they began questioning me about some of the things I had written. Even I had forgotten about some of the stuff! I'm a simple gal....always have been, probably always will be. For me, it's the little things in life that impress me or make me happy. The same person who ruined their sleeping out of interest for what I had to say, called me last week to let me know they had a surprise for me. They said what they had for me was going to make me really happy & they just knew I would love it. They said that "SOMEONE" had told them I wanted this gift. I racked my brain trying to think of what I may have requested from someone. I came up empty. While talking the other evening, the person said they had a bell for me. For those unaware, I collect souvenir bells. I knew I had NEVER mentioned that I collected bells or verbalized that to this individual. That being said, I was a bit confused as to how they knew that. I then remembered, my blog. A while back, I wrote about my bell collection. While reading every entry from the last 3 years, they saw that & took note of it. I have to give them credit....that is quite impressive. I can't believe someone paid such close attention to every word I wrote. I do not write in order that someone will read my words, see my wants & desires & then seek to grant me those things. However, it means a great deal that someone wanted to know "me" & that crazy as it seems, they spent hours & hours reading that which to many, may seem unimportant. Again, it's the little things in life.

Coming Soon.....

From my understanding, this is the time of year when many international students are visiting the U.S. Embassy in their country to interview & apply for visas to come to America for what could be the opportunity of a lifetime for many of them. Some, will already have made it through the interview process, obtained their visa & are now preparing for a huge move to the United States. In less than a month, 100-200 new students from all around the world will step foot onto the grounds of Lindenwood University. Most likely, I will meet just a small number of those new students. Still, I will greet new faces. I will eagerly await getting to know some of them at the airport as I'll pick them up & give them a ride to their new "home" at the college. I will meet some for the first time at an ISI meeting & others, I'll meet through various people. Though I am missing so many of the students that are no longer here, I am anxious for those that I know to return from their summer travels & for new students to arrive. I am excited for the year ahead & for the memories to be made up the road.

The Miles Between Us Do Not Stop the Memories

I was told this would get easier. While in some ways it has, many days are difficult. I know you are not here. How could I not notice? You may think I have moved on, that others have taken your place. Others have entered into my life but no one will ever be you. Though you are not here & adjusting to that truth has become easier, I miss you no less than the day you left.

I miss having you sitting beside me in Busch Stadium to watch the Cardinals play.

I miss dancing with you.

I miss going to ISI Dinners with you.

I miss not being able to take you to the Zoo in warmer temperatures.

I miss playing in the snow with you.

I miss helping you prepare Nepali meals.

I miss sharing those meals with you in my home and your home.

I miss relaxing in Spellmann with you - sitting on the sofas outside of the computer lab or down in the Connection.

I miss helping you with papers, projects and reports.

I miss waiting for you to appear at ISI meetings.

I miss you showing me your favorite Nepali music videos.

I miss you trying to teach me Nepali.

I miss you laughing at me as I tried speaking Nepali.

I miss seeing you looking sharp in your traditional Nepali clothing.

I miss getting to celebrate birthdays with you.

I miss your hugs.

I miss you telling me of your hopes and dreams of the future.

I miss hearing about those you love the most - your family...your mom, your dad, your brother, your sister.

I miss being honest and sharing things with you.

I miss your trusting me & your opening up & sharing the difficult times of your life with me.

I miss you being here to care for me, give me advice, encourage me & attempting to protect me from those that aren't the best for me.

I miss playing board games with you.

I miss your being at my house till 2 or 3 in the morning while I try to keep my eyes open.

I miss your not wanting to leave our house to return to school.

I miss asking you questions to get to know you and then hearing your responses.

I miss you waiting for my answers to those same questions.

I miss you making up your own questions.

I miss grocery shopping with you.

I miss going to the movies with you.

I miss allowing you to get in the driver's seat of my car and drive around.

I miss the smile that came upon your face when I told you that you were doing a good job driving.

I miss driving down the road wondering if you would ever decide where you wanted to eat.

I miss hearing you say, "Let's move."

I miss hearing you say, "Let it be."

I miss eating Indian food with you.

I miss having slushies with you.

I miss going to Steak & Shake with you.

I miss your going to church with me.

I miss your being in the Realm with me.

I miss searching the Loop for things with you.

I miss singing Taylor Swift songs with you ("You Belong With Me", "Romeo & Juliet", "White Horse") in my car.

I miss hearing you sing James Blunt's "You're Beautiful"

I miss hearing you sing Guns & Roses "Knockin' on Heaven's Door"

I miss hearing you sing Bryan Adams' "Everything I Do, I Do For You"

I miss singing "Must Be the Money" (Monkey!!) with you.

I miss your getting excited when my phone would ring & play "Boom Boom Pow"

I miss picking you up at the airport after returning to St. Louis.

I miss you always wanting my camera so that you could get "snaps."

I miss you making me pose for photos.

I miss walking with you, hiking with you...you patiently waiting for me.

I miss sitting on the grass of the riverfront letting the cool winds blow through our hair.

I miss fighting with you in the kitchen as we got icing all over each other...and water...and ice.

I miss photo shoots with you.

I miss your holding your country's flag proudly while allowing me to join you for a picture.

I miss you asking me about my day at work.

I miss showing you the St. Louis Arch.

I miss beating you at tennis on the Nintendo Wii.

I miss singing Karaoke on the Wii with you.

I miss getting to watch the joy on my parents faces when they see you.

I miss watching you play football (soccer).

I miss hearing you talk about Cricket.

I miss seeing you uneasy with "Easy" around. Funny time.

I miss picnics with you.

I miss sitting with you on a park bench and sharing our hearts through conversation.

I miss driving you to the India Market and your introducing me to new things there.

I miss hearing you say, "I love you."

Mainly.....I just miss your being here. I miss everything about you. Miles may be between us but my love for you is no less. My thoughts of you are not less frequent. Actually, my thoughts of you are daily. You may not be here but you can rest assured that I certainly have not forgotten you. Each day, these things above or the thinks I think of. There are many more that I did not even mention too. They come to mind and I smile, laugh or fight the tears. You are remembered. You are loved.

I Wanna Be a Billionaire

"I wanna be a billionaire, so freakin' bad. Buy all of the things I never had." These are the first couple of lines to a song being played on the radio regularly today. Go figure that immediately after our pastor preached on materialism & covetousness, I would hear this song on the radio. Though I am not a fan of the vast majority of the lyrics, I must admit that the tune is rather catchy & I cannot get the song out of my head. I know a few of the other lines from the song sporadically but don't really know the song. I just find myself singing the opening lyrics repeatedly. Pastor Bob asked on Sunday morning if God were to never give us another blessing, would we be satisfied with what we have. I was thinking for certain that I would be. I am not a materialistic individual...of course I'd be content. Until....he mentioned relationships. If I were being honest, I don't think that I would be satisfied if I were to never marry. I long for that precious gift. Facing the hard truth, I know that this is continually an area of my life in which I must ask God to give me peace & acceptance about. Moving beyond that aspect & back to the thought of wanting more money & more possessions, I did examine myself for a moment. Thankfully, my parents raised my sister & I emphasizing that money was not the most important thing in the world. Yeah, there were times when Haley & I requested certain things (Umbro shorts, Adidas jackets, Hypercolor t-shirts, a Nintendo, etc.) but for the most part, neither of us have sought to have the best of everything. As I think about the things I own, I truthfully cannot even think of one thing that I own that I would not easily be able to walk away from if need be. Of course, I'd like to be able to have my computer to communicate with everyone around the world but if I had to give it up, I could. Aside from my laptop, I don't have anything that I absolutely couldn't bear to be without. Days ago, one of the international students and I were in a discussion about my car. The suggested that I should love my car. I let them know that I like my car but I don't love my car. I'm pleased to have a car for getting to & from & I'm pleased that it is a nice car but the car is not my life & the car has no soul. The car is not my baby, child or anything else. The car is temporary & I choose to invest more time in people. All this being said, I'm thinking about that billion dollars. Would I love to have a billion? Of course, who wouldn't? Most likely, I will never be financially wealthy (& if I am it will not come by way of lottery or gambling since I do not play) & even if I were, I don't see myself wishing for the finer things in life. No, I don't care about an expensive car, diamonds galore do not appeal to me & I don't need a mansion in Malibu. Instead, I would immediately quit my job & embark upon a journey around the world. To do so, is a dream of mine. A dream that I am doubtful will ever become a reality. Even still, that would be my wish. While traveling, I would not only want to see the many sights but also be able to leave a lasting impact on all that I would encounter...an eternal impact. For now, I'll choose to trust that God has given me all that He wants me to have. I may not be a billionaire in the eyes of the world. My bank account does not have zero after zero behind it. However, I am rich....much more wealthy than I ever could have imagined. Rich in my walk with the Lord, rich in family, rich in friends. Rich in those things that truly matter.