My Heart, My Desire

Since my trips to Taiwan in 2005 & 2006, there has been a deep yearning in my heart to be involved in building relationships with those from other cultures-specifically Asians. I have been lost with where to go or what to do. Several had mentioned that I should head to Lindenwood University & work with the International Students. While that sounded great, I had no idea what I could do or who I would even need to talk to that could help me. A few months ago, a friend of mine approached me at church & handed me a flyer. He did not ask me if I wanted to take part in this ministry or if I would even be interested. His only request was that I get the word out to others about the ministry that our church would be partnering with. Doug did not have to beg & plead with me to jump at the opportunity because he knew my heart. He knew that I would not have to think about it or hear more details. That which was being presented, was what I had prayed for long ago! 2 weeks ago was the beginning of fulfillment for me as I walked into the room at the Spellman Center at Lindenwood & met a number of International Students. Strange how I am generally an introvert & when in a group, say nothing but when put in a room amongst many internationals, I have no problem being outgoing. I find myself walking right up, extending my hand & introducing myself. I long to talk to them, find out where they are from, learn about their country, hear about their interests & so forth. All of these things have been pouring out of me as I have gotten acquainted with my new friends. As I continue to spend time with these students & our relationships deepen, I pray that God stirs their hearts & that He uses me to share His love freely. I think back to 2006 when I came home from Taiwan & began to write of my experiences & mail those out to you, my friends. Included with my letter, I sent out picture prayer cards that had both myself as well as one of my students. On the card, I had the following scripture: "Brethren, my heart's desire and my prayer to God for them is for their salvation. " - Romans 10:1 Three years later, my prayer remains the same for the Hakka in Taiwan & 3 years later, my prayer is also the same for my new found friends. When I think of them, immediately the song above (in the video) comes to mind. Truly, that is my heart, my desire.

Entering the World of Gaming

Who'd have thunk that I would ever be entering the world of gaming? By gaming, I mean video games. Yes, I have succumbed. Early in the summer, I ran into an old friend (well, more of an acquaintance really) at a store. Over the last few months, we have begun to spend more time one another. Of his many interests & hobbies, is his intense devotion to playing video games. Having never really played much, he's been kind enough (if that's what we should call it) to allow me to join him in playing. For someone who is an avid player such as he, having to play with someone who has not a clue about remotely anything has to be frustrating. Yet, at the same time, I think he is pleased to show me up as well as laugh at how pitiful I am. On our first night of game playing, we played Mario Kart.I am keenly aware that Mario Kart was designed with children in mind & that many kids play the game. I, however, might not learn as fast as most. While it is true that I drive a car nearly every day & seem to operate it just fine, managing a tiny steering wheel for a video game is a bit more complicated-at least it seems to be for me anyway. After not fairing well in Mario Kart, my friend allowed me to drive his Lamborghini in the game Need for Speed. He was quite amused that in a game requiring speed, I was finding it hard to move beyond 65 mph. Even at that, I felt a need to slow things down. In my attempt to play things safe, I managed to crash into the wall numerous times & go the wrong direction several times (I might add that I was not even aware that I was going the wrong way until my friend pointed it out to me). My first evening of "gaming" was less than stellar. Apparently my friend felt that I needed some more practice because he offered to let me return for more games. Last week was round two. For some reason, we did not play any racing/driving games...I wonder why? This time, he picked out games that he thought I might be more suited to. I do not think he would tell you that I was great but I do think he would say that I was better at some of the other games than that which we played the first night. In my second attempt at playing video games, we did Lego Batman...he was Batman, I was Robin. Good thing it was not real life because I did not make a very good sidekick to Batman.We played Peggle (which, in my friends words, was easy enough for me) & I absolutely loved it. As the night went on, we tried out some other games as well. While I am not going to be beating anyone in these games anytime in the near future (or ever more than likely), I am enjoying trying them out. Who knows, now that I've started on this ride, maybe I'll set out to watch Star Wars, Star Trek & jump into the world of comics next. Then, when the next round of Beauty & the Geek airs, maybe I'll be "geeky" enough to enter as one of the geeks...I'll walk in as a Superhero or something. OK, so perhaps that might be a bit overboard. I think Sci-Fi is out of the question for me-no one need fear that I'm going to be moving into the nerd-herd.

Better to Have a Broken Heart?

Working with the public, I hear anything & everything. People seem to feel an openness to share their entire lives with us regardless as to whether or not it's something we need to know or even care to know. From time to time though, individuals do bring about conversations with us that are pleasant, comical or leave us wondering a lot. Today I experienced such. A man a year younger than myself (for those asking how old I am, I'm 30...there, I said it!) came in & presented both cash & checks for deposit. One of my coworkers rushed up to begin speaking with him. Evidently, the two of them went way back. The money going into his account was given to he & his fiance' at a recent bridal shower. On October 17th, he will become a married man. As he & my coworker talked there at my station, I was obviously privy to everything that was being said. My coworker was asking him how he found the place that the reception was going to be held at. After telling her all about it, he then informed her that when her oldest son "finds the one", he should look into renting the same place for his wedding reception. The two then began to discuss her son's broken heart. After dating a girl for a couple of years, the girl had broken up with him. His mom seemed to think that he may finally be over the girl. At this point, the young man told her that he believes that no one should ever get married until they've first had their heart broken. He spoke of dating many girls & giving no thought to dumping them back in the day. He said that after ditching so many girls, he was finally the dumpee once & his heart was crushed. He then realized what it felt like & that he caused a lot of pain to a lot of girls. Upon this realization, he said he called every girl he had dumped carelessly in the past & offered them a heartfelt apology. Because he had been through heartbreak himself, now he was able to love & appreciate the one he was in love with. Call me crazy but I think it will be just fine with me should God bless me with the love of my life without my having to bawl my eyes out & sit in misery over someone that has decided to trample all over my heart. Have I been in love yet? No. There was someone that I think I probably believed I loved at a point in time in my life but those feelings were not returned (after a few years, God has shown me that though a great guy, he would not have been good for me). I have had interest in many wonderful guys but they have never expressed interest in me past friendship. While that can be disappointing at times, I've not been devastated over it. No matter how much I may desire someone, I realize ultimately that God is in control & I'm better off letting Him lead. As most are aware, I've yet to be in a serious relationship. Therefore, I've not had my heart broken. Some may say this is a bad thing. I, on the other hand, see this as God watching over me & protecting me from hurt & pain. So, while this fella today feels everyone needs to have their heart broken, I think I'm going to disagree. I don't consider myself a prideful person but I can honestly say that I am proud that, with God's help, I have kept my heart guarded & that still to this day, the only hands I have placed my heart in are those of the hands of my loving Jesus, who will never break my heart. I trust that I will one day (Lord-willing) be rewarded for my patience in waiting on God's man for me. Then, in that moment, will I share my heart with another.

Dweeb to Dancer

In just a while, I will turn the channel on the TV over to ABC to watch the season premier of Dancing With the Stars. While I had heard of the show, I failed to watch the first couple of seasons assuming that dancing would be of no interest to me. I don't recall why I finally tuned in to the program. I only know that when I did give it a chance, I was roped in. To see those that have had no previous dance experience (for the most part) attempt to rise to the level of professionals is not only humorous at times but riveting. When speaking of sports or athletes, most of us would mention things like baseball, basketball, boxing, Tiger Woods, Eli Manning, Albert Pujols and the list goes on. I can't say that I've ever heard anyone spout off the names Cheryl Burke, Derek Hough or any other ballroom dancer when talking about sports. Until watching the program, I never in a million years would have thought dancing could be so physically demanding. I've been a fan of the show now for several years & each time I watch, I see the endurance that the dancers must have as well as the strength required for the dances. Truly, dancing is not for wimps or sissies. Hysterical it has been to watch big ole' boys like Warren Sapp step on to the dance floor & admit that dancing ain't easy....it's hard work. I don't need to tell anyone that I've no coordination--we all know that. I've no rhythm. I can't dance. Yet, each time I watch the show, there's a piece deep inside of me that longs to be able to glide across the floor doing the Vienesse Waltz, rage with the bull in the Paso Doble or trot smoothly doing the Foxtrot. In all reality, I know such will never happen. I'm simply far too clumsy to even try to dance. Yet, I can dream. I never went to a school dance & that's fine with me. I've never gotten up to dance at a wedding reception & I even managed to talk my best friend out of having a bridal party dance at her wedding because I (her Maid of Honor) did not want to have to dance. I am not the girl that longs to be held in the arms of my loved one for a first dance (or any dance) at my wedding reception (should I ever marry) & I can only hope that if the Lord blesses me with a mate, that gentleman will not want to dance before a roomful of people. Perhaps, one day, we can just jive across the kitchen together. Anyway...here's to another season of dancing hopefuls. I'll soon make my prediction as to who I think will take home the infamous Mirror Ball Trophy at the end of the competition.

Teach Me O, Lord

Been quite some time since my last entry...apparently I've not seen the importance of recording my thoughts. Days have been busy & I have been tired. The last 5-6 months have proved to be a bit of a roller coaster ride for me. I've allowed myself to get my hopes set high only to see them come crashing down. Disappointment has set in. I've anticipated much & in doing so, been let down. Throughout these times, I've been reminded repeatedly of James' words: " Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have it's perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." - James 1: 2-3 While every step of this journey has taught me something, my prayer is that first & foremost, I would allow God to use every moment to mold me more into His image. When the tears want to stream down my face, may I remember that my Heavenly Father has my best interest at heart & as much as I would like things my way & in my timing, His plans for my life will always be better. Lord, help me to wait patiently, trust wholly & be joyful always.

Feliz Cumpleanos a mi' (Happy Birthday to Me)

July 18th...welcome to the thirties Heather! Yep, I awakened that Saturday knowing that my 20's were gone & I was now..over the hill. Smart as a whip, I planned my trip accordingly so that I would be out of the country during the momentous event. I knew that I would be able to avoid all the fuss & escape the birthday being a big deal. I am so glad that I chose to go to Nicaragua over my birthday. I could not have had a greater celebration. For me, a lack of celebrating my birthday is a grandiose occasion. Haley & I were ready to head out for the day but had to wait on the gentlemen to shower & get dressed. Having not really "seen" much of the neighborhood, Haley & I took a walk around so that I could see everything. We then left for the City of Leon. Again, we saw more old church buildings, etc. Another beautiful town. Trying to think up other activities, Jesus' remembered visiting a waterfall as a child. He & Luis began asking around to try to discover where the waterfall was located. We kept driving, driving & driving & finally turned on a dirt road headed back into the fields. I was beginning to get a bit concerned & eventually asked Haley if all of those they had spoken with were pointing us in the same direction or if we were getting conflicting stories (obviously I did not understand a word that was being said since they were speaking Spanish). She said that everyone was saying the same thing..."It's back this way." We kept getting further & further back & I wondered if we would be able to get out once we were back there. We were passing shack after shack, countless numbers of wild animals & yet, I did not see a river, a lake, a stream or even a dribble of water. We came upon a man & Jesus' learned from him that the waterfall that we were in search of was in the yard of the home of a man nearby. We had passed the house already. We turned back around & found the proper house. Luis got out & approached the home & returned moving the fence in front of us so that we could pull into the yard. In the yard, were dogs roaming around. I love dogs & am used to dogs. I, however, am not used to being on property with pigs. Yes, there were pigs. The grass was tall & the place looked dirty. Everyone jumped out of the vehicle & I posed the question, "Are we really getting out here?" Haley laughed & said, "Yep!" I then became aware of the fact that to get to the waterfall, I was going to have to walk through the weeds. For me, doing so is not an everyday occurrence. I don't consider myself prissy or high maintenance but I certainly would not refer to myself as an outdoors woman. Having not put any insect repellent on thus far in my stay, I figured it was probably an appropriate time to do so. Once Haley got me all sprayed, we were ready to go take in the fall. We quickly had a whole slew of kids around us. They were all staring at us as we got out of the car & the very minute I flashed my camera towards them, they took off hiding. They'd peek around to check on us & just laugh. Haley invited them to come have a picture with us. Once they did so, they stuck to us like glue following us all over the place. They would strike poses waiting for us to take their picture & then hurry to our sides to see the image on our digital cameras. When the image would appear, they'd erupt in chuckles at themselves.Off into the woods we went...with the kids tagging right along. Ahead of me, I saw a downhill slope & wondered how I was going to make it down there without tumbling. You must know, I'm not the most graceful individual & I move at a snail's pace. To come across a hill is to me, the equivalent of having to walk on ice--I'm unable to do that also. Nice as he could be, Luis climbed back my way & gave me his arm & helped me down. Pathetic, I know...just like a little old lady (maybe I was just living up the expectation of my body falling apart since I was turning 30). And then we arrived & the sight of the waterfall left us speechless. It was a sight like I'd never seen before. I've never been to Niagara Falls but I can't envision it topping this waterfall. See...here it is: Yeah so, Nicaragua had not had enough rain for there to be enough water to produce a waterfall. Not quite the scene that Jesus had remembered it being. So, we drove all that way to see that! Ridiculous as it may seem to have done so, our time there was by far, my favorite memory spent in Nicaragua. I had hoped that I would get into an orphanage to work with some kids or at least be surrounded by Nica children at some point. That was the only time that such happened. For me, that was all the birthday present I needed. Watching those gorgeous boys & girls smile & seeing their innocence filled my heart with such joy. As we walked back to the car, one of the older girls was encouraging the younger kids to use what little English they knew. The kids repeatedly said, "Hello" & "Thank You."After more pictures, we got in the car & waved goodbye to the line of kids that were gathered to say farewell to us. Though we had no intentions of winding up back in the sticks with people we did not know, it was a huge blessing & delight.

Tip-Top, Trees & Thirty Nearly

Whether for business, pleasure, a mission trip or whatever, two of the most frequently asked questions to the returning traveler are: "How was the food?" & "What did you eat?" That is why I felt it important to try to photograph as many meals as my mind would allow me to remember to do so. As atypical as I thought it was to be eating fried chicken in Nicaragua, it was just as uncommon to me to be sitting down ordering chicken strips. One might question if I really left North America & was in Central America! Tip-Top is Jesus' & Haley's favorite chicken place in Nicaragua. Naturally, they wanted me to share in that which they love. I was quite taken with it too. As far as the atmosphere or style, I would compare it to our KFC or Popeye's Chicken. Unlike here, you sit down there & a waitress comes to take your order. Where we would generally have our food within a few minutes here in the states, you could be waiting a while there-just like an actual restaurant. Tip-Top was "mucho bueno" (very good). Jesus' will actually begin working soon at a Tip-Top near his home. Before we left there, I went to the front of the building to snap a shot of the Christmas tree made out of lights. As I flew into Managua, I saw one of these trees from overhead. I was surprised to see so many of these as we drove around. According to Jesus', they like to celebrate Christmas all-year long there in Nicaragua. Once we made it back to the house, I decided to put on a little show for the guys. Throughout the day, the topic of my birthday being the following day had been discussed numerous times. At one point, after asking how old I would be, Jesus' stated that I looked like I was going to be 40 rather than 30. Some have seen these pictures & questioned if we were spinning around the bat & then trying to run in a straight line or what was transpiring. The bat was being used as my cane. However, as I tried to set myself up for portraying an old lady, Jesus continually caused me to burst into laughter breaking up my ability to keep a straight face. After multiple tries (which I did not post them all on here), we finally got a good one--what a beauty.