The Welcome of Unfamiliarity

Earlier in the year, I received a message from a former student (Lindenwood Alumni as he graduated) via Facebook. He was writing to inform me that he & his girlfriend, Irina (also a graduate of Lindenwood), would be marrying on June 27th. He was letting me know plenty in advance so that I would not have any excuse not to be there. When I realized that the 27th was on a Wednesday, I was rather doubtful that I would be able to be present. Once I checked on flights (as the wedding would be taking place in California), I was even more skeptical. Airfare was far too expensive for such a brief trip. Thankfully, I was persistent in my search for tickets & found a great deal round-trip to San Francisco. I was set & and ready to go. Having no idea what I was getting myself into, my journey began.... 

"WELCOME" in Nepali

Tuesday, June 26, 2012. 6:00 a.m. My alarm clock on my phone sounded notifying me that it was time to awaken. I hate the sound of an alarm so getting up is never an issue. I got up & do as I do nearly everyday - got ready to go into work. My day was not as long as usual as I only worked until 3:00 p.m. From work, I came home to do some last minute packing & my sister then took me to the airport. First flight: St. Louis to Dallas. My flight to Dallas was quick & we arrived into DFW 30 min. early. Nice! After getting into the airport, I saw that my flight into San Francisco had been delayed. As time continued to pass, I knew that we would not be leaving on time as there was not even a plane at the scheduled gate. Sure enough, my flight left 1 hr. late thus causing my midnight arrival to SF. Thankfully, my friend Pritesh had someone that was willing to come pick me up at such a late hour. I was already aware that the individual picking me up would be someone new to me; someone I'd never met before. I was OK with that. I consider myself extremely fortunate to have had Subash Thapa come to retrieve me. After working all day himself, he was kind enough to make the 45 min. drive from his home to SF to pick me up. I might add that, even at midnight, he fought through traffic (construction) to get to me. Once we got in the car, it then took an estimated 2 hours to get to Pritesh & Irina's place in Sacramento. By the time we arrived, it was 2:30 a.m. Of course, in St. Louis, the time was 4:30 a.m. To say I was tired would be an understatement. I kept thinking about the fact that I'd been awake for nearly 24 hours. Exhaustion was a given. As we approached Pritesh & Irina's home, I was pleased to see friends that I had not seen in almost a year (Sangeeta, Roshan, Pukar & Pankaj). The Nepali People are very hospitable. As soon as I made it into the house, my friends were unfurling an abundance of food & offering it to me. While I ate a few bites, my interest in eating was minimal. I had one thing on my mind & one thing only: sleep! I was shown my room & while I thought sleeping would not be an issue, I just laid there wide awake. Eventually, I drifted off into slumber but that only lasted for so long as I had a full day ahead of myself. A day that I doubt I'll ever forget. 

Sangeeta woke me up encouraging me to go into the other room to watch Irina's bridal make-up being applied. The initial getting ready process didn't differ much from any other bride preparing for her wedding day. Things began to change rapidly though & I knew that what I would be witnessing would be something more than unfamiliar to me. Honestly, my mind is a bit blank on the first phase/section (I'm not sure what they call it) of the marriage ceremony. Prior to exiting outside, Irina sat in a room with the Hindu Priest doing a number of different rituals, reciting various prayers & so forth. She then went outside & all of her guests were welcomed & given a tika  ( red dot applied on the forehead, between the eyebrows. Mixture of abir, a red powder, yoghurt, and grains of rice) by Irina's mother. Some of you are asking, what is the Tika exactly & why? Trust me, I wonder the same thing myself. While I'm sure my Nepalese Friends could give us more insight, I'm going to have to go with the Internet on this one. According to Wikipedia, the Tika may be worn on a daily basis or for special religious occasions only, depending on different customs. From my understanding (based upon what I was being told), such is done as a blessing. You will notice in a picture later, I am wearing the Tika (I know there are some of you that will question this as this is usually something we relate to Hinduism; not Christianity. If such is the case, please e-mail me, message me on fb or something. I'll gladly speak about this).  

My friend, Pukar, receiving the Tika

After a number of rituals were completed on Irina's part, it was time for Pritesh's arrival. Pritesh & many friends/family members approached the home by dancing & celebrating as they paraded up the street.

Pritesh awaiting his beautiful bride.

Once Irina joined Pritesh, many things took place. While I have pictures of nearly every moment, I am only posting a few pictures. Though I was being encouraged to go take a nap as there were many things to still occur in the day, I didn't want to miss anything. Every second was a chance for me to learn. Well, I'm not sure how much I learned. I took a lot in. One of the crucial parts to the marriage being made complete is the exchange of a wedding garland. I have already started my research into this practice. Similar to a Christian Wedding (& many other weddings), they did a ring exchange as well. For those curious, there was no "With this ring, I Thee wed...." or anything of that nature. During this time, the couple each placed the Tika upon another as well. Having completed these things, it was time for lunch. If I remember correctly, the next phase of the marriage could not be done before 1 p.m. but had to be completed before 4 p.m. I am sure you are questioning why that is. I asked the same thing. I don't think I received a definitive answer. Again, I'll be looking into it further.

This is a picture of my friend Sumin. I guess we're friends. Sumin? Kidding. Quick story off the beaten path, when I arrived at 2:30 a.m., Sumin was there along with all of my other friends. He seemed to remember me yet I had no recollection of having ever met him. Sure enough, he lives here in St. Louis & has probably been at many events that I've been to. I was feeling rather lousy for not remembering him. As I was snapping shots, Sumin asked me if I was going to write a paper about everything. Well, Sumin, this is not quite a paper but here ya go!

Once lunch was complete & the clock had passed 1 p.m., the third phase began. In the picture below, you can see the Hindu Priest guiding the couple in some rituals. Notice the fire burning (was burning the entire day) as well. The fire represents a god (so I was told).

The picture above depicts what I thought to be one of the most intriguing parts to the ceremony. A bit difficult for you to decipher what this is but basically, one of the girls present is holding this white cloth above Irina's head covering her eyes (I was unsure as to if she was to be blindfolded or what). You can see a small trail of orange colored ash (something like that) on the cloth. The ash leading up to Irina's forehead & scalp. Pritesh walked around the square a number of times (I fail to remember if it was 3 or 7 times as it seems that those were significant numbers throughout the day) & then placed this trail of ashes. Along with the garland & rings, I was told that this is possibly the most important part in making the marriage complete. Evidently, this "coloring" on Irina (though temporary) indicates that she is married.

I suppose I had not noticed but prior to the marriage, Irina would always be seated to Pritesh's right side. In the day following the wedding, Pritesh attempted to explain some things to me so that I'd have a better understanding. He then pointed the seating arrangement out to me. I was wanting to know why he picked her up & moved her. He was moving her from his right to his left. He said that from that point forward, she would always be to his left. Again, I'm assuming there is some significance behind this but that remains unknown still. 

The next phase was Irina's leaving her home to join Pritesh & his family. A particular song was playing repeatedly & one of the guys told me that during this song, the bride should be crying. There should be tears as she leaves her family to go to a new place with new people. Remember, arranged marriages are common in Nepal & India so it is not uncommon for a couple to marry having never met prior to the ceremony or having only seen each other a few times. In this case, things were different as Pritesh & Irina had been friends for many years though. Still, the concept of leaving (even though she was joining her life with someone she knew & loved already) brought about tears. Above, you see Irina's mother weeping as she gives her daughter away.

Above, the grand entrance into their home as husband & wife. As you see, Irina is stepping on plates of rice with a flame on each one. I have not a clue why this was done or what the importance was.

Once they were in the home, Irina joined her mother-in-law in a game so to speak. I believe Pritesh said that this determined how good of a caretaker Irina would be of their family?

Later in the day, many pictures were taken & the couple even decided to incorporate our tradition of a wedding cake into their ceremony. After the cake & popping open the bottles of champagne, the dancing/partying began. I believe I lasted until about 10:30 p.m. & then, I heard the bed loudly calling out my name. I've been home for over a week now & have looked at my pictures many times. Still, I'm wondering...why? Why is every single thing done? Why is each step important? What is the meaning behind every step? I was with some other Nepalese Friends a couple of nights ago & inquired. So far, I have gotten a lot of "It's tradition" or "It has to be done for the marriage to complete." Yet, no one has really known why. Because I have a deep desire to know & understand, I will begin to do as I was advised (thank you, Sarru, for your suggestion to Google it!). I will begin to research. In a Christian Wedding Ceremony, there are many parts (not nearly as many as in the Hindu Wedding. I suggested a nap time be added into their ceremony! Haha!). However, I have a good grasp of why each thing is done. I'd love to be more familiar with the practices that my dear friends take part in. One of the things that really stood out to me was the emphasis on the union not just between the couple themselves but between the two families. Both sets of parents were active participants throughout the day. That, is not like my culture at all. However, I greatly appreciated that about the ceremony as really, when one marries; they marry not only their spouse but they are essentially marrying into the lives of their spouses' loved ones as well. Though things were more than different from what is typical for me to see in a wedding, I am so thankful to have been able to celebrate with Pritesh & Irina. I'm grateful for the new experience & for the opportunity to have been exposed to what is common in their world.  I pray God's richest blessings upon Pritesh, Irina, their marriage & for many years of happiness ahead!

Attitude of Gratitude

Over the last 2.5+ years of working with International Students, I've learned a lot. We see the commercials asking us to give to "Feed the Children" & generally take the remote & move onto the next channel. Years ago, I would not have guessed that I'd be spending time with individuals from those countries in which money given may be going to "feed the children." We have nearly every kind of eating establishment imaginable within a 30 mile radius of us & yet, how often do we say, "There's nothing to eat." I never thought much about this until visiting Nicaragua in 2009 & saw beggars everywhere. I vividly recall sitting in a marketplace eating when 2 young children approached & just stood beside me at the end of the table. Their eyes fixated on the food on my plate...until, their eyes shifted to look at me. Then, their eyes moved back to the plate. Back & forth. Unfamiliar with such an environment, I asked Haley what was taking place. She then informed me that the children were hungry; they wanted my food. That was not my final time of witnessing such. About a year ago, one of the International Students; a Colombian Student shared that it really bothered him that as he worked in the cafeteria at school; he saw so many students wasting food. They would fill their plates, take a few bites & then throw it all away. He was nearly in tears as he shared with me that in his country, people kill for food. How many of us here in the land of plenty can envision that kind of atrocity? After the accident in Nicaragua in January, Haley's husband's family (brother, cousin & uncle) took off work to help us out. Missing a day of work in Nicaragua is not like missing a day of work here in the U.S. If we don't feel good, we call in. If we have something we'd rather do, we take off work. In a Third-World Country like Nicaragua, they would not dream of missing a days work. For Tio (Uncle), Luis (Jesus' cousin) & Mario (Jesus' brother), their missing work in order to care for us meant that they were sacrificing their own livelihood. As is true of probably many other countries, people who miss a days work could be going without food as they work just to be able to eat. I venture to say, they would dare not ever complain about their wages either. There is not the sense of greed that we as Americans often possess. Why am I talking about this? Many things have been on my mind. By now, everyone knows that within the next few years; my desire is to be overseas. I've begun the application process & got the ball rolling to start that journey. I've been looking around at all I have & thinking that when the time comes for me to leave, I will not have a need for much of which I have. The option to box things up & put things in the basement to sit for years seems pointless. Everyone knows I'm a HUGE Cardinal Baseball Fan. My room decor is a mixture of Cherry Blossoms, photos & Cardinal Memorabilia everywhere. I was recently at a game & received a poster of the 2011 World Championship Team. The "Heather" that saves everything (especially all things Cardinal-related) would have held onto that poster. The "Heather" that realizes there is no need for more "stuff" gave it away. I will soon begin to sell my memorabilia (I'd give it away but the cash I could make off of it would really help me out in paying off some debt, etc.). How I pray that God would continue to show me the importance of those things of lasting value rather than that which is temporary. I recently asked for a raise at my work. At this time, my place of employment is not in the position to give me what I want. I could be mad. I could be angry. I'm not. While I certainly would like a raise (obviously...I asked for one!), some things outweigh the dollar sign. After One Way closed (the company I was loyal to for over 10 years), it took me 7 months to find a job & to get hired on at my current workplace. The economy was rough; just as rough today. I am extremely thankful to have a job period. I have the convenience of working 2 minutes (literally) away from work. I used to go through a tank of gas every week to get to work. I can't imagine doing so with gas prices as they are today! I have great hours that enable me to have nights & Sundays off. Yeah, I may have to work some Saturdays but I work 4.5 hours & really, what do many of us do before noon on a Saturday anyway? No big deal. I am in a place now where I genuinely like those I work with. I'm so blessed to have Christian Men for bosses too. My bosses understand & realize that my long-term goal is not to advance with the company & move up the corporate ladder. They are well aware that I am here until God gets me on the plane. They support me fully. I could not ask for more. I'm thinking.....the next time you want to complain about something, take a minute to think about all you've been given; all you've been bestowed. Then, if you will...please picture the children in Nicaragua running around during school hours. Why are they running around rather than attending school? They can't afford uniforms. No uniforms = no school. No education. When you're done thinking about that, picture those hungry children staring at my plate...feel their starvation. Envision driving down your street seeing people living under trash bags held up by tree limbs. Yes, life like that really does exist. I've seen it with my own eyes. Then, think about the comfy seat you are sitting in as you read this.  Consider the fact that you can monitor the temperature within your home & though you may whine that it's hot; you have the ability to turn the air on. You can turn the heat on when you're freezing cold. You can go to your sink & get a drink of water from the tap. You don't have to walk miles & miles in hopes of getting your thirst quenched only to discover that the well runs dry. I ask you...do you really have it THAT bad? Please forgive me if I hear you whine & my sympathy is lacking. There are others my heart breaks for more & guess what, they don't ask for any sympathy either. They work hard, they love & they just try to do the best they can. They are a content & happy people because their life is not disturbed by those finer things in life that we think we must have. We are never satisfied; always wanting more.

Hope in the Darkest of Times

Imagine: You have left the cold, wintry weather of the Midwest U.S. & spent a week in the warm sun making memories to last a lifetime. You've soared through the sky on a zip-line, fed monkeys while out on a boat tour, inhaled the sulfur of a volcano, been introduced to new foods, shopped for hours at a local market, stayed in a breath-taking home, swam nearly everyday in an infinity pool & so much more. To top things off, during this week; you've witnessed one of the most beautiful weddings ever. Your sister has just married the love of her life. You stood beside her as her witness & later, you all danced & partied like crazy. Sadly, it is now time for you to leave this place that you've enjoyed so much. Even more difficult, leaving those that you've grown to love in just a few short days. Before the sun is even up, you & your family are in your rental van headed to the airport to begin your journey back to the U.S. You're tired from a long week so you fall asleep in the back seat. Suddenly, you are awakened by the sounds of tires squealing & the vehicle coming to a screeching halt. Those in the vehicle with you are screaming & crying. As you open your eyes, you see a body in mid-air that lands in the grass beside you. You realize something horrific has just taken place. Sounds like a plot for a movie doesn't it? Americans...a foreign country...something bad happens...they go to jail.

The story you just read is a true story. The story above is not some made up tale that I just wrote or found while surfing the web. Those words are my words; the story of my time in Nicaragua 2012. After an incredible time with my family in Nicaragua, we were headed back to Managua from Masaya at 4:30 a.m. on the morning of Monday, January the 23rd when something unexpected occurred. A 28 year old man was riding his bicycle in the center of the road & as my Dad (driving) came upon him (remember...it was 4:30 a.m. so the sun was not yet out. I might also add that there were no lights on this road nor did the bicyclist have any reflectors on the bike), my Dad swerved to keep from hitting him. As my Dad did so, the bicyclist swerved in the exact same direction. Within seconds, our van had made contact with his body. While each of us in the vehicle may have something different to tell (some saw the entire accident, some kept their eyes closed the entire time, etc.), my account is that which is written above. As I sat in the backseat of the van & looked back behind me to my left, I could see a body & could see blood. Haley's husband, Jesus', got out of the vehicle immediately & went to check on the man. We knew that even though Jesus' said he was still breathing in that moment, it was unlikely that he would make it --especially if no medical help arrived. As one can imagine, emergency services are much different in a third-world country than here in America. There is no "911" in Nicaragua. You can't just call & expect that within minutes, help will arrive. Jesus' immediately called his uncle & asked his uncle to go get help. Unfortunately, by the time help (paramedics) arrived, it was too late; the young man had already passed away. After several hours, we (me, my mom, my uncle & my cousin) found ourselves sitting outside of the Police Station in Masaya, Nicaragua while my sister & Jesus' found themselves sitting inside a room at the station with my Dad as Haley played translator while my Dad was being questioned. The day was, by far, the most exhausting & frightening days I've experienced in my life to date as I was not only deeply saddened about the life lost but fearful wondering what was going to happen to my father. Would my dad go to jail? When would he get to come back to the states? Would he be able to come back to the states? As the day progressed, things did not get any easier. In fact, things only grew more difficult. Thankfully, after a trip back to the accident site for a re-enactment, the police determined that the accident was just that - an accident. The reconstruction confirmed that there was absolutely nothing that my Dad (or anyone for that matter) could have done to have avoided hitting this young man. Everything showed that the bicyclist was at fault. By sunset, my Dad finally was allowed to come outside & since he was obviously not a threat to anyone, the police allowed him to leave with us though his passport & driver's license was still in their possession. He was told he would not get any of those things back & be allowed to leave Nicaragua until the case was closed. A number of things had to take place before the case would be closed though. Relieved to be leaving the station & to be doing so with our Dad with us, we left. We did so with the orders that we must remain in Masaya & not go outside of the city. We found a hotel & Haley's "Honeymoon from Hell" (as my dad has called it & suggested she write a book by that title) began. Having experienced such a traumatic event, Jesus' (Haley's husband) felt that it was very important that we all stick together & vital that they not leave us as we would be unable to communicate if anyone needed to speak to us. So, as newlyweds, Haley & Jesus' 2nd night of marriage was spent sleeping in a room with their family. Not ideal. Though the rest of us were free to leave Nicaragua & could have caught a plane back to the U.S., none of us would ever have thought about leaving my Dad there by himself. After some sleep (not much; don't think anyone slept too well at that place), we were all hopeful that we would be on a flight the next day or Wed. at the latest. However, things began to spiral downward even more so when we learned Tuesday afternoon that we could not leave the hotel we were at due to the fact that the victim's family had located us. Unbeknownst to anyone other than Haley, Jesus' had spent the morning outside of our hotel room arguing with lawyers as the victim's family had sent lawyers demanding that our family give them a substantial amount of money. The police had been made aware of the situation & advised Jesus to instruct us that we should remain at the hotel & not just refrain from leaving there but also not go beyond a certain point on the property as people may see us & further problems could arise. After all that we had been through, we just wanted to go home. Being confined to such an area was only adding to our frustration. We had just learned that not only were we going to be there who knew how long but the hope of even venturing out on for food & to breathe was gone. The only encouragement was that my Dad was not sitting in a jail cell; he was with us. By Wednesday, we were really getting stir-crazy. Mom, Dad & I were sitting outside in the courtyard area when a couple sat down not too far away from where we were. My mom was ecstatic when she heard English & wasted no time inquiring as to where they were from. Within minutes, these "angels in disguise" were sitting with us. We learned they were American Missionaries from Oklahoma (actually, the lady was born here in Missouri). We spent several hours talking to them but never divulged any information regarding the accident. During our conversation, Nathan (the man) advised us to be very cautious out on the roads because the driving is crazy & if you don't watch it, you could end up hitting a bicyclist or someone out walking. I fought hard not to cry at that statement. Nathan had no idea what we had been through so he certainly was not saying that to hurt us. Yet, I think God allowed him to say that to us. Once Nathan & Melody left us, my parents & I began to talk. My Dad decided we would tell them what happened. All three of us felt that God had placed them there to minister to us. Later that evening, we called Nathan & Melody into our hotel room & my Dad shared with him what had taken place. Miles away from home...scared, tired, frustrated & discouraged; God sent this dear brother & dear sister in Christ to love on us. They spent time praying over us & offered to help in whatever ways they could. Over the course of just a few days, these "strangers" became friends that will never be forgotten & forever cherished & loved. Nathan & Melody have been traveling to Nicaragua for the last 8 years & have went several times a year to various parts of the country to share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Yet, they said they had never just been "stationary" at a hotel as they were while we were there. We know that it was no accident that they were there at the same time as us & had nothing to do but sit around. God provided that...for us! We mentioned that we were longing for some ice cream. The next day, they gifted us with a huge bucket of Chocolate Ice Cream. The only stipulation was: we must share it with Melody! No problemo!

We spent hours that day swapping stories & laughing till it hurt nearly. Nathan & Melody's being there was a breath of fresh air to us. Specifically, for me. Not only did we have a great time giggling but I thoroughly enjoyed talking to Nathan about my desire to go overseas to Nepal or India. I appreciate the advice & wisdom he offered me from his time as a pastor & now as a missionary. The time we spent with Nathan & Melody was invaluable. Later that night, Nathan & Melody asked my parents if it would be OK if my cousin & I joined them for dinner. We had not left the hotel at all & because neither of us were probably the ones that would be under attack, everyone felt it would be safe for us to go with them. Lisa & I were grateful at the opportunity to travel with them just a mile or so away to eat some traditional food for the evening. I remember saying to Lis, "Wow, it's nice to know that life does exists outside of that hotel." What a precious, thoughtful treat that was that Nathan & Melody gifted us with. On Friday morning, my Dad was expected to be at the police station for the ending of the case. Of course, Haley also had to go as did Jesus'. My cousin ended up needing to go as well. My mom & I were left back at the hotel when a bus of 100+ Panamanians arrived for their stay. I quickly realized: we had just lost our hotel room. Frantically, we tried to find a solution as to what to do with all of our stuff. Again, our angels were there for us. While Nathan was gone for the day, Melody's quiet day to herself was interrupted by us as she kindly allowed us to drag ALL of our belongings into their room. Mom & I sat there with her for a few hours as we awaited the return of everyone else in hopes that we would be heading to the airport. By nearly 1:00 p.m., everyone had come back, my Dad had been cleared, the case was closed & he had been given his passport & driver's license back. We were ready to book it to the airport in hopes of getting on the next flight out to Miami. And...we did. We all made it on the flight (with the exception of Haley who was not scheduled to return until the following day; Saturday) & I was more eager to be on a plane back to America than I ever had been. The flight from Miami back to St. Louis seemed to last longer than my flights from to/from Taiwan. Of course, they don't even begin to compare in distance but it felt as though the plane was never going to land. We finally arrived back in St. Louis at around 11:00 p.m. Friday evening & were greeted by many of our extended family members. Just as we were dealing with a lot, our family back here in the states were too as they were gravely concerned. What a relief it was to them when they finally saw us heading their way & they could embrace us each. Which, that brings us to now...

A little over a month has passed & we still are trying to cope with the events of that day. Few can understand the thoughts that run through our head, the emotions we experience or anything we've been through. I wish no one ever would have to but I know that every day, somewhere, someone does. While we are so sad for the life that was lost, our faith in Jesus is carrying us through. Once my Dad was released to go to the hotel with us, my Dad began the "what-if" game. He said, "What if we would have went the other way?", "What if we would have left 2 minutes earlier?" I finally said, "Dad, we can't play that game. What has happened has happened & we can't change that." I also realized that as hard as it was (& still is at times) for us to understand why this happened, we believe God's Word to be true. Ecclesiastes 3:1-2a (The Bible) says, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. A time to be born, a time to die." Nothing can change the fact that 28 years ago, God allowed that young man to be born to his mother & that January 23, 2012 was his appointed time of death. For reasons we may never comprehend (though, I've got a few ideas), God allowed us to be in the vehicle that ultimately led to the fulfillment of that young man's appointed death date. The knowledge that the latter is the case is sad. Yet, it was an accident & that fact does help to ease the sorrow somewhat. Though I've, for years, been aware of the frailty of life; this confirmed it even more so. We are not guaranteed tomorrow. We're not guaranteed that our hearts will continue beating 5 minutes from now. James 4:14 states that "You are just a vapor that appears for a little while & then vanishes away." The Bible continues in Psalm 39:4-7

4 “Show me, LORD, my life’s end

and the number of my days;

let me know how fleeting my life is.

⁵ You have made my days a mere handbreadth;

the span of my years is as nothing before you.

Everyone is but a breath,

even those who seem secure.^[b]

⁶ “Surely everyone goes around like a mere phantom;

in vain they rush about, heaping up wealth

without knowing whose it will finally be.

⁷ “But now, Lord, what do I look for?

My hope is in you.

As a Christian, I believe that when my time on Earth is finished, I will spend eternity in heaven with Jesus Christ. I will do so not because of anything I have done (for it is not something one can earn) but only because of all Jesus has done for me. Though this was a tragedy & we still have days of difficult moments as we try to move forward (for example, I was driving in downtown St. Louis a week ago & was stopped at a Red Light when a couple of guys walked in front of my car. I was fine. However, when the light turned green & I moved my foot onto the accelerator & began to go, another guy darted out on front of me & I had to hit the brakes. My heart was racing & frankly, it terrified me. I was scared knowing what could have happened & the image of the young man in Nicaragua came forth), God has (& will continue to) brought good from the situation. In the days following the accident, Romans 8:28 became a verse I would cling onto. Though a familiar verse to most Christians, the words became very real to me "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose". Truly, God has worked "all things" (even in the case of something so terrible) for good. Not only did God bless us richly with the presence of Nathan & Melody, Jesus' family surrounded us with unconditional love & support every single day. Had it not have been for the accident, we would have left Nicaragua having only spent a few brief hours with them at the wedding. We would not have known them. Jesus' brother, sister, nieces, nephew, cousin & uncle came to visit us often & several missed much work in order to be of assistance to our family. Due to the time we spent with them, we (especially our mom) were able to see what wonderful people they are. There is no question that Haley has married into a tremendous family. My parents have the comfort of knowing that when Haley returns to Nicaragua one day permanently, she will be well-taken care of. The tragedy that occurred brought 2 families together as one. Jesus' & Haley's lives were united but so were our families. This event brought to the forefront the reminder that life is short & I've been given a new urgency to share how Christ has changed my life & that He offers the same hope to anyone else who desires it. I had someone recently say, "Your family sure has been through a lot over the course of the last year...with your dad, now this." Yes, it is a lot. However, we get through because our hope is found in Jesus & He provides us with all that we need. Even in the midst of hardships, we still give Jesus praise.

I ask you to continue to pray for our family. Pray for my uncle in Alabama as unlike the rest of us, he is back home & does not have anyone nearby that was present at the accident. Pray for each of us as we each deal with this in a different manner & we all have our moments of struggles. Please pray for God to comfort the hearts of the victim's family & friends. Our hope is that through this, God will use us to share our story & share of His love & goodness...the Hope of His Son, Jesus Christ. For those that have questions or want to talk, please feel free to speak to myself or one of my family members. If we cry, please be patient with us & forgiving...this is still a situation that is difficult. Even so, we wish to share it.

Memories of The Night Before Christmas

I do not have any recollections of this for I was just a child; but every year I hear the story told. My mema tells of sleeping in my bedroom with me when I was just a little girl & on Christmas Eve, I said, "Mema Santa Claus is coming!" She says that we laid in my room listening for Santa & his reindeer to land on the rooftop. Apparently, it was at that time that I told her, "Mema, I'm getting married." When she asked me who I was marrying, I replied with "Jeff Pool." Jeff was a guy a good 10-15 years older than myself that attended church with us. Again, I don't recall either of these things but I get to hear about them each Christmas. Aside from being reminded of the "cute" things I said way back when, I have lots of memories of Christmas Eve's gone by.

For as long as I can remember, my mema, late papa (my papa went home to be with Jesus in June 2000) & my Uncle Roger would come up from Alabama on the day before Christmas Eve. With them, would be my Uncle William's parents; also from Alabama. Christmas Eve would consist of scurrying around to buy last minute gifts (this still continues today unfortunately), a dinner in the home, piling in the van to go look at Christmas lights (while my dad played cassette tapes he compiled with all of his favorite Christmas music) & last but not least; opening presents from the family. Christmas Morning was reserved solely for opening the gifts from Santa.

Years later, the traditions remain pretty much the same. Really, the only difference is the process of unwrapping presents. No matter the tradition, the biggest blessing is simply being surrounded by family & the memories created year after year. Always is enjoyable to look at pics of ourselves & see just how goofy we looked, what gifts we were ecstatic about & most of all; reflect on the time shared together. As I consider that within a few years that I'll most likely be living overseas, the time with my loved ones here becomes that much more precious. As precious as it is, I await the day I'll be on the other side of the globe creating new memories with an adopted family & celebrating the significance of this time of year with new friends.

So Long Albert...

Nearly a week ago, St. Louis became shell-shocked when Albert Pujols signed with the Annaheim Angels. I will admit, I was not only surprised but disappointed. Honestly, I was even angry. 1 week later & though I will miss going to the ballpark & seeing #5 come up to the plate, I'm over it. A friend had posted a comment that a friend of his had made & hopefully he doesn't mind that I've chosen to use it...

"My last thought on Pujols: This is a perfect reminder of how silly our love of sports can be. Many of us are feeling 'betrayed' by him, but I would guess that few of us would have turned down a guarantee of 25 million dollars a year for the next 10 years. Ultimately, this is a bunch of grown men playing a kid's game for A LOT of money--and we're the suckers for devoting so much of our lives to it when there are so many better pursuits. Honestly, I'm glad for the perspective that this has provided me. If I care that much about Albert, it is too much. I need to be focused on what God has in mind for me, not what the Cardinals are doing (but I'll still enjoy them)." - Chris Bond

Many of us (myself at the top of the list) have been quick to judge this situation & insist that it was all about the money. Even if it was about the dollar sign, do we know Albert's heart & what he intends to do with the money? Is it even our business to begin with? Over the last 11 years, Albert has proven that he is dedicated to not only helping in the community but to aiding his home country of the Dominican Republic. Why should we think that his doing so would stop just because he will be in a different city? Have we forgotten that there are lost people in the City of Anaheim? Do we not care about the children in California that have Down Syndrome? Are we aware that there is a much larger Hispanic population in California than here in St. Louis & perhaps God will use Albert to minister there?

If you know me, you know I'm a HUGE baseball fan. I have a great love of the game & just like many others, admire Pujols' accomplishments in the game. At the same time, if I allow myself to be consumed with his leaving, I have taken my eyes off of Jesus. I will miss Pujols. I'll miss the thrill of his coming to the plate & the suspense that comes from wondering if he would knock one out of the park. I am thankful that I had a chance to go to Florida & see Albert up close. I'm happy that I live in the city that housed one of baseball's finest for 11 years. I was not alive to watch Stan the Man Musial play but I was here to see Albert. I'll have great memories for many years. I wish Pujols & his family the best though & pray that God uses his family in mighty ways to impact the City of Anaheim & that he would be a light to his Angel teammates.

While on a date a number of years ago, I was with a guy who was preparing to go to seminary. His desire was to one day move to Africa serving on the mission field. Opposed to baseball (he saw it as a waste of time), he wanted to know if I'd be able to be away from the game. I believe baseball is America's great pastime & I'm proud that my sister & I have had many years to enjoy watching games...watching them with our dad to be more specific. However, my desire for the nations to know Jesus far outweighs my love for baseball. I pray that as many are hurt, bitter & furious with Albert; they would pause a moment to first ask themselves when they were given permission to be Albert's judge & secondly, move forward knowing that there are things that are much more important. There is anger that is righteous & anger that is not. Being angry at Albert for leaving is not righteous. Daily, many are dying of starvation in North Korea, Eritrea, Haiti, Yemen & many other places. Everyday young children are exploited & sold into sex slavery in Sudan, Iran, Korea...again; all over the world. Right here in America, precious babies lives are cut short before they're even given a chance to live. Abortion runs rampant. I think these things provoke the anger of God (& should cause us to be angry) much more than Albert Pujols leaving St. Louis. God has called us to something far greater than baseball. I pray that our hearts would be weeping over lost souls; not over Albert's departure. Millions await the good news of Jesus Christ & His plan to give them life everlasting...such can't be found in baseball, Albert Pujols or millions of dollars. By all means, I've had to bow my knee & my heart in repentance for my attitude about this situation but I'm thankful to God for reminding me of that which truly matters.

Surprise! Quick Trip to the Southland

Bewildered when I received my schedule a few weeks ago & noticed that I was going to have a 4 day weekend, my first thought was that I MUST travel to Alabama. As some of you know, my mom was born, raised & lived in AL until marrying my dad at age 19. All of my mom's family (including my mema & uncle) reside in AL. Due to only receiving 2 weeks vacation/year & a number of other factors; I had not been down to visit in 2 years+. As I prepare for life overseas, these next few years will be hectic for me; I'll most likely have even fewer opportunities to travel south. I had hoped to find someone or several someone's to keep me company for the drive. Unfortunately, such was not possible. Still, I did not let being alone stop me from going. GPS was ready & off I went.

As I made the drive, many things crossed my mind. I saw the sign that said "Trenton" & could remember my parents stopping there on our road-trips when Haley & I were kids. Just like "Trenton", "Clarksville" was another town that I remembered from our childhood. I pictured Haley & I sitting in the back of our mini-van (beige/yellow in color) & then our full-size van (burgundy) eating Nabisco's Better Cheddar's. Those were ALWAYS a snack for the 8 hour trek to Ft. Payne. Sure, we had other snacks as well but those are the ones I vividly remember. I can't express the nostalgia that took place when I entered Dierbergs (a local grocer) about a year ago, was walking down the Cracker/Cookie Aisle & saw the Red Box with the Yellow, Round-Shaped Crackers that said "Better Cheddar" across it. Though expensive, I bought a box & hurried home to share them with Haley. I'm pretty sure she was just as enthused as I was.

Above: Visiting my Aunt Lottie. Her husband (my Uncle Charlie; my papa's brother) passed away in early September. Due to everything going on with my dad, none of us were able to be at the funeral or burial. I don't remember a time when we would go to AL & not see Aunt Lottie & Uncle Charlie.

Though the trip was brief, I had a nice time visiting with my mema & Uncle Rog as well as my Aunt Wanda, Uncle Bill, Aunt Lottie & Cousins: Kristy, Melissa, Scott & Meleah. Just so happened that the Cardinals had just made in into the playoffs as the Wildcard Team & while I was down there, they had 2 games against the Milwaukee Brewers. Mema, Rog & I sat on the sofa watching both games intently. 1 game had a not-so-great outcome; the other was perfect. Notice: Mema proudly wearing her 2006 World Series Champs shirt in the pic below.

Autumn is such a beautiful time of year that I was hoping to capture a bit of that through the camera lens. Rog was kind enough to take me to DeSoto Falls to enjoy the splendor of the turning leaves.

He & I had quite the adventure there. Those who know me well know that athletic, coordinated, graceful & adventurous are not words usually associated with me. I proved that yet again during our walk through the park. I'm sure that if you each could have seen me trying to jump from one rock to another over a very small rush of water, you would have been well-humored. After a tiring day of rock climbing & hiking, we went home & mema prepared one of my favorite meals for me: Homemade Chicken & Dumplings, Fried Squash & Shelly Beans (green beans). I know, a very healthy balanced meal. Hey, I get it once every 5,6 or 7 years (if that). I think it was OK!

After 2 full days in Alabama, it was time for me to meander back home to St. Louis. Not unlike many return trips home, the day started with rain. I just prayed that God would cause the rain to cease for it it continued on, the drive home would be that much more difficult for me. Thankfully, by the time I reached Franklin, TN to meet some dear friends of mine for lunch; the rain began to stop. I never saw another drop of rain again. As I switched from station to station, CD to CD, I again had flashbacks. My dad has always been a fanatic about Christmas music. That is something he has passed down to both of his daughters. Haley & I LOVE Christmas music! Each year, when we go to AL for Thanksgiving, our return home would consist of 8 hours of Christmas Music while my mom would say, "It's too early to be listening to this stuff." Yet, listen we would.

So many memories, such special times throughout the years. Those thoughts coming to the surface after so long made me all the more thankful for God's goodness to our family in the healing miracle of my dad's health over the course of these last few months. The times I've shared with all of my family for the last 31 years are times I will cherish for a lifetime.

As good as it was to visit AL, it was nice to return home. When reaching St. Louis, I did not immediately come to my house. Instead, I went by the university as the meeting with the International Students was taking place & many of them had contacted me asking when I'd be returning. As I raced to get to the school & the students were on my mind, I got to thinking. I was so pleased to come home after just a few days. I can't imagine the homecoming I'll receive & the happiness I'll feel when I one day come home after being overseas for years. As I approached St. Louis, I could see the Arch. When I see the Arch, I know that I'm almost there; almost "home." I wonder, what do you see in your city or state that lets you know you're almost home when you've been away? The Arch was a pleasant sight for me to behold but I'm anxious for the day when, for a period, something else will represent "home" to me. Will it be the Changu Narayan Temple in the Kathmandu Valley? Could it be the Taj Mahal in Agra, India? These things I do not know yet. I look forward to the future with a happy remembrance of the past & great eagerness for the road ahead.

Memories of 9/11

In 2008, I shared my memories of 9/11. Again, I share my reflections as recorded 3 years ago. A decade after the most horrific day I've watched yet, I say "Happy 10th Birthday Victoria Rose!" When September 11 approaches it year, it is always a time to remember. Every year, my heart aches for those that lost so much & prays that many would find hope in that which is everlasting - the hope of Jesus Christ. My memories of 9/11:

September 11, 2001 is not a day that any of us will most likely ever forget. Now, 7 years later, it almost seems unreal that so much time has passed. I'm sure throughout the course of your day, like me, you have conversed with someone about your memories of 9/11. For me, I was headed into work. I am sure I was listening to a CD rather than the radio because otherwise, I probably would have heard something about all that was taking place. I pulled into work & as I opened the door & walked into the store, I could hear what sounded like a television. Sure enough, as I approached the back of the store, my boss & another coworker were looking upward--to the TV mounted on the wall. I saw smoke coming from one of the Twin Towers & as many did, figured it was a movie or something. Neither one of the ladies said a word but kept their eyes glued to the TV. Within minutes, we heard the news anchors stating that an airplane had just flown through one of the Towers. At that time, they still were not thinking it was a terrorist attack. Even as the time approached to open the store for the day, we kept the TV on & remained in the back focused on what we were viewing. As things kept unfolding & we learned more, our hearts ached & we fought back tears. I remember a numbness sweeping over me as I saw the horrific images repeatedly. During this time, Michael W. Smith's first worship album had recently released. Naturally, we were playing it in the store. We already had the music on & I vividly recall that as we watched the Towers crumble, the song "Forever" was playing in the store. As I listened to the song, I began to sing along there in the store with my voice shaking..."Forever God is Faithful, Forever God is true, Forever God is with us, Forever." Further along, the song says, "But by the Grace of God we will carry on, His love endures forever." Indeed, 7 years later & Praise God, there has not been another terrorist attack on U.S. soil. In the good times & the bad, He has remained faithful, true & with us & without a doubt, His love has & always will endure.Despite the many lives that were lost that day, I am pleased that God brought our Rosey-Posey into the world on that day. Today, Rose is 7 years old. While we watched New York City, the Pentagon & Pennsylvania from work & home, my Cousin Chanda was in Oklahoma giving birth to her firstborn daughter. Even still, she watched from her hospital room. I venture to say that no family member will ever struggle to remember when Rose's birthdate is. I am so glad that God blessed our family with this little girl. Not only is Rose beautiful on the outside, she has such a sweet spirit that loves to help people. Today, September 11, I say, "Happy Birthday Rosey-Posey!" So these are the things that will always come to my mind each year on 9/11.