First let me state that no, I am not pregnant & no, I am not participating in an April Fool's Day joke to claim that I am. I remember expressing my displeasure with such a joke a few years ago & today, I find myself doing so again. I have seen countless individuals posting things all over Facebook about how they went to the store today to buy a test & learned that they will no longer be a family of 2 but of 3, their "only" child will now have a sibling, etc. All of these implying that they are "expecting". I have seen so many of these that I would probably not even be able to count how many. While I like a good prank & am all for good times & fun, I think it's wise to remember that some jokes, though not intended to hurt others, bring about great pain. How could such a joke be an issue?
Less than 2 years ago, a good friend of mine suffered an Ectopic Pregnancy in which she lost her baby. She & her husband have been trying to conceive for quite a while & she just learned within the last couple of weeks that she has cysts on her Fallopian Tubes. The doctor told her that she may never be able to have a child. She was told that IVF may be her only hope. She has shed many tears over the thought of not being able to conceive & give birth to a little baby & even more so knowing that she does not have thousands of dollars for IVF. She would give anything to get pregnant & give birth to a child. While she celebrates with other women who learn they are expecting, she smiles when she sees babies around; she also cries when no one is looking because she longs to be a mom.
She is just one example. For years after they married, my cousin & his wife were badgered by many in our family (including myself) about having kids. After many years, they were prepared to go to a meeting on adoption when they learned they were pregnant. It was only then that we discovered that all of those years, they had been trying to conceive but were unable to. Each time someone mentioned it to them, it was like stabbing them with a knife & twisting it. I learned then that I would never again do such as we never know what people are going through. Their greatest desire was to be parents & yet, for so long, it was not happening.
Now, I consider my own life. After my strokes & heart surgery, I learned that I have a gene mutation that causes my blood to be more prone to clotting (thus the reason for my strokes). At that time, I was informed that because of these mutation, conceiving may be very difficult for me & should I conceive, my pregnancy would be considered high-risk. For those with this gene mutation, conceiving is difficult & miscarrying is common. I never would have thought such would bother me but when I heard those words; it was rough. I am thankful to be marrying a man who will love me regardless & I'm even more thankful for a faith that goes beyond what doctors say.N.P. & I trust that if it is God's will for me to one day carry a child, He will make that happen. All things are in His Hands. Still, that all being said...it does not change the fact that there are many ladies whose hearts are aching for motherhood & yet, for whatever reasons, it has not happened. I think there is a time for joking & things to kid about. Not my intention to scold anyone who has taken part in trying to pull one over on someone with this particular joke today but just encourage you to really think about things first. For those that know me, my sarcasm is not surprising. However, there are times when I have really damaged relationships/people with my words. Over the years, I've tried to think more about what I am saying as I never wish to hurt someone - I pray I show love. I definitely want to be one showing love to those ladies out there whose hearts are aching to be mom's. I know that to joke about something they desperately desire is not the way to go. While you may never have thought about it, there may be someone on your friend's list who is like me, my cousin & his wife or my friend. Today, when they saw you joking about something they wish would happen in their life -( to take a pregnancy test & get a positive result, to go for an ultrasound & to hear a heartbeat, to experience morning sickness, to see their belly grow as their baby develops, to go shopping for baby clothes/furniture/diapers, & to give birth to a little bundle of joy) - tears may have streamed down their face. Just a thought.
