Our Family Motto

A couple of years ago or so, the Missions Pastor from our church challenged myself & the rest of the Missions Team to find a scripture that defined our life - be it a favorite verse or something that really spoke to the heart of who we were in Christ. Not long after NP & I married, I mentioned that perhaps we ought do the same as a couple; find a verse(s) that we wanted to be representative of who we are. We did not do so. Not too long ago, some ladies from our Life Group at church returned from a Women's Conference. One of the ladies was sharing that they were encouraged by one of the speakers to create a Family Motto or, just as I had said, have a family verse. I mentioned this to NP again the other night & we sat down & began to discuss God's Word. In doing so, the above is what we decided upon. NP has known what it is to have his faith tested. Yet, even when his family turned their back on him at the time he converted to Christianity from Hinduism, he still rejoiced & praised the Lord; the God who saved him. From the time we began talking to one another, NP has repeatedly told me that no matter what comes our way, he desires that we will ALWAYS turn back to praise Jesus saying, "Blessed be the Name of Our Lord". Our faith should not be dependent upon our financial status, the home we have, if God chose to bless us with children, etc. We should, in all things, rejoice. As we raise the precious son that God has entrusted into our care - this will be our verse - our Family Motto so-to-speak. We may not have the best of the best when it comes to a place to live, we may not wear designer clothes, we might not be able to dine at fancy restaurants but we will know without question that He is, in all things at all times our provider, our Jehovah-Jireh. We will never lack for anything that He can't give & He has already given to us the very best - salvation. Yes, our family - WE WILL REJOICE IN THE LORD! WE WILL BE JOYFUL IN THE GOD OUR SALVATION!

The Beginning of Motherhood

Three months ago, NP & I welcomed our first child into the world. Over these few months, I’ve been learning a lot as my life has drastically changed. I have not learned it all & will continuing learning daily. However, I’ve come a long way since day 1. Many may be unaware & it seems it is a topic that often goes undiscussed or silenced but…I battled Postpartum Depression badly after having Zeke. I found myself crying frequently for reasons I could not explain. Of course, that is not unusual of Postpartum. Never had I felt so overwhelmed. I felt like I would feed Zeke, pump, sit down, look at the clock & see that in a couple hours I’d repeat it all. My life had no purpose at the time as I didn’t feel that anything of importance was being accomplished. Granted I was doing exactly what I needed to be doing (caring for my child), I was not seeing that at the time.  Mundane moments all day long – so it seemed.  I felt like a failure as a mother – that I was incapable of doing anything right. Later, I’ll talk about my trial with trying to breastfeed. That matter also added to my depression. After crying hysterically one night (though there were many such nights), my dad suggested that I needed to get on some medication. I was very adamant that I did not want to do so – doing so would suggest that I was crazy. “Normal” people don’t have to take stuff for this surely. After being extremely transparent with my doctors about how I was feeling, they too agreed that I was in need of something temporarily. While am still taking the meds, I forget the majority of the time & thankfully, it’s not even noticeable. I’ve come to understand that it’s OK to ask for help. There is nothing wrong with admitting you have a problem. As Dr. Phil would say, “You can’t fix what you don’t acknowledge.”  Why am I sharing this? So that if someone else is going through the same thing they understand that they are not alone; someone else has walked in their shoes. I’ve been there. By the grace of God, I’m doing much better. So, some of the things I’ve learned over the last 3 months of parenting are:

-          My nurse practitioner’s advice was some of the best received: “Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing…this is your child, your family. You decide what works for you. And, don’t get on those d*** blogs as if you do, you’ll never feel like you are doing anything right.” Everyone wants to give advice & while some may be helpful (& even appreciated), NP & I will choose what we believe is best for our child be it to vaccinate, not vaccinate; breastfeed or feed by bottle; pacifier or no pacifier, etc.

If you have a little boy, you want to make sure the clean diaper is right there with you when you go ahead to change the wet/dirty one. There is no “spare” time with little boys as you never know when they might fire away!

-          People can be so cruel & harsh with their words (this I already knew as I sometimes am guilty myself). Originally, I had no desire to breastfeed whatsoever. Though I know God gave us ladies breasts so that we could feed our children, the concept was, in all honesty, repulsive to me. I couldn’t envision it for myself. Again, for those who choose that route, that is their business. I was not interested. Yet, I knew that financially, breastfeeding was in our best interest. I made every effort to do so but things simply were not working. While I’m sure seeking help from a Lactation Consultant may have been beneficial, we did not have money for me to do so. After trying unsuccessfully to breastfeed & then not even being able to produce enough milk when pumping, NP & I made the joint decision that it was time for me to give it up. I have had several people imply that I was “taking the easy way out” or “not trying hard enough.” I have heard it all…”kids that are breastfed have higher IQ’s; they’re smarter.” Maybe there is truth to that, maybe there is not. I don’t really care. My son’s IQ will not determine his worth & value nor will my love for him be dependent upon what his level of intellect is. My sister & I neither one were breastfed & though we may not be geniuses or great scholars, we’ve turned out OK. More than having a brilliant mind, we have manners, common sense & are rooted in our faith. Those things are far more important for Zekee to have!  Though I did not look forward to breastfeeding prior to his birth, I began to cherish that time with Ezekiel. Deciding to give it up was not easy – not easy at all. I struggled so much that I would just cry because I could not get Zeke to latch &/or my supply was not enough at all. I was not sitting around celebrating the fact that I no longer was able to breastfeed. However, Zekee having a mommy that was emotionally OK & stable enough to care for him was most important at the time. Children can sense when we are tense, when we have problems.

  

-          When using formula, it’s always best to make sure you shake the bottle to make sure the formula & water get mixed. If you don’t do this, you may find that your baby pukes all over the place later.

-          I was not the biggest fan of using a pacifier but I much prefer that than Zeke sucking on his thumb. I am certain it will be much easier to get him detached from the paci but impossible to get him away from his thumb as I can’t take his hand away. So, though he uses a pacifier & that is fine, he still seems to try to stick his entire fist into his mouth whenever his pacifier is not with him. Sometimes it makes me crazy but I’ve learned that it’s OK…it’s not the end of the world.

-          One can never have enough sleepers & burp cloths. Seems that every time I turn around, Zeke has outgrown a sleeper & is need of another one. Burp cloths all over the place…several in Zeke’s room, several in our family room. 1 goes on each sofa, 1 is on his pallet in the floor & so forth. Yet, there never seems to be one where I need it when I need it. If he’s going to spit up while I’m changing his diaper, rest assured the burp cloth is probably not near me!

-          I used to only like children once they could begin interacting & talking to me. Babies were boring. Now, I have seen that is so far from the truth. Zeke is anything but dull. I could sit & watch him all day not just because he’s my son & is so precious but because he makes hilarious faces. I am sure that before, I would think it seemed like a lifetime before a baby grew to the point I’d be interested. Now that I have Ezekiel, I’m seeing how fast time goes by. He’ll be at that age soon enough to where he’s moving all about & getting into everything. Already, I miss my tiny baby boy that would rest in my arms so peacefully.

-          People would always tell me “it’s different when it’s your own kid” in regards to liking children in general, being spat upon or dealing with poopy diapers. I assumed it would be different – hoped it would be. It is. If I were to hold a baby & saw that they were about to spit up on me, the first thing I’d do is pass them off onto their parent or someone else. Changing diapers? Forget it. I had never changed one until I was in the hospital ready to bring Ezekiel home. What everyone said? They were right. It is different. I could not care less when Zeke pukes all over me. Doesn’t bother me in the least bit to change his dirty diaper. I’m not saying it’s fun but I do it. He’s my child & I’d do anything for him. I just want him to be well.

-          I’m not above garage sales, hand-me-downs & thrift stores. We are far from wealthy (struggling to keep our heads above water & pay off debt) but everything we do have comes from the Lord & He has called us to be wise stewards. I’ve seen that Zeke outgrows things far too quickly for me to be spending absurd amounts of money on outfits when I can accept used clothes from friends/family or buy gently used clothes for far less. We are thankful for those that remember us & what to offer a helping hand be it with clothes, books, toys or whatever it may be for Zeke.

-          I insisted that Zeke would NOT be in our room with us after birth. No way, Jose’. He had his own room & that’s where he needed to be. Who thinks that happened? If you guessed that it did not, you are correct. Daddy didn’t want him separated from us along but it was I that was the one determined he would be away. Somehow, that changed immediately. I couldn’t bear the thought of him not being in the same room as us. As he slept in the pack & play in our room, none of us were getting much sleep. After a month or so, many were suggesting that he really needed to be in his own room. We finally took heed & put him in his own bed in his own room. We’ve all been sleeping through the night pretty much ever since!

I never dreamed that being a mom would be as wonderful as it is. Never would I have thought that I could ever love someone as much as I love our little boy. Having him is also teaching me a lot about how God must look at us, His children. Becoming a parent is making much more aware of my words & actions as though he may be young, he still hears & sees all that I do. He is learning from me what is right, what is wrong. I must be the Godly example the Lord wants me to be. None of us are perfect parents, nor will we ever be but daily, with God’s help, I am striving to be the very best for the precious child that He has given to me. I’m sure the challenges are not over & the battles will soon be on the way (NP doesn’t think Zeke will be difficult at any point…Haha) – prayers are always appreciated & I’m glad to pray for you too!

Baby Zeke Is Coming Soon!

At times, it almost seems surreal to me that I’m going to have a baby in less than 3 months. In fact, it’s still hard for me to even believe I’m pregnant. Yet, the fact that I am going to the bathroom a lot, have an aching back, frequent heartburn, an ever-growing belly & swollen feet serve as a great reminder. Not to mention, Zeke’s moving all about within me leaves no doubt. Words cannot begin to describe the incredible feeling to have this little man kicking. I now find myself looking down often to “see” him moving. Each time, tears begin to well up.

Psalm 139 is a passage we’ve all heard time & time again. However, it has become that much more profound to me as the weeks pass by & we go in for the ultrasounds to see our son.

¹³ For you formed my inward parts;
    you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
¹⁴ I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
    my soul knows it very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
    intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw my unformed substance;
in your book were written, every one of them,
    the days that were formed for me,
    when as yet there was none of them.

We know not what his skin tone, hair or eye color will be (though we have guesses & assumptions), nor how much he will weigh, how tall he’ll be. We do know though, that Our Creator, God, is making him wonderfully. As we’ve seen his tiny body begin to grow & his cute little fingers uncurl from his hands being in a ball, we have watched in utter awe. As we watch each part of his body being measured & his heart beating, we know that this is the marvelous work of Our Lord. Even though there have been a few (& praise God it has just been a few…I thank Him for that) bad days, being pregnant & experiencing this wonder is by far, one of the best experiences I’ve had in life to date. The love I have for Zeke already is a love that is unlike any other. There is a desire to do anything & everything to protect this child & I’m sure that will only grow in the months & years to come. Daily, I’m gaining more of an insight into God’s great love for us, His children as I prepare to a parent myself.

Some of you asked if we wanted a boy or a girl. While N.p. did have a preference (& he’s getting it), I did not. True, we would be happy regardless of gender as long as the baby is healthy, I had a number of people that told me they thought I was better suited for a boy. After consideration, I think they may be right. You know me. I’m not a real girly girl. I don’t envision myself having to put bows & ribbons in a little girls hair & look for pretty pink outfits every day. As I thought about myself as a teenager & I thought about girls in general, I associate girls with drama. Drama, drama, drama. I remember coming home from school or church mad at so & so because they liked the guy I liked. Tears that seemed as if they would never end. Oh my poor parents. How did they ever survive? Yep, I can deal without that for now. Who knows what the Lord has in store? Will he choose to bless us with more children in the future & if so, will there be a daughter (according to the ole’ wives tale of the pencil test, I’m slated for one more boy & that’s it)? Perhaps the Lord knows that I may be better with a boy to begin. So again, while we would have been thrilled to pieces either way, I’m happy we’re having a boy.

These last 6 months have flown by & soon, we’ll finally hold our son in our arms. Knowing the time is coming is both exciting & daunting as we think of how much there still is to do. I’ve had one baby shower & the outpouring of love was overflowing. Fortunately, we have most of the necessities. The nursery is nowhere near complete. The walls have been painted but new carpet will be installed & once that is done, the crib can be brought in as well as a storage unit, rocker glider, etc. My sister can then work her magic (she’s volunteered to decorate Zeke’s room. Since I have 0 artistic abilities or knowledge of interior design, I’m graciously allowing her to run with it). While there is much to think about, I’m really trying to enjoy my time with NP as much as possible before our family of 2 becomes a family of 3 & our lives change drastically (in a good way though!). Some of you have asked if there is anything we need or what you can do for us. Honestly, if you are wanting to give a gift…DIAPERS. LOTS & LOTS of DIAPERS! More than any gift money can buy, I ask for your continued prayers. My health has been great – no complications or issues thus far & Zeke is doing well too. Please pray that such would continue to be the case & that when the time comes, I would have a safe delivery & a healthy baby boy. Please pray that I will be well enough to continue working right up until Zeke’s birth. NP is still searching for a job so I definitely need to be working as much as I can be. Pray also that God would bring about employment for NP very soon. We are choosing to trust Him & know that He’ll provide. I am entitled to 12 weeks Maternity Leave but will only be paid for those that I have enough PTO to cover. By the time Zeke comes, that should be about 6 weeks. My intent is to be off the entire 12 weeks but financially, I’m not sure that such will be possible. Also, our plan has been that my mother would be taking care of Baby Zeke. For the last few months, she’s been battling gout & unable to even walk at times. Clearly, tending to the needs of an infant would be near impossible for her if this gout continues to take over. That being said, I now am having to begin looking for other options. Financially, that will eat away at us but emotionally, I’m having a hard time dealing with the thought of taking Zeke elsewhere. I know millions of moms do so but there is something about my son spending more time with someone other than a family member that bothers me. Knowing someone else would be bonding with him 8-11 hours a day over his mommy is difficult. Lastly, please pray that these remaining couple months as a couple will be a blessed time for us & that we may cherish our time together, growing in Christ as we await parenthood & hope to raise our son in the way of the Lord.

The Impossible Made Possible Through Him

After my strokes in 2007, I learned that I had a gene mutation making my blood prone to clotting. At that time, I received some news that was not easy for me to absorb. Those with this particular gene mutation, generally have a hard time conceiving & if they do conceive, their pregnancies usually result in miscarriages. What I gathered from that was that I might never be able to have children. I was told that should I ever conceive, I would be high-risk & would need to see a high-risk OBGYN (perinatologist) immediately.

Fast forward 5 years to the moment I knew that God was leading N.P. & I to marry one another. I shared with him the news that I had been given in regards to the likelihood that I'd never have kids. I told him that if having children was of utter importance to him, I might not be the girl for him. His response was, "Whether the Lord chooses to bless us with children or not, we will say Blessed be the Name of Our Lord & praise Him." I LOVED his response. However, that did not stop me from having such concerns again. Even the week before our wedding, I was bawling like a baby one night to him saying, "What if I can never give you a child?" He reminded me of that which he had said before as well as the fact that God is in control & that though the doctors may say one thing, that does not mean that is what will be.

Here we are, 3 months into our marriage & astounded by His marvelous work. As God has had to do with me time after time, He's again calling me to have faith & trust Him. That which I thought was most likely impossible, He is making possible. After having some symptoms of pregnancy, I took an at-home test on May 31st. To say I was surprised when the test came back positive would be an understatement. I figured I was probably wasting my money on the test because, after all, it should be hard for me to get pregnant & N.P. & I had only been married for a little over a month. I was stunned. Knowing that there was a possibility that the test could be wrong, right away I made an appointment with my doctor. They got me in within days & the blood tests confirmed that indeed, I was pregnant. Question was, was the pregnancy within the uterus. A week later, N.P. & I went for my first ultrasound & tears streamed down my face when all of a sudden, there appeared OUR baby. Now, almost 11 weeks along & after 3 ultrasounds, Baby Sharma is looking great - growing as he/she should.

Though our child is not even the size of a lime & I cannot feel him/her moving yet, God has already given me a profound love for this baby. Never thought anything could move me like this has. Each time an ultra-sound is done & our baby appears on the screen, I'm weeping in amazement at this little miracle. N.P. & I covet your prayers. Many of you may wonder...what about my health? I am high-risk & therefore, must visit the perinatologist every 2 weeks for the time being. Closer to the due date, I will have to go once a week. While I have been taken off of my blood-thinners, I must inject myself with a shot daily to help thin my blood as during pregnancy, blood clots can be even more likely. My irregular, rapid heartbeat is being monitored too as that could also effect the baby. Please pray for the health of our sweet little one that God is growing within me as well as my health. Obviously, at 11 weeks (tomorrow), we are still not out of the concerning time period. And, anything could happen at anytime. However, we are trusting that God is protecting our little one & has great things in store for this life.

While "our" plans may have included thinking of children down the road (a year from now or so), clearly, God has other plans for us. We know that His plans are ALWAYS greater too. We choose to trust Him through this exciting time & know that He will give us all we need to move into the role as not just marriage partners but parents as well. We're ecstatic over God's goodness to us & we can't quit smiling. Now, if you'll excuse me...must return to our baby name discussion. I've managed to rule out Barnabas & Bartholomew. Yep, someone (actually, a lot of people) seems to think this baby is a boy. Girl or boy, we'll love the child just the same. To God be all the glory!

The Road Ahead

April 12th was picture perfect. Roughly 70 something degrees, sun shining with not a cloud in sight & the day we’d prayed about for so very long had finally arrived. Our wedding could not have been any better. Those I love surrounded me & the man my heart adores became my husband. By now, most of you have probably seen pictures (still awaiting the ones from the professional photographer). If not, let me know…we’ll get them to you or tell you how to access them! We did not have time to talk in depth to anyone at the wedding & the most popular question we had that day & are still being asked is regarding our plans now, how long we’ll be here in the U.S. & so forth. Most of you don’t know where we’re headed at this time so here it is: After prayerful consideration & discussions with others, we have come to a mutual agreement that we should pursue a Green Card. You may be wondering why so when the plan has not been to remain here in the U.S. While obtaining the Green Card would not only allow N.P. to stay here longer & familiarize himself more with American culture, it would also enable him to come back here should we return to Nepal & need to get back here quickly in the case of an emergency. Without the Green Card, if we were living in Nepal & an emergency arose, he would have to apply for a travel visa (which, he was denied once in 2012). Not only would there be no time to do so but the cost of having to do this a number of times would outweigh the overall cost of the Green Card. I have been in contact with numerous Immigration Attorneys getting their fees & while I’m overwhelmed (we both are) by the cost & wonder where we will get the money, every part of our relationship has been orchestrated, brought about by God, involved a lot of faith & I trust He’ll supply all we need for this as well. In talking to the attorneys, their time quotes vary – roughly, 3-12 months on average to obtain the Green Card. During this application process, N.P. will be unable to leave the U.S. as doing so forfeits the application. Once we begin, he must stay here until the Green Card is granted. Within an estimated 90 days of filing for the Green Card, N.P. “should” receive his SSN & permit to work. Until then, he cannot work for pay (so, if anyone needs a volunteer to help with something; specifically ministry focused, let me know!). Meanwhile, I will continue on at the credit union although, as of May 1st, I will move into the position of Lead Teller. [Heather Wood] What about ministry? We are praying & seeking the Lord’s guidance, wisdom & direction. We know of a particular opportunity that we “may” have but also want to be open to where the Lord wants us to be. Currently, N.P. is attending church with me at my church home, First Baptist Harvester. Upon meeting the Pastor, Bob Ingle, N.P. loved him. Once he heard him preach for the first time, N.P. loved him even more. As pastors, they have much in common & we could not be any happier being a part of the flock at Harvester. However, if God wills for us to be elsewhere to serve, we want to be obedient to that. If we may ask you to pray for some things: - Pray that we would trust the Lord to provide what is needed financially for the Green Card process (attorney fees, filing fees, etc.) - Pray that the process would move quickly & smoothly. - Pray that N.P. may be granted the work permit even sooner than expected so that he can begin to look for work. - Pray for N.P. as he continues to adjust to a new place, new people, new food, new EVERYTHING! - Pray for our marriage that we might continue to grow closer to one another & that our marriage may be made stronger for the Glory of Christ each day. - Pray that God would guide us as to where He desires us to be as far as a church home/place to serve Him. - Pray for continued good health for us both – specifically N.P. though (I am in the process of getting him added to my health insurance). We are so very grateful to each of you that took time out of your busy schedules to come share in our special day (for those that were not able to, we are working on trying to get the wedding video uploaded so we may post in on Facebook for your viewing). We hope that as we were blessed, so were you too. We thank you for your ongoing prayer support. If we may pray for you, please let us know!

I'm Getting Married!!

This afternoon, my brother (of course, not my biological brother as I do not have any of those but still...I count him as my brother), came by for a brief visit. As he was leaving, he told me to have fun these last 3 days as a free woman. Granted I am not getting married on Wednesday, I do not have feel as though I'm going to be bound in chains & misery once N.P. arrives here nor after our marriage. My life (& N.P.'s) is about to change drastically. When I think of the many changes headed our way, I do not view them as chores, duties & drudgery. No, I think of getting to be married to him, getting to serve him & care for him as a honor, a privilege & a blessing from the very One who has given him to me. I write now because I know I will have no spare moment to do so before the wedding.

Almost seems surreal that in 3 short days, I will be at the airport picking up my future husband & in the coming days, we'll be busy getting everything prepared for our wedding day. There was a time in life when I questioned whether or not I'd ever see such a day. I've shared before but will do so again...I did not date in high school, I did not date after high school. I had interests but it was never mutual with any guy. I went on a few dates in my mid-20's & each was short-lived. One date was all it took for me to know that to continue on would be a waste of my time, their time & above all, the Lord's time. I was not interested in dating just to date or seeing someone just for the sake of having a boyfriend. My belief from a young age had been that if I were to date, it was with the purpose of marriage in mind. If I could not envision the guy as a potential mate for the future, no need in continuing on. My standards have always been high & I've never been willing to compromise on them. When others would tell me that I was too picky, I kept going back to the same thing.."I will not settle. I will not take less than God's best for me. When I stand at the altar one day to say 'I do' to someone, it will be for life. It will not be I do just until you make me mad a few months in & then I'm leaving you. No, I do means forever." I've been through the phase of watching the majority of my friends marry & have children by now. I'd sit on the sideline longing, praying, wishing & hoping - never willing to just give in for temporary happiness though. Thankful that through poor decisions, God's hand of protection was upon me leading me to do that which was right. Wait. Trust. Pray.

To marry at 34 is a bit unusual here in the U.S. I believe. Most, marry when they are younger. Obviously, that was not the Lord's plan for my life. In His good & perfect timing, He has not only allowed N.P. & I to meet & grow in love in the strangest of ways but He is bringing N.P. to me very soon. Wedding preparations have been taking place rapidly & yes, I'm tired. Invitations have been mailed out. My best pal has hired someone to play my favorite instrument at the wedding.My longtime friend is set to sing. The cake has been picked out as well as the flavor(s). My aunts are working on tabletop decorations. The florists has been paid & will do a fantastic job with the flowers I'm sure. The guys have been fitted for their tuxes. My bridesmaids have their dresses. Everything is getting done. As I have tried my dress on & looked at myself in the mirror, I've envisioned the look upon N.P.'s face when he sees me come into view as I walk down the aisle. I am not a girly girl. I do not like getting dressed to the nine & being wined & dined at fancy restaurants. That's not who I am. No, I am the girl happy to wear jeans, a t-shirt & eat relaxed at a burger joint. Yet, I'm hoping that on our wedding day, I'll look my very best & that N.P. will be blown away by, yes, outward beauty that day (thankfully for me, he finds me beautiful all days regardless as to how I look. In fact, he's asked before why I put make-up on & said I don't need that stuff). I know that most likely, some kind of glitch will occur during the day. That does not & will not matter. What will matter is that at the end of the day, I will be Mrs. Narayan Prasad Sharma. Though we want a beautiful wedding ceremony & pray that Christ is glorified in all that is said & done, our prayer is that in the days, weeks, months & years that follow; Christ would cause our love for one another to grow & flourish even more so. Our prayer as a couple is that He would use our marriage to be a reflection of His love to a lost & dying world.

So, as N.P. will arrive in just a few days & April 12 quickly approaches, I once again give thanks to God for His amazing son, N.P. Thank You, Father, for blessing me with this man who is passionately pursuing you & will lead me & our future family to do the same. Lord, please grant safe travels as N.P. makes his way here this week. Put a hedge of protection around him as he comes. May he be in good health & well-rested. Lord, may these days leading up to the wedding be a very special time for relationships & friendships to blossom between N.P. & so many. God, we ask You to be at the center of everything we do & who we are as individuals & as we become one. Lord, use us as You see fit. Thank You for the love You have given us which in turn, allows us to love one another. Continue to let these weeks of preparation & planning go smoothly but let not our eyes be turned away from You. May we say, "Blessed be the Name of Our Lord." Amen.

Happy 35th Birthday Mr. Sharma!

I had hoped that by this time, I’d be standing beside you as your wife celebrating your birthday with you. However, as I shared with T.R.’s students when I visited in January, Proverbs 16:9 is a reoccurring theme in my life. Once again, we had OUR plans but it is HIM who directs our steps. I trust that all of this is for HIS glory; though difficult it is to be far from you, the man my heart adores. I understand that in every relationship, there will be highs & lows; difficulties & trials. Emerging two cultures together within a marriage brings about other aspects that most couples will never face. Yet, I know that if we keep Christ at the center of our lives & our relationship, He will sustain us. In our differences, is the fact that at this very moment, your face is probably red & blushing with embarrassment that my words to you are being read before all of your friends, co-workers & students. My culture says that there is nothing wrong with displaying love & affection publicly. That can definitely be taken too far & there is a time & place for everything I agree. As a Christian bride-to-be, I want the entire world to know that God has not only poured out His love for me as He sent His only son to the cross to die on my behalf but He has shown me love again by giving me you, N.P. The Bible says that every good & perfect gift comes from the Father above. Next to my salvation, you are the greatest gift I’ve ever been blessed with. So, my dear husband-to-be, oblige me while I brag on you a bit. I can hear you now saying, “Heather, we do not boast…I am not good. We boast only in God & the work He has done.” You are right. Apart from Him, you are no good; nor am I, nor is anyone else. You have your faults as I have my faults as well. Your willingness to recognize, acknowledge, admit them & seek to be conformed into His image daily sets you apart from so many. I see that & see such beauty. With each day that passes, you become more & more attractive to me. Many things can be said on the phone, through e-mail & even on Skype. Yet, once I came to you in January, I was able to see that the authenticity I depicted over the months was actuality. I thought I was going to be meeting a guy that was sincere, real, genuine, caring, compassionate & while you were (& are) all of those things, you are so much more. Spending time with you in person, one-on-one was better than I could ever have imagined. Even so, that is not the thing that impressed me the most when I was there. Watching your interaction with others brought me to tears several time as I saw within you, the love that you have for people. I asked Shang Lama to inquire among the students what it is they like about you &/or things they admire about you. Shang shared with me that the students said that you are caring & like a friend to them. I saw that side of you in just two short weeks of being with you. I saw your caring, kind, compassionate side as I voiced frustrations & you listened & encouraged me. Definitely that was seen when I became sick & you did not hesitate at all to rush to my side to help me. You are, just as you should be, my best friend. I am thankful for the fact that even while you must be authoritative & lead your students, many of them know you & trust you as their friend that they can come to for Godly wisdom & counsel. I am so pleased to be marrying such a man. I cannot be with you on this, your special day but if the Lord wills, I will be there for your next birthday. My prayer is that of Proverbs 9:11, that by Him, your days will be multiplied & years may be added to your life.” I would like to offer up a prayer for you on this day.

Gracious Lord, Author & Giver of Life,
Today, I come to You thanking You for Your creation; N.P. I praise You because before he was even born You knew him, You created him in Your inmost being. You chose him & have had great plans for him in which You are continually working through him to accomplish Your purpose. God, I thank You not just for giving him life physically but for breathing life eternal into him by the power of Your Holy Spirit. Father, I thank You for drawing him to Yourself & for making Your will & ways known to him. I thank, You, Jesus that even from a world away as my grandparents, parents & I prayed for many years for God to send me a Godly mate; You have heard our petition & sent me N.P. Lord, we are not guaranteed tomorrow but we trust You with every moment You give us. Father, I ask that You continue to guide & direct N.P. on the path of righteousness. God, let him call upon You & seek Your face for every decision that must be made. May You fill him with Your wisdom & Your knowledge. Draw him closer & closer to Your side daily. Father, may You use him to fulfill Your work here on Earth for Your kingdom in heaven. May he be Your mouthpiece to a lost & dying people that desperately are in need of You. Jesus, may he praise You in the good times & in the bad with the understanding that through trials & tribulations, You are perfecting his faith. Father, I pray that Your hand be upon him that he may remain in good health. Give him rest when he is weary & strength when he is weak. Remind him each day that he belongs to You, he is YOUR child & You love him unconditionally forever. God, I thank You for the ways You have worked in his life thus far & I praise You in advance for that which You are going to do in & through Your son Narayan. Jesus, it is in Your most holy, precious name – the only name in which one can be saved that I ask these things, Amen.

 N.P., my love, I close this extremely long letter out by wishing you the very best birthday. Yes, 35 sounds old to you but thank the Lord for blessing you with 35 years. I love you with all of my heart & cannot wait to be Mrs. Sharma!