Big Faith

Our pastor has been preaching a series on Spiritual Gifts. As we have learned more about the specific gifts & hopefully discovered our gifts individually, I've come to know that "faith" is not one of my spiritual gifts. While I have faith, I do not have the spiritual gift of faith. I've known that for a long time. However, I do know that there are many that God has given that gift to. At this point in time in my life, there is something that I long for and yet, I have little confidence that God can work in the situation. Yes, I am the "Oh Ye, of little faith" person. I know that God cares about every detail of our life. Both the big things & the small things--the things we deem insignificant our close to His heart because WE are His beloved. While that which is on my mind may seem unimportant to many, I know that it is huge to my Heavenly Father for He desires the very best for me & has my best interest at heart. May I seek to trust that His will, WILL be done in this situation as well as every other area of my life if I will just wholly submit.

Reunited & It Feels So Good

"A brother does not have to necessarily say anything to you-he can sit in a room and be together with you and just be completely comfortable with you." - AnonymousA little over a year ago (on January 12th to be exact), I entered into the apartment of a friend of mine & was introduced to 3 new incoming students from Nepal (Dilesh, Narayan & Ishwor). Though I felt kind of like a mother hen immediately with a need to watch over them & make sure they'd get adjusted, I never would have guessed the effect they would have on me. As I sat there trying to get them to open up to me, I would never have dreamt that I would or could love them so deeply. My bond with them grew quite strong over just a few short months shared together. My heart ached badly when they decided to leave Lindenwood & transfer elsewhere for schooling. Saying goodbye last May was rather difficult as truly, it was as though I was sending off family members-brothers. Every student I meet is special, no doubt about that. However, as with any relationship, there are those that we are naturally closer to. This is true of the many Nepali students that arrived here for the Spring Semester of 2010. Daily, these students still come to mind. Many months later, I still miss them. For the majority of them, I quickly became a big sister. Nearly every day, at least one of them would call me to inquire into whether or not I'd be coming to campus. I may have just been there the day prior but they would want me to come again. Most of the time, I would gladly oblige. We would typically just sit talking with one another. Sometimes, we would watch Hindi music videos. The main thing was just being together. Being far away from their own families, they loved getting to see Haley & me frequently. As I've already mentioned, these students have all gone from here. 2 of the 3 that I first met, moved to Fairfax, VA. As I prepared to vacation in West Virginia, I checked on the distance between where I would be & where those 2 lived. I found they were roughly about 5 hours away. When I first began planning, we were going to meet halfway to spend a day together. However, I soon realized something. In the dead of winter, there was not going to be any sufficient place to meet halfway to spend time together. Most likely, the only place we could meet would be at a restaurant & it was highly unlikely that they would allow us to sit there for more than a couple of hours. Really, to only meet for a couple hours would not be worth the 2.5 hour drive for anyone-especially if one had to battle through snow for the meeting. Narayan rushed to say that he & Dilesh would drive the 5 hours to come visit me in West Virginia. They were determined that we would be meeting. When I landed in West Virginia, the ground was covered in snow. I feared that the guys might have difficulties making it to me. I was ecstatic when my phone rang & it was the two of them calling to say they were just a couple of minutes away from my friend's house. At last, I saw them coming up the road. Already, tears were beginning to well up. I laughed as Narayan attempted to make it up the snow-packed drive-way & was unable to do so. His tires were spinning like crazy. Finally he just backed out & parked on the street. I got huge hugs from both of them & tried oh so hard not to bawl like a baby. The date was January 17th & there I was, reunited with 2 that I love a lot. Narayan had asked me to try to find something we could do...a park to go to, something, anything. My friends that I was staying with mentioned the New River Gorge Bridge to me. Though we got lost on our way there, we did find the place. Before we had even got out of the car, my prediction came true when I heard one of them say, "It's so cold outside." I had told my friends, PJ & Kasey, that the boys would be complaining about how cold it was outside & they'd not want to be out there for long. Too funny - that we weren't even out walking around yet & I had foreseen what would occur! Unfortunately, due to lots of snowfall there in West Virginia prior to my arrival, the park was closed & we were not able to walk to the base of the bridge to look upwards for pics or anything.

The park ranger said they had been closed for a couple of weeks due to the stairs & pathway being covered in ice. We spent a bit of time there anyway just trying to enjoy what we could. As we were there, one of the guys mentioned that he thought it had been exactly a year to the day since I had taken them to the zoo here in St. Louis. I thought for a moment & he was pretty close in his guess - I had taken them on January 17th, 2009. Amazing that right at a year later, we'd be back together. After we spent some time at the park, I checked the guys into their motel room. I'm sure we were all tired since we all managed to fall asleep. Narayan was the first one to take a snooze. Dilesh put on a movie for he & I & low & behold, I looked & he was no longer watching the movie as he had dozed off. Within minutes, I too had drifted off. The noise of some rustling around awakened me & when I looked, I saw Narayan sitting up in his bed looking over at Dilesh & myself. He said, "Let's move, let's go eat." We went to try out the ONLY Indian Restaurant in Beckley, WV. Doing so, really made me wish they were still here so that we could share Indian & Nepali food together often. We hung out some more & at one point, I was afraid the guys might be a bit bored. I asked them if they were bored. Narayan once again brought tears to my eyes with his answer. He replied, "No. How could we be bored? We are with you."

Again, with them, it only matters to be together. I guess it was probably nearing midnight when they returned me to my friend's house. They'd discussed driving back over the following morning to tell me bye. However, as we were out running around, the snow had begun to come down again. Both had to be back in D.C. for classes by noon the next day so they needed to get a move on things. They chose to say their goodbye's to me that night. I had a hard time letting go of them. I only got 1 day with them & yet, those few hours meant the world to me. Neither will ever know how grateful I am that they took the time to come & see me. Happiness was mine during the time we spent together. Though we'd been apart for nearly 8 months, it felt as if nothing had changed. By far, one of the greatest days I've had since they left St. Louis last May. Dilesh, Narayan: I love you both.... a lot. Thanks again for making my day. I'll not forget it.

Up, Up & Away

Having not boarded a plane since July of 2009, my travels to WV were long overdue. When all other options of vacation places failed (haha, sorry PJ & Kasey) & I decided to then come here to mountain country, I then had to decide which route I wanted to take to get here. Flying was obvious but should I go through Chicago or Atlanta? I opted with Chicago simply because the layovers were longer & I have a great fear of things going badly & my missing a flight. For me, the longer I have to catch a plane; the better. St. Louis was to get snow around the time of my departure & I was nervous that my flight might be delayed or cancelled. Thankfully, neither were the case. I made it to Chicago O'Hare just fine & all went smoothly getting to the next gate. I had a couple of hours to kill before the plane was slated to take off to get me here to WV. I joined many in watching the Bears vs. Seahawks playoff game. Being in Chicago made the intensity of the game a bit more exciting though I really had no preference as to a team to win. I was a bit surprised when over the P.A. system came an announcement that there would be a interdenominational Christian worship service in Terminal 1 at 11:30 a.m. Maybe all airports do this & I was just unaware? Had I not have been in a completely different part of the airport, it may have been interesting to go & check it out. I, however, did not venture that direction. While sitting there, I got teary-eyed when there was another announcement asking everyone to welcome back a Staff Sgt. that was returning from Iraq. They played God Bless America over the system & people began to cheer & clap for the soldier who had finally made it back onto American soil. I only wish I could have seen the celebration when he was reunited with his family. Having been at the airport for a while, it was time to use the facilities (aka, the bathroom). When Haley & I were kids, we used to inspect every bathroom everywhere we went & rate it. I remember my dad even making us up a checklist to carry around with us...guess he found humor in what we were doing. Haley would have LOVED this bathroom. I was fascinated by the toilet & honestly, I nearly got my camera out to video that which was before my eyes. Perhaps I just don't get out much & lead a shelter life but did you know they make automatic toilet seat covers? Yeah, not even kidding. I made my way into the stall dragging all of my carry-ons with me & immediately saw a sign instructing me on usage of the toilet. Wave hand over the sensor & when doing so, watch in amazement as the seat cover rotates. I-N-C-R-E-D-I-B-L-E! Definitely the highlight of O'Hare. St. Louis is not so advanced yet. My flight was to leave at 1:49, boarding at 1:30. At 1:30, I was still sitting at the gate. Flight delayed due to aircraft delay. Rescheduled departure? 2:00. 2:00, still sitting there. Flight delayed again. At last, 2:10, I boarded the plane. A quick 1 hour & 3 min. flight to WV & we touched down on the runway & I saw the smallest airport I think I've seen to date - Yeager Airport here in Charleston, WV. Thus the beginning of my WV adventure.

My Brother, Durga dai

For those reading, you may wonder when I acquired a brother. While I have many brothers now, I have only one big brother. No, we were not separated at birth (to my knowledge, my mom never birthed a son!). In fact, we only met a little over a year ago. I can't recall our meeting place. I only remember thinking that the individual standing before me was someone special. Over the last year, I have come to know just how remarkable Durga is. Like many of my new found friends, Durga is from Nepal. Different from others, he is older than me. "Dai" in Nepali refers to an elder brother. Just as many Nepali's refer to Durga as "dai", so do I. With age comes maturity. Maturity and wisdom. Durga has always been quick to help & ready to listen whenever I've needed a friend or someone to talk to. In addition to his "being there", he is someone from which I love to learn things from. At one time, Durga was a translator in his country. As I desire to learn Nepali, he's been patient in trying to teach me as well as giving me resources that can be of assistance to me. Durga dai to many, appears to be a quiet, timid, reserved individual. He can be all of those things. However, with me, he's extremely funny, talkative and loads of fun. If you were to ask many of the Nepali students to name people that they had utmost respect for in their circle, you would surely hear Durga's name. I have great trust & admiration for Durga dai. When my journey with Nepali persons began I started hearing about Everest Cafe (the only Nepali Restaurant in St. Louis). I'd hoped to go for a long time but never was able to make it. Finally, after a year, I made it there. My first trip there was with my brother. I am so glad that I was able to go with someone so dear to my heart. One day, Durga will leave St. Louis. On that day (& many days after), I'll be sad. When that time comes, I'll know that I've not only made a friend for a lifetime but I, for a short time, enjoyed life with the big brother I'd always longed for. For now, I'll continue to grab hold of every second I can spend with Durga, cherishing every moment.

Dashain Party 2010

Dashain Party 2009 was my intro to the Nepali culture. Dashain Party 2010? I was excited to be in the presence of & celebrating a year spent with some astounding Nepalese persons. My dear bahini (little sister), Grishma, got me a ticket to the event & her doing so, made me feel quite honored. My Nepali friends (both old & new) have been so good to me over the last year - welcoming me, treating me as one of their own. Odd as it may seem, I have a family-like atmosphere with many of them. From the moment I first learned about this years party, I had high hopes that I would be fortunate enough to go. Last year, I felt a little like a duck out of water. I was in an unfamiliar setting amidst a roomful of strangers from a completely different walk of life than my own. This go around, I felt "at home" if you will. While I certainly did not know everyone in attendance, I knew a a fare percentage of those that were present. Just as they have done time & time again over the last 12 months, they greeted me with kindness & a friendly spirit. This year, I bought a ticket for a friend of mine - an American friend. Zach had been in my home when one of the Nepali's cooked, he'd been around some of the Nepali's...only seemed appropriate to invite him along. I was sure to let him know that he would probably not understand a word spoken through the evening as most of the program would be in Nepali. I failed to mention, however, that he could just disregard whatever "time schedule" may have appeared on his ticket. If there is one thing I have learned over the last year, it is that the Nepalese do not run on American time. I am not saying that harshly nor is such a statement true of every person from Nepal. However, I think that many of my Nepali friends could agree with me on this though. I have grown accustomed to how things are done & I'm OK with it now that I have an understanding of things. That being said, our tickets stated that we would begin eating dinner at 8:00 p.m. As the clock kept on ticking & our stomach's continued to growl with hunger, Zach questioned when we would be eating. I then remembered from the year prior that I had asked the same thing when sitting at the table with Suman. As I thought back to the year before, I began to laugh. I broke the bad news to Zach--it was probably going to be a while. If my memory was correct, we did not eat until nearly 9:00 the year before. On another note, when we finally did eat, the food was delectable! I think Zach would admit that though the wait was long, the food was worth the wait. He, like me, loved the Goat's Meat. Only disappointment of the evening was that Zach left before the after-hour dance party started. I was really looking forward to watching him show off his moves on the dance floor. I had already insisted that I would NOT be dancing. In fact, I said I would "NEVER" dance. Lesson learned yet again in life..."NEVER say NEVER!" Though I'm not sure one could call it dancing, I was on the dance floor & moved slightly. All in all, I would total my minutes of "moving" to maybe 5. 7 minutes top.

(Pankaj was, no doubt, the dancing machine. He tried his best to try to get me to moving. He was successful for a minute or two.)

Instead, I was much more at ease taking my pictures. At one point, some guy I did not know came & grabbed me by the hand & attempted to drag me out there to dance with him. I told him I was busy. His words were, "You've taken enough pictures, it's time to dance." He got me out there--it was short-lived though. Every fiber of my being wishes that I had rhythm & knew how to move without looking like a complete fool. I heard the music, liked the music, could sing along to the songs & was dying to get out there. Yet, I couldn't bring myself to do it. I wonder....are there Dance Lessons for Dummies?

(My sweet friend, Pawana. She let me know that there are just a few "basic moves" that I need to learn in order to "hold my own out on the dance floor." She'll have to be the teacher-not an easy task!)

Despite the fact that I did not dance the night away with my friends, I had a fantastic time with my many friends. The party ended shortly after midnight & after driving here & there to return friends to their "homes", I finally tucked myself in my own bed at 3:30 the next morning. I had just as good of a time (if not better) as expected. I am so jubilant that I was able to go share such a special time with people that are so close to my heart. A year away but I'm ready....Dashain 2011!

Rolling On The River

11:00 a.m. : Check-out time at the hotel in Cape. I made it out just minutes before 11 & then pondered what to do & where to go next. Remembering Keshav's pictures from his stay in Cape, I wanted to make sure that I explored the riverfront. Darpan was unable to go with me & Samikshya was fast asleep unaware that her phone was ringing. I've never really been one to allow being alone to stop me from doing something. While many won't go to a restaurant by themselves, I will. Certainly, I was not going to pass on the opportunity to see some more sights. The murals painted all along the wall at the riverfront were a nice addition to the area....great concept depicting different historical aspects as well as famous persons born in the state of Missouri. I enjoyed sitting & watching the river roll along. Though the town was ghostly due to SEMO being on Fall Break & students being away, there were no shortage of couples. Not even a clue as to how many couples I saw that were walking around posing for engagement photos. I hate to say it but that got to me. Had I have had someone, ANYONE with me, things would have been fine. Instead, I had no one to take my mind off of all that I saw which only brought to the forefront that yes, I'm single. Though this is a reality daily for me, most days it does not bother me. Unfortunately, it did on this day. Since my camera was out of commission (accident-it was dropped), I had to use my cell phone camera to try to capture the scenery. If I would have had someone with me, we could have taken some cool pics down there. After walking around, hunger set in. As I walked, I saw a place selling ice cream, shakes & malts. Seeing as how I'm quite passionate about ice cream, I knew I should stop there. I walked in & as soon as I stepped foot in the door, the aroma of BBQ hit me. I don't get to enjoy BBQ too frequently as some in my family do not like it. I decided to enjoy lunch there & cap things off with a shake to go. I was the only customer in the place when I arrived, only one there when I left. Which, that might lead many to believe that the place was not worth eating at. However, I'd go back there in a flash as it was quite tasty. Before exiting Cape, I made 2 stops-1 at Darpan's dorm & 1 at Samikshya's house. I thanked them & said my farewell. Moving along.....

Chillin' in Cape

Over the last year, I have developed friendships with many students from Nepal. As I have gotten to know them, I've received friend requests on Facebook from many of their friends/family members back home in Nepal or in other places around the world. I've accepted some of those requests & have conversed with a great number of these individuals. 2 of the Nepali's I'd been in contact with live here in Missouri in the town of Cape Girardeau & are attending Southeast Missouri State University. Wishing to meet them, I figured while time allowed, I would do so. I first met Darpan. I learned about Darpan over the summer when my little brother, Narayan, called & asked me to pick up his friend from the airport. Ready & eager to do so, I learned that Darpan was not in St. Louis as Narayan thought. Instead, he was in Kansas City (for those unfamiliar with this place, Kansas City is about 3.5-4.0 hours west of St. Louis). He was also not attending college in St. Louis as Narayan had misunderstood him to say. Needless to say, I did not meet Darpan at that time. Our moment to meet had finally arrived & he was just as I envisioned that he would be - quiet & shy. He suggested that we go to a nature conservatory & I was enthused by his effort in trying to develop a "plan." We made it to the center & he quickly caught on to one thing--I love to take pictures. I told him from the beginning that he was going to have to deal with that. I had to smile when after a few shots, he would finally hand the camera back to me & want me to take his picture. Though awkward meeting at first, he began to warm up to me as the minutes passed by. As soon as we sat down to eat some Indian food at the Global Cafe', Samikshya called. In the spring, my other little brother, Keshav, flew to Cape. He spent several days with Samikshya. I was eager to meet her as Keshav so enjoyed his time with her. She hurried to the cafe to join Darpan & myself. She was not timid at all-maybe due in part to the fact that she has been living here in the U.S. for a few years & it is a bit more accustomed to life in America? After eating, we went to Samikshya's home where I met several of her friends. I met yet another Manish & another Sameer (I say another because I already have 2 friends with the same name). I had a great time getting to know all of them. Samikshya was adamant that I try on her saree (sari). I'd been longing to try one on for quite sometime as I think they are stunning (just like the Nepalese people). While it looked "OK", I think it would have looked much better had I have had the proper attire for underneath it. Whatever the case, many of my Nepalese friends have paid me compliments on it & for that, I'm quite appreciative. Their positive feedback might be the confidence I need to attempt to wear such again sometime. Maybe I can move beyond a house & out into public while doing so as well. We'll see...no guarantees. Of course, I did tell a couple of my Nepali brothers that they could buy me one & mail it to me. I suppose if they do so, I'll have no choice but to wear it out of my respect for them. Though my stay was brief, I am so very glad that I had the opportunity to go beyond simply chatting with these 2 Nepali's & actually spend some time with them. Much thanks to Darpan & Samikshya for welcoming me & treating me as one of their own.