For those that know me well, I'm sure you will find some of this quite comedic. There is a point though. We'll get there. When arriving at the retreat center in Nepal where I would be staying, N.P. & I entered through the gate & immediately began climbing up the flights of stairs. He was before me holding one end of my large suitcase while I was on the other end helping to hold it up. 1 flight of stairs, 2 flights of stairs, 3 flights of stairs. I was wondering if we were ever going to reach my room. A room on the 4th Floor & my spending the next 10 minutes huffing & puffing & trying to regain my breath made for an early realization that my trips up & down those steps would be limited. I was determined that if I were going down, I would have everything necessary with me so that nothing would be forgotten leaving me to have to climb back up yet again. If I were to go up, it would most likely be because I was not going anywhere else for the evening. I finally was stable; breathing again when N.P. & I decided to go seek out some dinner. If I had to guess, The Bakery Café was maybe a half a mile away – “maybe”. As we left, the sun had already set, it was dark, there were no lights & I was rather fearful as traffic was buzzing all around me. Managing not to get hit was a big enough task, let alone trying not to trip & fall or hit a rock & sprain my ankle (in case you have not figured it out, many of the “roads” are not paved. Dirt, rocks & potholes made up the majority). Just that effort was exhausting. I bet we were ¾ the way to the place when I began to complain about being tired. Imagine the surprise on N.P.’s face when I expressed being tiresome. Granted he had seen plenty of pictures of me, talked with me on Skype by video & I had shared that I hated walking or any form of exercise, I don’t think he knew to what extent I meant that. Of course, he’s use to walking. His feet are his primary mode of transportation. In that moment, I knew it was going to be a long 2 weeks (in that regard). As the days went by, things did get easier (though I continued to walk with my head down looking to see where my feet were going so that I would not have an accident). One day, we went walking to see about having an outfit made for me. After we finished that up, we continued walking & N.P. planned to show me something; a square full of Hindu Temples. Shocked that he had not commented on the fact that I had not griped about the walk, I wanted to point out to him that I had not said anything. I said, “Honey, aren’t you amazed that I’ve not said one word yet or asked how much longer we have to walk?” Then, he said that he was & he was proud of me. He wanted to know that I was OK. I assured him I was. The following week, we went to visit some friends. After I spoke to one of his friends’ seminary classes, we then went walking in search of a particular restaurant that was said to have very good fish. The sun was shining brightly with not a cloud in sight as we just continued marching on. Though we never came to the place he had hoped to find, we did stop to eat. While all previous areas were found with plenty of taxis or rickshaws, to see anything at all on this road was rare. I knew that our return would be by foot. From time to time, N.P. would ask me if I was OK or if I was tired. I would reply, “I’m fine.” I was fine. He offered to try to find us a ride to prevent us from having to walk so very far. I kept insisting I was fine. We walked until we could walk no longer & we needed to take a taxi just to get to the next area. If I had to guess, we walked a good 5-6 miles that day. That is about 5-6 miles farther than I walk on any given day. Yet, I trekked along & managed remarkably well. I was not worn out until later on that afternoon when it seemed we would NEVER find a taxi. At which point, N.P. decided we would take a bicycle rickshaw. I had stared at those things for days & knew good & well that we were NOT going to fit in one together. However, N.P. insisted it would be OK. While it was OK, it was a tight fit & that was not because of N.P. but because of me (in particular, my hips). I had great sympathy for the cyclist who was pulling us along - especially considering the distance we were going. Though they are used to riding people around all day long, I still felt bad. I felt horrible that their legs were probably in dire pain because of us (me rather). If all of this was not enough, there's more. One day, prior to our Engagement Ceremony, N.P. needed to go to his college in order to get some things. He invited me to go with him. For those that have not been to Nepal, it's many hills & mountains - you just go up, up, up & climb some more to get anywhere (or so it seems). As the taxi was carrying us up the gigantic hill to his college, the taxi stopped. After a few minutes, we realized that the taxi was not going to make it up the hill with us in it (not sure that taxis usually go up to the area). N.P. said, "Honey, we're going to have to walk up the hill to the college." My enthusiasm about the situation was lacking. But, we began. As soon as we did, the heavens opened up & a torrential downpour came; not just heavy rain but hail as well. All the while, there were N.P. & me trying to climb this steep hill. N.P. held my hand & kept saying, "Come on honey, you can do it." I did it. By the time it was done, I was near death (at least I thought so) & then saw that we were not done with our climb. His room was up several flights of stairs. More walking. More climbing. Now, I must admit, there were a lot of laughs that came with this - both of us soaking wet, covered in dirt, mud from our battle through the hailstorm. If you have spent much time around me, you can surely envision how funny it all was. You might think this is the end of my walking tales. Not so. The day before I was to leave to return to the states, N.P. took me to an area which would give me the opportunity to see all of Kathmandu from atop. When we arrived I saw.....you guessed it, STEPS! I was quick to express my displeasure. After about 100 steps, I saw something close by & assumed it was our destination point. I said, "Oh, that's where we're going?" N.P. said, "No, we're only 1/4 of the way there." I can tell you, we did not see the other 300+ steps as I informed him we would not be going, turned right around & began my descent. N.P. was most understanding, kind, caring & loving & simply said, "No problem honey. We will walk this other way." I had only 1 question - "Is it full of steps?" He assured me that though there were steps, there were not nearly as many as the path we had been on. After walking for a while, the steps began to come within view. I finally reached a point where I did not want to continue on. I was fed up with steps. He let me know what had to keep going so we could get to the top. Once there, I'd be able to see all of Kathmandu. I looked to the side & said, "I can see it all from right here." He corrected me by pointing out that I could not see the other side of where we were. He also said that once I got to the type, I'd be telling him how beautiful it was. So, I began moving & hit the steps...again. As I did so, I could hear N.P. counting the steps as I would climb them "1-2-3". That did NOT make me giddy inside. I looked at him & suggested that he would be wise to not count another step. He just laughed hysterically. He found the entire situation hilarious. Alas, we made it to the top & well, he was right. The view from atop was beautiful. I was thankful he had encouraged me to keep on keeping on. As a side note: I will let you know that when we made it to the top, I looked down & saw hundreds of stairs. I asked N.P. where they led to. He informed me those where the steps we would have reached the top on had we continued on the steps where we started. Imagine that...2 routes & he thought that the one with HUNDREDS of steps was the best route from the beginning? He is fortunate I didn't strangle him! You may be wondering why I am sharing all of this? For some of you, you've probably found it entertaining or funny. That is not my main purpose (though, I completely understand if you were giggling. I was the whole time). I share all this to say that though I already knew I was out of shape, overweight & not in good health; it was never made as clear to me as when I was in Nepal. Having been there 2 weeks, I was able to catch a glimpse into my future. I knew ahead of time I would be doing a lot of walking. I think I underestimated just how much. I am well aware that unless I make some significant changes, there will not only be no improvement but I will not last long in Nepal. I am not currently in the physical condition I need to be to survive there. With that being said, I have found myself in a place that I've been in numerous times before. - trying to lose weight. For years, the desire was not necessarily to do so to better my health but because I simply hated what I saw when I looked in the mirror & I thought that if I were to be thinner, maybe one day some guy would find me attractive, fall in love with me & desire to marry me. My reasoning has changed since I last endeavored upon changing. God has brought N.P. into my life & though N.P. desires to see me lose weight simply because he is concerned about my health, he loves me just the way I am. He finds me beautiful as I am. He sees me for my heart, not just what is on the outside.No, I am no longer out to get some guys attention. I didn't have to try - N.P. picked me! Now, I am focused on the fact that I look at my family & I worry. My dad has had Quadruple Bypass & nearly died. My mom is Diabetic. I have already had 2 strokes & was diagnosed as borderline Diabetic in 2007. My sister has lost weight but is still overweight. I fear all of us winding up in a hospital because we're obese. As I prepare for my life in Nepal, I HAVE to, I MUST lose weight. I desire to not just be N.P.'s wife as long as God gives me the privilege but I desire to be used in ministry to the fullest capacity. I cannot be if I'm too fat to walk everywhere. As I've thought about all of this, I've decided not just to think but to act. For the last few weeks, I have been eating healthier. I've replaced my cookies, cake, brownies & potato chips with cucumbers, carrots, grapes & bananas. I have began walking. The first night I went to do so, my sister told me that there was a possibility that she & her husband may want to go with me if he was not too tired when he got home from work. I looked at her & said, "Nope, not waiting". I knew that if he were too tired to go, they would not go & it would be late & I would lose all motivation & not go at all. I've spent far too long waiting for others & simply cannot afford to wait any longer. The time has come when I must exercise discipline & commitment to something. Every day, I go to my old high school to walk. I had been going in the evenings but have found that I am better off doing so in the morning. I set my alarm for 5:15 & head to the track. I've been doing a mile every time & am in hopes that soon, I'll be able to increase my distance. This is a start but a huge start for me. I would ask you, my friends, to please pray for me. I definitely need your prayers & encouragement. I am looking forward to the day that I am in good enough condition to climb to up to the top of the mountain in Pokhara to see the sunrise with N.P. I am eager for the day when I can walk one flight of stairs without breathing like a dog. I am looking forward to wearing smaller clothes & having to have my wedding dress taken in because it's too big. With His help, I can do this!
